Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Guys get it all!

Guys get all of the good stuff. They really do. Consider the following:
1. Getting ready. It always takes me an hour to get ready for anything. My hubbie can wake up and be out of the door in 15 minutes (I have seen this). Rushing it is hard to approach the one-hour-get-ready barrier. You think Roger Bannister amazed the world with a sub-4 minute mile. My hubbie would drop dead if I broke the one hour "get ready" barrier.
2. Shaving. My hubbie shaves his face. Big freaking deal – if he doesn't do it one day, he has a "rugged look." I have to shave my legs (think ankles) and under arms. Lots more surface area – and I don't get to use a wimpy electric shaver, either. So my shaver is pink (pink = wimpy), but there is a real razorblade in that my pink number. And some women, wanting to overachieve, shave their privates as well.
3. Shoes. I do not consider myself worshiping before the fashion goddesses, but I have more than forty pairs of shoes. My hubbie has three pair. Okay, probably five pair (including hiking and an old pair of tennis shoes). I have shoes that I only wear with one outfit. How is that possible? How does that look rational to anyone but a worman? I have shoes I have only worn once. And I think I am normal. Yikes.
4. Orgasms. Let's face it. Guys have orgasms all of the time. They come inside, and they orgasm. It is sure money. And if a woman is not around, they can stroke off in two minutes and spew into a sock. Women – I consider myself a part-time air traffic controller. "A little to the right, a little to the left. There. Just lick there." And having an orgasm during traditional sex? Not counting the acting, maybe three times per year. And that is after oral (and well-timed). Maybe just lucky. And some women never have an orgasm during sex. Never.

So guys, before you bitch about always having to pay for dinner and sometimes not getting any, please refer to the above. I'd rather be taking out the plastic and having those four advantages. I could have listed more, but I am in a bitchy mood right now (PMS and other like symptoms could have easily been #5).

8 comments:

Ddot the King said...

You mean a lot of women don't orgasm?? Every woman i've been with said she did! Wait. You don't think they could've lied to me do you?! LMAO. Great post.

mfophotos said...

Well, I know you have hot the nail on the head in this one. However, I don't have to shave every day since I have a beard, and I haven't cum into a sock since I was in college...

lately, my wife outorgasms me 3 to1, but that's becuase of her friend Mr. Magic Wand...

Phoenix said...

LMAO.....Men have always had it easier, i ought to know as i am one(smartass replies gladly accepted and noted!) hehehe...but i have to say that i cant understand men who want it over and done with in a flash? Making love is one of the greatest pleasures mankind can experience and it should be given the utmost care and attention and more often than not,i find a good lengthy time spent on foreplay is sometimes more pleasurable than the act of intercourse itself!

Im now very proud of the fact that i used intercourse instead of fucking!....LMFAO!

Jerrster said...

ddot cracked me up with his comment.

men need training in the Art of the Tongue.

it will increase orgasm occurrence
significantly.

it won't help the discrepency in
getting ready for the date
but it all pays off later.

facade said...

great way to begin the morning, reading the varied thoughts of many, all offering smiles and stirrings....i appreciate the time it takes you to get ready, as we do enjoy the benefits of your beauty....though i daily give thanks for being a man, 5 minutes in the morn, shaving portions of face only, 6 pair of shoes, and dont forget the disparity of clothes as well....orgasms, i know i have been different in my love of foreplay, as michael well said, the passion of touch, of kissing, of slow simmering lust unleashed, my lover shuddering from many orgasms before i ever slide inside her.....there ARE men who are attentive, who smile as they learn how your particular flight stick needs to be moved....THAT is the thrill, the discovery! i am one who loves to tease, bring you slowly to the place of explosion, drawing you further, the brink of trembling, knowing you will respond, you will moan and quake....more, more...those are the words i love to hear, and oblige! smiling in louisiana today as i read the repartee betwenn you leesa and jillian, the erotic princess...two women who stir with their words and expressions! great blog !

MZPEACH said...

Leesa you got down on this one. Too funny!

The Seeker said...

Shaving your face is a LOT harder than shaving your legs, I don't care what the surface area is. (Yes, I cycle and for several years have shaved my legs in the season.) The two minute sock thing is NOT satisfying. Please. Women who don't orgasm need to find new guys or learn how to communicate their needs to the ones they have. I'm continually astounded by how many women i've dated that have never even examined their personal parts (don't even mention actually playing with them to see what they like personally.) (I'll give you the 15 minute getting ready thing and the shoe thing for most men.

JR said...

Ignoring everything else, and focusing on "overachievers" --- I'm not sure if shaving those special areas is OVERachieving... :) Whatever it is, I sure do like it.