Friday, September 23, 2005

Wash your weenie

I heard on the radio the other day that women wash their hands more often than men (in public places). Lots of print stories on this – check out USA Today here.

All I have to say is: "Big shocker to me." Sheeessssss. This report is courtesy of the "American Society of Microbiology". My first thought is that people in the "American Society of Microbiology" don't sound like hand-washers to me, but it turns out these folks was their hands all of the time. With OCD, this is an occupation I would love. But you have to wear un-cool clothes, the labs are smelly, and – yeah, you have to go to school forever and then make what normal college graduates make (without an additional 5-7 years and $100 grand that you owe Sally Mae).

Back to the hand washing. So, if you have read any of my posts, you might think this Leesa chick has "slut-like" tendencies. Well, back-off, bucko. Just because I spent the better part of my college and some of my married life on my back, doesn't make me a slut.

Here is what I want to say. After all of these trysts (love that word, makes it sound so sophisticated), I got to see a lot of men pee afterwards. And not one of them ever dabbed the tip of their penis with toilet tissue. Why the hell not? You know there are a couple of drops of urine that you did not shake off, and now you are going to just leave it there. And I gave you a BJ, and you had a bit of dried urine on the tip. Thank goodness the saltiness killed the taste.

The research they performed was in public restrooms. I can say my own research shows that men wash their hands. But I was watching, and I think that influenced some/most of them. How could I tell? Sometimes they looked awkward washing their hands – you know, soap squirting out from between their hands. But heck, maybe it was the euphoria of the whole sexual experience.

I'm not sure a "wash your weenie" campaign would be very effective. I can see the PSAs – sultry woman speaking right into the camera, "Guys, I know you want a BJ, so before I pucker up, could you wash your weenie. Then pan out of the head shot and see her lips around a nice . . . . Well, it would have to be a cable PSA.

19 comments:

Spexial said...

hilarious!!!!

Ddot the King said...

Leesa this post is soooo funny. I can actually see the PSA in my head! I think you might be on to something!

Leesa said...

ddot - I wanted you to read the previous two posts!

Ddot the King said...

LOL! I'm reading them right now my dear!

Mark said...

wash yer weenie, don't be a meanie, give it to her all nice and cleanie...

Long Iron said...

Probably very true. I was at a ball game the other night and while I was washing my hands, the number of men leaving without doing the same was staggering. Poor women!

It's funny though, because at work, the women all seem to know which of their own female co-workers do not wash their hands. And they don't mind pointing them out either.

As for the PSA, they could probably get Monica Lewinsky to deliver that for free. Wait a minute, you said Sultry. My mistake.

Leesa said...

Mark: Great slogan. You must be a photographer;-)

long iron: I always point out the non-washers.

ken said...

yep, i also educate all the ones i work with of how such a simple oversight as not washing after ANY restroom visit is a no-no....imagine how many people i shake hands with, hug in a day....how many papers i touch....to go further, dont allow anyone to reach into your chip bag, nut can, or anything that is going to taint the remainder of food...washing hands for most men is a splash of water only....no surprise that illness spreads quickly among the "unwashed".
ok, another admission, and guys reading this, i am a man, no doubt, smiling, i sit and pee....have taught my son who is 21 in the navy to do the same..was easy to teach by explaining that when you splatter all over the bathroom, you get to clean the toilet and entire bathroom daily...( i do love the arousal i get from bleach and pinesol) PLUS, the toilet seat only gets raised to clean it....i do have a few male friends who consternate me with their machismo, "not gonna sit like a girl" so i do make them clean the seat when they are through...yeah, a real hardnose i am.....now..let me get to your more erotic sharings...naughty boy in louisiana....speaking of which...wow, many of my family just returned home last wek to survey the damage, 5 with homes totally destroyed, they will rebuild eventually, and now, friends and family bracing for more from rita.....already i miss new orleans....much to enjoy that the media never presents.....it is uplifting to see not only my community, but all of you nationwide helping...we are mostly giving caring people...

Georgiapeach said...

Leesa, you got to wipe a little spit on it. You know before the bj. May not be very effective, but it pacifies me. Thank goodness, I have a man that wipes his. Post is too hillarious!!

Ddot the King said...

WOW! You're a soldier GP! Maybe I'll come visit you after all! LOL!

Me said...

Read this one....
Americans' Dirty Secret Revealed

Heather said...

Hmm.. my husband might just be getting a few less blowjobs. The thought of dried pee.. yeah.. eww.

kathi said...

We need to come up with a contraption like the baby wipe warmer that goes in the bathroom, shaped like something the guys would wanna use...sexy lips(either kind), a beer or a football, that dispenses warm, thick cleaning wipes to use. Then maybe they would'nt mind taking some time to 'wipe'.

Storm said...

OMG! I'm snorting here! LOL

I am so absolutely anal when it comes to hand washing. I'm almost to the point of being diagnosed with OCD!

LadyLee said...

That was too, too, funny...But oh so true...

Jillian said...

Leesa,

Oh My God I am laughing my ass off! But so true how many times ladies have we seen when they pull the pants off the dried pee stained underwear.. Lmao..Or when you want to take a pee you have to clean the seat because they didnt have the common courtesy to lift the seat up. I had one incident when I went to sit down real quick had to piss like crazy and I sat in a pile of piss that was on the seat.. needless to say I never saw him again.. Thanks Leesa for the laugh made my day..

Quiet Man said...

I always wash, I guess because I was taught to when I was a kid. And I'm always amazed at how many (almost all) guys leave without washing their hands.

However, considering the wide range of unsanitary things I'm prepared to do with my tongue I guess it's somewhat academic!

LoreliaGilmore said...

I once had to use the men’s room in a gay bar and i was like the hand washing police. Stopping these dirty men from leaving before they had washed their hands!

royce said...

A woman always has the right to ask that she and her partner shower together before getting down to business. She then has the right to wash his male equipment until it meets her standard of clean. She also has the right to ask him to wash/rinse his weenie right before a BJ. If American women freely exercised these legitimate prerogatives, they would be more relaxed about not circumcising their baby boys.