Guys get all of the good stuff. They really do. Consider the following:
1. Getting ready. It always takes me an hour to get ready for anything. My hubbie can wake up and be out of the door in 15 minutes (I have seen this). Rushing it is hard to approach the one-hour-get-ready barrier. You think Roger Bannister amazed the world with a sub-4 minute mile. My hubbie would drop dead if I broke the one hour "get ready" barrier.
2. Shaving. My hubbie shaves his face. Big freaking deal – if he doesn't do it one day, he has a "rugged look." I have to shave my legs (think ankles) and under arms. Lots more surface area – and I don't get to use a wimpy electric shaver, either. So my shaver is pink (pink = wimpy), but there is a real razorblade in that my pink number. And some women, wanting to overachieve, shave their privates as well.
3. Shoes. I do not consider myself worshiping before the fashion goddesses, but I have more than forty pairs of shoes. My hubbie has three pair. Okay, probably five pair (including hiking and an old pair of tennis shoes). I have shoes that I only wear with one outfit. How is that possible? How does that look rational to anyone but a worman? I have shoes I have only worn once. And I think I am normal. Yikes.
4. Orgasms. Let's face it. Guys have orgasms all of the time. They come inside, and they orgasm. It is sure money. And if a woman is not around, they can stroke off in two minutes and spew into a sock. Women – I consider myself a part-time air traffic controller. "A little to the right, a little to the left. There. Just lick there." And having an orgasm during traditional sex? Not counting the acting, maybe three times per year. And that is after oral (and well-timed). Maybe just lucky. And some women never have an orgasm during sex. Never.
So guys, before you bitch about always having to pay for dinner and sometimes not getting any, please refer to the above. I'd rather be taking out the plastic and having those four advantages. I could have listed more, but I am in a bitchy mood right now (PMS and other like symptoms could have easily been #5).
Rescue me! Or a tale of two puppies
3 days ago