There are days that I look outside and I wonder why I ever left fifth grade. I mean, my whole life after fifth grade has been okay, but nothing could top that year.
There were things in fifth grade that were awesome: I had my first boyfriend kiss. I had kissed other boys, but this was a boy that I wore down. At fifth grade, girls were interested in boys and boys were interested in boogers. Well, to be fair, the boy I liked was a complicated lad; he also liked fart jokes that he highlighted with the use of armpit noises.
Another awesome fifth grade fact: I was lead syncer in an all girl band. We mostly rocked to Abba songs, and there was four of us. I was Anni-Frid; Björn and Benny were girls as well. None of the boys would sing with us.
Yet another awesome fifth grade item: no pregnancy scares, no STD scares, barely any kissing. But it was all good.
A final awesome fifth grade tidbit: I could be good at science, and they guys kinda liked it. If I liked frogs, I was Ms. Popular. If I knew the state bird, I was queen of the classroom. Last time I didn't have to hide my candle under a basket.
I don't want to do my work today; I want to go outside and play.
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