I am in the midst of a bout of depression. It is not as if anyone died, or I moved, or I had to do any public speaking (I read somewhere that moving or public speaking is nearly as stressful as having a relative die. I don't know how that can be – unless they averaged some stress tests, and some people were thrilled with dead in-laws and such. Oh, I can't carry a thought in a bucket tonight.)
I had a run-in with a neighbor this week. It is not as if we are close (or want to be close, for that matter). Because I have been depressed, this little run-in seems much more important than it really is. I have not been to the gym in a week or two, so I think I may do that to see if it helps.
I have been trying really hard to post every day that I am at work – but Monday may be an exception. Unless of course, I call into work with swine flu-like symptoms. I really think it would suck to catch the swine flu. I mean, having the flu that could kill you would suck, of course, but also having to tell people you have a disease named after a pig. That has got to be embarrassing.
Well, I am doing my part by washing my hands 200 times per day. I think I need more lotion.
About Leesa
LeesaI started blogging to improve my writing; I really did. Painters don't start with masterpieces – they start on scraps of paper, and even when planning a great work, they do many other drawings in preparation. I think writing is the same. You just don't start and finish a novel by merrily typing into the computer; you experiment. Blogging is sort of like a writer's doodling. So this is my scratch pad of sorts. This is less than scraps of paper actually, just 1s and 0s on your computer screen.
You can follow me on Twitter.
View my complete profile
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Notes on this Blog
Some random notes about this blog:
1. Schedule. I started writing this blog in 1995, and over the past few years, I have tried to write every workday. Then in the summer of 2008, I quit writing for a month or so. Now I try writing three times per week. The quality waxes and wanes. Sorry about that.
2. Leesa's Mailbag. I am trying a new weekly/monthly/semi-annual blog entry called "Leesa's Mailbag". Over the last few years, people have emailed me with questions, and I have answered them on an individual basis. Now, I think I will answer them on a blog entry. Perhaps Friday. Not sure I will get enough questions to do this often, but I will try to answer questions. Sort of an Ann Landers with attitude. Just write to the email address below.
3. My Stories. Yeah, I have a few erotic stories here. I know, they are not all that good, but they were fun to write. Don't read them if this offends you (and they represent less than 1% of the content here). These stories have elements of truth and fantasy, some more true than others. Complain about something that is a bit more substantive if you must complain. I have lots of faults.
4. Layout. My layout is clean and simple. You can tell me it is boring, and you would be right. I just don't want pink flowers and weird colors to get in the way of my words. I have customized my drop-down menus under "Quick Links" and "Blog Roll" so I had to use a little HTML.
Finally, there are loads of better bloggers here. If you like what you read, thanks. If you don't, thanks for dropping by (and I mean this). A few people who comment on my work add immensely to the experience.
1. Schedule. I started writing this blog in 1995, and over the past few years, I have tried to write every workday. Then in the summer of 2008, I quit writing for a month or so. Now I try writing three times per week. The quality waxes and wanes. Sorry about that.
2. Leesa's Mailbag. I am trying a new weekly/monthly/semi-annual blog entry called "Leesa's Mailbag". Over the last few years, people have emailed me with questions, and I have answered them on an individual basis. Now, I think I will answer them on a blog entry. Perhaps Friday. Not sure I will get enough questions to do this often, but I will try to answer questions. Sort of an Ann Landers with attitude. Just write to the email address below.
3. My Stories. Yeah, I have a few erotic stories here. I know, they are not all that good, but they were fun to write. Don't read them if this offends you (and they represent less than 1% of the content here). These stories have elements of truth and fantasy, some more true than others. Complain about something that is a bit more substantive if you must complain. I have lots of faults.4. Layout. My layout is clean and simple. You can tell me it is boring, and you would be right. I just don't want pink flowers and weird colors to get in the way of my words. I have customized my drop-down menus under "Quick Links" and "Blog Roll" so I had to use a little HTML.
Finally, there are loads of better bloggers here. If you like what you read, thanks. If you don't, thanks for dropping by (and I mean this). A few people who comment on my work add immensely to the experience.
Counter and Links
So I can keep track of the wonderful people who link to my humble site:
This site has been viewed about this many times (see below). If you divide this number by π (pi), you get the number of times I have entertained people.
This site has been viewed about this many times (see below). If you divide this number by π (pi), you get the number of times I have entertained people.
10 comments:
Sorry to hear you are having to deal with this... Breaking out of depression once it creeps in is difficlut, especially when someone aggrivates it even more.
try and go to the gym, it just might boost some happy endorphins for you :)
.... I must be in need of a little therapy myself, all i thought from your last sentance was *It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again!*.. (silence of the lambs)
I am comfortable speaking publicly that it is crazy. I get stressed when I don't get my "time in the spotlight". I think it has to do with being a lawyer and having to speak for a living.
Sorry about your neighbor. I get those random bouts of depression from time to time also. Do you need a hug?
I hope you feel better soon.
That stinks - the neighbor bit and the depression. Hang in there. Try to do things that you love.
Xmichra: I will be pursing the endorphins today.
Karen: Thanks for the offer of a hug. Still feeling smallish.
GND: Thanks, sweetie.
Jules: Thanks for the encouragement.
Do you want to stop depression? Someone Does Need You!
Instead of calling it the Swine Flu, couldn't you just say that you've been porked? Or just tell them you have my current affliction, the Flaming Sharts™. That would be much less embarrassing.
Sorry you are in the depths. I know all too well what that is like, and how hard it is to climb out. I had thought your writings had a different quality for the last few weeks.
It will pass...even though it might not feel like it now
Depression for me is always random, rarely with a known cause. I kind of accept it as part of who I am. Anyway, hang in there and a big hug for you, lovely friend.
Submit PR: I can't believe this - I got spam from a depression post.
Grant: Funny, Grant, funny.
Acuity: Thanks, sweetie.
Ian: Thanks, sweetie. Random, that's the way I would describe it.
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