Monday, February 16, 2009

Sex While . . .

Warning: your boss may not want you to read this while working.

I woke up the other morning, and the first thing that I thought was: there are 6 billion people in the world, and with all of those people and situations, I would imagine it would be hard to document an experience where at least someone did not do it while having sex.

Some experiences are easy: sex while watching television. Shame on you if you have done it, but I would think that about 5% of blog readers have done this. Oh, I made up a statistic. I bet I will one day be quoted.

Sex while blogging. I would imagine that if you typed "sex while blogging", you would find several blog entries that would have documented this very feat. And then wrote about it.

Sex while working. Been there, done that. Helpful hint: although the copy machine looks sturdy, once there is a bit of rocking going on, those hinges can break really, really easily. Not that I have done that. And, do you just have to be at work, or do you have to be doing something productive? I bet both have been done, more the former than the later.

Then there are some weird experiences. Sex while cleaning the toilet. Probably not as common, but I bet it has been done. Imagine you are getting ready for the mother-in-law coming over. You get ready to take your shower, undress and start the water, and then you notice that the toilet is unsightly. As the water gets warm, you start cleaning the toilet. Unhelpful hubbie comes in and sees you, naked on all fours, hair falling in your face. Two minutes later, you are doing it right next to the toilet. Completely gross, but you can check that experience off the list.

Sex while in the dentist's office. Crap, this is actually one that is highly documented. Dentists are in prison because of this. Ooops.

Sex while in the operating room. Well, I hope no surgeon has done this, but perhaps there were two people who were . . . coupled . . . and could not get uncoupled. So they had to do surgery. More likely, a couple of people in gowns – not sure what their jobs would be – they are masked and not carry scalpels. Problem is, though, it sort of shoots the sterile field to hell.

Maybe I invented a new game. It is quite fun. Play along in the comments if you wish.

At the end, I was thinking of something so specific that there cannot be someone who has had sex while performing the task. For instance, sex while painting the Mona Lisa. There is exactly one person who painted the Mona Lisa (specificity of participants). And the duration cannot be but a month or so (limited duration). But then I began to think: as a woman (Grant, suspend your sense of reality), you are sitting for a painting, spending hours upon hours with the most inventive man in the world. There is no Internet, no Leesa's Stories, no Starbucks. What is a girl to do? So now we know what that smile is all about.

Sort of fitting that this is posted on President's Day! Sex while interning at the White House . . . .


74WIXYgrad said...

Standing up in a hammock.


Drafting at Daytona.

I doubt if I could get my my wife to participate in any of those situations.

~Deb said...

Oh and I both know that the toilet cleaning scene would not fly very well, being that the both of us have a healthy dose of OCD...

This is so not good to display on any blog on the internet, however, I wish to share this with you in hopes this is between you, me and the rest of the world who reads you... While out to dinner one night, I got a little too tipsy. My girlfriend decided to drive since she wasn't drinking. (This is back in 2000.) While we were driving, I needed to use the ladies' room. We were 20 minutes away from home and nearby was the company I worked for. I slipped in with my id card and used their facilities. Welp, I decided since I had access to the building and no one was around, I grabbed my sweetie and took her inside the break room. The next morning, while making coffee in that same room, I noticed that there was a little camera installed on the way right corner.

Nobody said a word to me. I wonder if they even checked it. Anyway, not that I was working, but it was near bathroom and at my place of work.

Long story short, watch for cameras!!!

Frasypoo said...

Thanks for dropping by
You are hilarious!!!
My husband may be game for some of these!!!!

Ian Lidster said...

You have set my mind to soaring into countless possibilities. My ex and I once had sex while she talked to her mother on the phone. For some reason I found that unspeakably arousing. A 'friend' in England and I were having sex in her 2nd floor bedroom with the curtains open and a double deck bus pulled right outside. Left me feeling a bit exposed but it gave her a huge boost.

kathi said...

On the balcony of our romm on a cruise ship as we passed another ship in the middle of the day. Good times.

Leesa said...

wixy: sometimes the ones that seem so erotic are actually less than . . . enjoyable once you have embarked on them. In the water, for instance.

~deb: cameras. Oh, my.

Frasypoo: thanks, sweetie.

ian: I . . . ahem . . . serviced a lad in my youth when he was on the phone with his . . . mother? Aunt? Cousin? Some blood relative.

kathi: you were a wild one, sweetie.

Tim said...

A popular one for sure....

Sex while driving.

Sex in the middle of a stream (Just make sure it is summer)

Leesa said...

tim: sex in the water seems to be better imagined than experienced.

Awake In Rochester said...

Isn't that funny, I thought of skydiving too. Hmm, how about on top of a famous building like the Empire State Building, or The Leaning Tower of Pisa. On top of a mountain. On a ship/boat. On a beach. As you can tell, I like beautiful scenery.

As for me, I'll take the comfort, and privacy of a home, or hotel room. Boring right? Well, a room on a cruise ship sounds good too. lol