Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Nice Swear Words

On February 2, 2007, I wrote a title ("Nice Swear Words") and one single word, "muffin." I really debated just deleting the draft, thus helping to clear out all draft backlogs (after this, there are two left). Without further ado (and I really don't know where this is going) . . . .

When I was a freshman in college I dutifully took my Freshman English class. The only thing I remember about the class was that we read a short story about a guy driving a rig. I read the story, and was not really moved. The next day, the professor tells me about all of the symbolism, how the truck (a Peterbilt) represented the guy's genitals. Then he goes into a tirade about when they talk about a "skirt", men are implying that the only reason to be with a woman was because of what the skirt contained.

So in a sense, I suppose calling someone a skirt would be a "nice swear word." Okay, probably not.

I had a friend that, when angry, used to say, "Eat my muffin." I giggled the first time she said it, mostly because of what I thought it meant. Now, I am sure she was not inviting someone who pissed her off to engage in cunnilinguis. Perhaps, to her, it may have been meant as a variant of "bite me," another one of her sayings.

Now I have heard of "muffin munchin'", and I have concluded it is all about cunnilinguis. Muffin is a cute-sy term. But I don't ever recall of hearing someone calling someone a muffin and meaning they were a p---y. I guess muffin is not a swear word.

For those of you who have read my erotic short stories, you will notice the lack of curse words. There was a high school, or was it middle school, science teacher that said that "bad words are the tools of small minds."

I don't know if that, or the taste of Ivory soap, lead me to current state of clean mouth. Actually, I think it may have more to do with my southern upbringing. It was just un-lady-like to say certain things.

I started this out by saying "nice swear words." You know, swear words are not supposed to be nice. They are supposed to be mean, they are supposed to hurt, and as my science teacher may suggest, "for small minds."

Maybe why this is why I never finished this post.


Anonymous said...

I really liked this post. I can identify with almost all of it. That whole skirt thing sounds like some whacked out professor though. And "muffin" has been used in "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith. Although your friend's version of it is interesting. And I have felt the same way about swear words. Really, how creative can you be to use those words? It takes someone of a little more than average intelligence to come up with something just as impacting and more gentile.


Writer Guy said...

I had to delurk for this one. After dating my wife for a while it came time to meet the family. There were several things she warned me about (as is normal when meeting your girlfriend's family for the first time). But the one that still gets to me today is that her family refers to dust bunnies as p#$$ies. No ones really sure why, and although my wife has explained what that word is slang for, no one has the heart to tell grandma or grandpa who use the term quite a bit come spring cleaning time.

Prata said...

I find it interesting that everyone has this weird little notion that swear words are the tools of small minds...or it's not creative..and that by using them you are implied to be lacking in the area of creativity.

Humans are creatures of habit and laze. I'd much prefer to just say fuck (I can't believe I left the dog out in the rain!)...or damn (Ow that hurt my foot in a profane way.)or fuck off (Please exit my company, lest this situation become violent and or detrimental to your already tenuous existence.) or whatever it is that is quick and fast.

That's just me though; however, I'm rather creative. ;)

Leesa said...

edge: very well said, though I am not sure I could identify Aerosmith (except by album cover).

writer guy: maybe the name comes from cats - cats sometimes play with dust bunnies, right?

prata: I guess when people try to shock or hurt, sometimes they use swear words. Over time, the swear words become less harsh (and less effective in hurting or shocking). When I was a little girl, damn was an extremely toxic word. Now it is an adjective, thrown in almost as an afterthought.

LarryLilly said...

The science teacher is wrong by his own words. Profanity have a place in literature, they are used to convey not only the action, but the tense, and or emotion of the word.

When the man that has been on the road for two weeks, comes home and greets his wife, he "could" say "honey lets have intercourse", but to convey the essence of pent up passion, the use of the word fuck means so much more. So yes, in normal polite conversation there are always other ways to say something, but the use of swear words (I prefer to use the term strong words) isnt the same. It was a nice thought to give kids in high school, but I doubt J. D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye would have won the minds of people that read it by using church diction.

cathouse teri said...

I don't agree with your science teacher. I hardly have a small mind, and I think swear words can be very appropriately, creatively and powerfully used. I mean I fuckin' cuss a lot! :)

larrylilly made some good points. And I like the term "strong words."

But yeah, when a man walks in and a woman says, "Come on over here, baby doll, and give me a long deserved fuck," it's much more meaningful than, "Let's have sex!"

Prata said...

Damn isn't really a swear word though, I don't think. I mean I guess today it is..but that's a bastardization of the term which was Greek in nature (not French like the dictionary says).

Ian Lidster said...

My ex sister-in-law, who was quite prim in many ways, actually liked the term 'pussy' for female genitals because she thought it sounded cute and soft and was so much more preferable to other words that are used.

Advizor said...

Growing up in a house where "damn" was outlawed completely, "Hell" was voided even in gospel discussions, and in describing helicopters, and "F***" would have gotten you kicked out of the house, the county, and the will, I try not to swear too much. But, as I've started writing erotica on my blog, I have struggled with getting "polite" words to convey the intensity and motivation that is inherent in well chosen swear words.

I agree with Ian's ex-sister-in-law, "Pussy" can be a perfect term, it's less clinical than the V-word, more tender than the S-word, and avoids the mean spiritedness of the C-word.

But as for the "small minds" argument, the science teacher was right on the nose when it comes to swearing in every day conversation. I was at a job site today and two of the forman said "F**k" about 30 times in three sentences F-ing this, F-that, F-off. It was gutter talk it's worst because they used one word for every adjective, adverb, and most of the pronouns. It was the dumbest conversation, the dullest wits, and the dimmest bulbs all on display at once.

But I will agree with you all, that I would pay a $1,000,000 if just once, my wife meet me at the door, take me by the hand, and whisper in my ear, "Fuck Me."

SSC said...

My mother use to wash my mouth out with soap when I said a bad word. I use to watch what I said and then I started hanging out with more and more of my friends and my mouth is one of a trucker.

Thanks for this post I needed to read it as I need a refresher coarse in Lady like behavior 101.

Leesa said...

larry: I would say that overuse is the problem.

cathouse: when some words are overused, the loose their strong meaning.

prata: I don't know if it is a swear word, but I always thought it was.

ian: pussy is a soft word, really. But I am embarrased by it to this day.

advizor: I think you put it in better terms than I did.

ssc: I can almost taste the soap to this day.

Warrior said...

Well if you call someone a pussy it's not so soft. I can't stand the C word in English until I am having sex and the lady uses it, then it's such a turn on. I guess I mean the word you use depends on the context as to when it's aggressive funny or sexy... Sometimes the anger is too strong to be clever, but to say people have small minds when they are creatively swearing is a poor excuse for being prudish in my fecking opinion :-)