On February 2, 2007, I wrote a title ("Nice Swear Words") and one single word, "muffin." I really debated just deleting the draft, thus helping to clear out all draft backlogs (after this, there are two left). Without further ado (and I really don't know where this is going) . . . .
When I was a freshman in college I dutifully took my Freshman English class. The only thing I remember about the class was that we read a short story about a guy driving a rig. I read the story, and was not really moved. The next day, the professor tells me about all of the symbolism, how the truck (a Peterbilt) represented the guy's genitals. Then he goes into a tirade about when they talk about a "skirt", men are implying that the only reason to be with a woman was because of what the skirt contained.
So in a sense, I suppose calling someone a skirt would be a "nice swear word." Okay, probably not.
I had a friend that, when angry, used to say, "Eat my muffin." I giggled the first time she said it, mostly because of what I thought it meant. Now, I am sure she was not inviting someone who pissed her off to engage in cunnilinguis. Perhaps, to her, it may have been meant as a variant of "bite me," another one of her sayings.
Now I have heard of "muffin munchin'", and I have concluded it is all about cunnilinguis. Muffin is a cute-sy term. But I don't ever recall of hearing someone calling someone a muffin and meaning they were a p---y. I guess muffin is not a swear word.
For those of you who have read my erotic short stories, you will notice the lack of curse words. There was a high school, or was it middle school, science teacher that said that "bad words are the tools of small minds."
I don't know if that, or the taste of Ivory soap, lead me to current state of clean mouth. Actually, I think it may have more to do with my southern upbringing. It was just un-lady-like to say certain things.
I started this out by saying "nice swear words." You know, swear words are not supposed to be nice. They are supposed to be mean, they are supposed to hurt, and as my science teacher may suggest, "for small minds."
Maybe why this is why I never finished this post.
Guest Post by Joseph Luzzi, author of IN A DARK WOOD
20 hours ago