Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I like secrets. I like to keep secrets. I have lots of them.

I keep my identity here a mystery. Part of me wanting to keep secrets, I guess. But more than that, I enjoy knowing things that other people don't know. Now, I don't know the names of people in Terrorist Cells in Montana, or even if there are terrorist cells in Montana, but I know some secrets.

I know secrets about my family, and sometimes I wonder how many people know these secrets. When I was younger, I told secrets to my brother and sister, but since college, I am not sure I have shared any secrets with them. And I guess I have not shared too many secrets with them since college.

They don't know about any of my affairs, but I am relatively sure that my mother suspects. My father, well, not so much. He sees the best in people – a true gift. They don't know that my husband and I got so close to getting a divorce. Some at work do, but not my family.

I am on the brink of November, and every November, I think about Grant and the NaNo. You know, the National Novel Writing Month.

I have a secret desire to write a novel, and it is still a secret because if I tell somebody, somebody in the real world knew about my secret desire, I may feel more compelled to act on it. No all secrets are dirty, are ugly, are embarrassing. Well, dirty, ugly embarrassing secrets are the type of secrets we like to hear, not the type of secrets we like to harbor.

I have not convinced myself to write my rough draft this month, but every November, I think about it. That's my little secret.


LarryLilly said...


The secret is out of the bag.

You need a new one.

Get writing, as you know, its work to write well. Here, you just blabble, but writing a short story or a novel takes work, even if its supposed to be "fun".

Anonymous Boxer said...

I like your secret and I hope you continue thinking about it....

My secret is my blog - my husband knows (now) and I just told my younger brother, but not my other siblings. I had to change formats when my secret was "discovered" (husband.)

It's not a bad secret as you said... it's just I wanted/needed a place to be... secret.

Leesa said...

larry: I think NaNo is supposed to get you off your butt. Yeah, here I just babble. I need to think of plot, characters, all sorts of things. Crap, that's a lot of work.

boxer: my weight is my secret.

Ian Lidster said...

Do the novel. I'll buy, but only if you autograph it. Secrets. Hmm. I have a couple of them and I don't think I'll ever reveal them. They don't pertain to anything active now, so I think I'll just live with them. Or, maybe write about them.

RWA said...

You should definitely do it. I would buy a copy too.

RWA said...

You should definitely do it. I would buy a copy too.

Anonymous said...

Nano snuck up on me this year. In fact, I was just getting used to the fact that it's already October. Even though I succeeded the one time I tried, it wasn't fun for me - I was pushing myself to put down words just because I committed to the project.

- Grant

Advizor said...

My life has been full of secrets. Some are big like Leesa's (cheating, hating my wife's brothers, doubting my ability to be a good Christian), some are small (I love lesbian porn and peeing outside (though not at the same time)).

I know that my parents kept big secrets from us as kids. I believe, to this day, that my mom cheated on my dad with my piano teacher, but I've never confirmed those suspicions. I know we were almost bankrupt one summer, and I know that my mom went to her grave mad at my father, but I don't know why.

My brother hid the fact that he was gay, my other brother was sleeping with his girlfriend when Mom and Dad thought he was a virgin, and all of us have a secret dislike of my younger brother's wife.

As for NaNo, I told a friend of mine, who is a professional screenwriter, that I was 1/2 way through a TV script. Now he keeps asking to read it, and I'm deathly afraid that he'll tell me the truth, and that it's awful.

Thanks for a great topic Leesa, I'll have to expand the ideas for an entry of my own.

Dr. Deb said...

I had a secret dream to write a novel and little by little I made it come true. Now I found an agent and we will be shopping for publishers next month. So scream the secret aloud, Leesa!

kathi said...

Never heard of NaNo, but I think I'd like to try it and I'm going to tell Charlie about it because he has 2 screenplays he's been working on.

Oh, and I just love your pic! ;)

Leesa said...

ian: But I need to think of a storyline. Characters. Crap, a novel is so much more than prattling on a blog.

rwa: wow, two copies. Hmmmmm.

grant: well, I may do it this year.

advisor: I know a guy who knows someone in Hollywood. The guy said almost exactly the same thing you said. Interesting.

dr. ~deb: congrats, sweetie! And scream your news from the rooftops.

kathi: I think NaNoWriMo is launching a screenplay-in-a-month extravaganza called Script Frenzy in June. NaNo is for novels, but you know, I don't think it matters too much.

Anonymous said...

If I may. I've read some of what you've written here, and I feel compelled to let you know that writing comes from your guts. If you're as serious about writing as you so mentioned in your blog, then I suggest you cut all the nice, cute, well structured little sentence, and you start Writing.

Good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

One more, since I omitted reading the comments before posting my first.

Writing is only complicated if you make it complicated. Screw characters, screw plot. Open words, take out a notebook, do what gets you going, and start writing. You'll worry about the order AFTER you've written something worth being read.