Have you ever had someone who continually said things to you in order to get a rise out of you? My readership is primarily male and the offenders, at least in my life, have been primarily female.
Generally, men don't say stuff to get you upset. That is not to say that men don't say hurtful things. But you know, I don't think men intentionally say hurtful things because even though I occasionally kid men about how smart they are, they are not dumb. And when you say something that upsets us, just be prepared to enter into no less than three long conversations where (1) you must talk about your feelings, (2) you must listen to us without trying to "solve anything" (premature solving of problems is like penalty shots in hockey1), and (3) we will bring up things you have thought we have forgotten about. Men are smarter than that. They hate long conversations, and if you say mean things, you are in for long conversations.
Men conserve their words. Well, most men. Not Herman Melville. But you get paid by the word and see how many adjectives you need to complete a sentence.2
Anyway, some women just are mean. They say mean things "without thinking." Oh, and the "without thinking" is totally BS. It is just their evil skewing of hurtful words are just second nature.
When I was younger, I would discuss these mean things with the evil girls. Well, when I was really young, I pulled hair, and most often, evil girls have really strong grips and they don't mind tearing hair out from the root. Once you have had that happen, it sort of heals you from any hair-pulling response to vile words.
But when you say something, or cry, or react in any way to the evil words, you have given the person power. So now I internalize it. Yeah, I can say that none of the words hurt, but that is psychological BS. The words hurt. But you know, now I internalize the hurt, the pain, and so instead of giving the power to the evil-word spew-er, I have an increase chance of a heart attach. Maybe I will have to re-think this internalizing. I hear hair-pulling is aerobic exercise.
1Okay, so I totally made up the hockey thing. Hockey is supposed to be the "new sport." Sort of like soccer was in the 80s. The really cool people know about hockey now. Well, the really cool people and Minnesotans. That's where all the hockey teams are, right?
2I have nothing against Herman Melville, per se. But you can use his books to stop bullets. Think Jackie Chan.
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