Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Adulterers Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous is a support/fellowship group to help them share a common problem. AA was the first 12-step program, and since then, other recovery groups have started or have adopted a similar 12-step program. I have not been through that program, nor do I have a drinking problem.

But I was chatting with someone yesterday, and they joked about AA. But they did not mean Alcoholics Anonymous. They meant Adulterers Anonymous. I had never heard of Adulterers Anonymous, but you know, I googled it, and you know, there is such a group. I had heard of Sexaholics Anonymous.

Okay, I don't have any personal experience with this, but you know, I can't imagine sending my husband to Adulterers Anonymous.

Imagine, if you will, the scene.

Several men and women, arranged in a circle, look nervously around. A table oddly arranged in the corner, holds warm coffee and stale cookies. An attractive, thirty-something brunette rises, adjusts her skirt, and states: "My name is Leesa. I am an adulterer. Or is that an adulteress? It has been three days since my last elicit encounter."

After tripping over the adulterer/adulteress terminology1, Ms. Leesa would talk about various and sundry things, her weakness for penises, her drive to please me, et cetera.

Then there would be a break to consume cookies, meet one another in the toilet for a quickie, et cetera.

I just don't think it is wise to get people together who have a weakness for sex in a room, introducing them to one another. You know what I mean? After the meeting, do you want to go out for coffee and a BJ? I mean, come on.

I know that some people are addicted to sex. And some people have problems with remaining faithful. But to get them in a group seems, in some sense comical. I mean, I can see some guys joining the group just to improve their chance of getting laid.


1Adulterer has become, over time, gender neutral.

58 comments:

Mark said...

ooh goody. I get the first comment. Great idea... ;)

Ian Lidster said...

"Admitted I was powerless over screwing people I wasn't supposed to, and my life had become unmanageable."

When I was running a rehab we had a guy who was a sex addict (he said), and used to go to sexual addiction anonymous meetings. And, he admitted his primary motivation was to hear lots of dirty talk and to hopefully get laid a whole bunch.

Good blog. You're back in form, my funny, bright friend.

Ian

~Deb said...

Funny you should bring this up. There's an AA meeting held at this one church that's located right near an Irish pub. I mean, what are the chances of taking that coffee clutch and gearing it towards the local tavern? They're supposed to support one another, but it's so hard when you're with one of your own, I suppose.

AA's for quitters Leesa! Both of them. ;)

LarryLilly said...

No, No, No, here is the actual scene:

Hi, I am Leesa, I am an adulteress.

Hi, I am Leslie, I am the wife of an adulterer..

Pregnant pause.

Leesa: The mans wife I had the affair with was also named Leslie.

Leslie: I know, i am her.

cat fight breaks out, then after a spell, the rest pull the two women apart. After 30 minutes of time-out in opposite corners of the room, you two are allowed back to join with the rest.

Moderator: Well, that was a nice beginning. Any others have a similar experience to share?

Yeah, not a good idea. LOL

RWA said...

That is an interesting topic. It would seem a bit difficult to control a situation like that, huh?

Of course, several months ago, a friend was in town, and we went to a local sports bar to have a few beers and eat. There was a large group - 30 or so - in there together. We noticed none of them were drinking.

My friend asked our waitress if they were in AA (the alcohol one) - and she said yes. We asked if she was kidding, and she said no.

So I guess if alcoholics can meet in a bar, adulterers can meet in mixed company?

T said...

Interesting post... Sounds like a new dating service to me. My city neighborhood seems to be a Mecca for AA meetings (the alcohol ones). most are holding a cigarette and a cup of coffee.
Just imagine what the other AA (the adulterers one)might be holding onto. Hmmmm.....
T

Leesa said...

mark: thanks, sweetie.

ian: not in fine form yet.

~deb: AA is for quitters. Funny.

larry: oh, I don't like cat fights. Not at all.

rwa: I am sure the real situation is different.

t: yeah, dating service. Hook up place, whatever you want to call it.

Jason said...

Kinda odd, reading this post after my wife and I had a conversation about a radio show she listens to where some guy's wife had an "emotional friend." The discussion basically says women are not the fairer sex. In fact, also according to my wife, she feels women are even more dastardly when it comes to fidelity then men are.

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Anonymous said...

your comments are interesting but I am struggling to see the purpose of them? I think your highset intention is to protect Adulterers and adultereses from situations where they could cause themselves more pain?If that is so, the irony is the war of the mind and self harming that results from the thoughts that lead to the action , that harms not only the individuals involved in the lie but all those around them is not very funny!
The lie that I am talking about is the deepest rooted one that causes all the behaviour on the surface...that is, the belief that the relationship entered into will give a sense of fullfillment or satisfaction that cannot be achieved in some other way...its a trick and a lie and a dead end just like any other addictive behaviour. Whilst the person is imprisoned there they will struggle to let go because inevitably there is some gain but compared to the losses! By sharing their story openly and honestly they can take that important step in their self awareness and disempower the secrecy element.My only concern then for an AA group would be that it is run by someone who knows how to love unconditionally, can provide a safe emotional environment and avoids judgement and condemnation..and seeks to understand. Then those who have come for help can learn how to love and respect all parts of themselves.

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