Monday, June 18, 2007

They Call Me Mrs Tibbs

The Mrs.
Last week, my husband referred to me as "The Mrs." This is the first time he ever referred to me in this way. As soon as he did it, however, he knew it was a mistake. His buddy, on seeing my stare, simply said, "If looks could kill." Yeah, I was a bit pissed.

I sort of thought I was in a 1950's Black and White Situation Comedy. San apron.

After my freshman year in college, I came back to work a summer job. With all summer jobs, I seemed to have a lot of free time. I went to a movie with some friends, and while I cannot remember the movie, I can remember purchasing the tickets. You see, the girl who sold me the ticket called me "Miss." That was the first time someone called me that. I was 19 and felt 29. Er, not really what I wanted to feel at the time.

Another summer-time memory.

I was finished with school, working an "entry level job." It was the summer, and I was laying out at a public pool.

The sun was hot, I had my shades on and tanning lotion. Not sun screen (which now is all that I wear). I was laying out, my book under the reclined patio furniture, and I was just half-thinking and half-listening to my surroundings.

In such a state, it is amazing what you can hear. You can eavesdrop on conversations from across the pool at times is there are not too many people in the pool playing loud games, that is. And sometimes, when there is chatter, it is actually easier to listen to conversations.

Well, there were two teenage boys sitting and talking about the girls and women they were watching. One would ask about one by describing her suit and or location, and the other would rate the woman. Sort of a beauty pageant without the talent competition and sashes with locations written on them.

I don't remember my rating (okay, an 8, but there were several 9s near me), but I do remember one saying something about "that lady." I am in my mid-twenties and have already been labeled a lady. Woman sounds so much younger than lady, though that categorization no longer bothers me.

When I was in school, I thought I would have never wanted to be called Mrs. So-and so. For the title of this blog entry, I chose to use Mrs. Tibbs (I have never seen In the Heat of the Night, but I have always liked Sidney Poitier).

But you know, I felt a bit like a grown-up when called Mrs. Tibbs. I felt like I was not a kid anymore, but I did not feel old. You can be married and be sexy. You can be married and be young. Words have a certain aura about them, and I have never really been bothered by Mrs. Miss and lady, when I first heard them, were a shock. And I would have never guessed that.


Ian Lidster said...

I was once lying on a beach in Waikiki a number of years ago, idly perusing the scene. Lying a little distance from me was a gorgeous young 'California Blonde' type in a bitsy bikini who was very pleasing to the eye and whatever idle fantasies she inspired. I then went back to my book. A few minutes later I was aware that somebody was standing above me. It was the same lovely female. "Excuse me, 'Sir' but my friend and I are going swimming, would you mind watching our stuff?" I not only felt 70 years old due to the 'sir', but was also chagrined that I looked so damn trustworthy rather than roguish. Damn!
So, I understand what you are saying.

LarryLilly said...


He didnt call you his "old lady"
He didnt call you "Wench"
He didnt call you the "Queen Bitch"

So whats the problem? You are what he called you, and besides, when your at the age you are now, being called is better than being ignored.

(Boy, am I glad there is distance here, and she cant slap me on side of the head LOL)

Prata said...

Larry lol you're so right though. Leesa, you are a Mrs. You're the Mrs. "husband's last name here" without him speaking your last name for the sake of being repetitive. His friend already knows his last name.

The Mrs. is not an insult. Women get worked up about some of the oddest things lol. He didn't call you out of your name or anything. *chuckles* Didn't we have a discussion like this once before, about being upset over minutia?

I think so! Now had he said, "Oh, and here's my bitch." Well then yah. Deep breaths. ^_^

kathi said...

Wait until you hear ma'am...that's the one that hit's you.

RWA said...

Oh, come on. Don't get started on "ma'am." At least here in the South, that's respect.

I even say "ma'am" to the waitresses at the restaurant - and some of them are young enough to be my kid.

Dr. Deb said...

I dislike when I am called "Ma'am". That one really gets me!

kathi said...

rwa ~ I'm in Texas...doesn't get a lot more south than here. I think maybe women look at being called "ma'am" a tad bit more differently than men think we do. It doesn't offend me...just makes me feel old.

Kat said...

I still cringe when people call me Mrs. But at least he didn't call you "the old ball and chain" or "my better half"...

Leesa said...

ian: sorry, sweetie, to think she may have offered an indecent proposal and then being the upstanding citizen.

larry: not sure how to respond ...

prata: just having him do it was weird. I am fine with Mrs. So-and-so. Now, at least.

kathi: ma'am doesn't bother me. They use it a lot around here, even for young girls in party dresses.

rwa: yeah, I give the "ma'am"ers a pass. It is just part of where I live.

dr. ~deb: I don't like being called biotch. Or however else it is spelled.

kathi: Texas is more southern than Georgia (closer to the equator). But Georgia seems more "southern." Georgia, Alabama, Missisippi and Louisiana. Florida is more to the south but it does not seem "southern." Hard to explain.

kat: I cringe when people call me "Mrs. Butt." (extra t)

JD said...

actually, beyond a certain age, i start to wonder if someone isn't a Mrs. now i do have some very cool single friends, but i consider them the exception. then again sometimes it's stranger to be Mrs x 3, or Mr x 3 (i.e. married several times).

and i still feel like a teenager sometimes, not grown up at all. ;)