Monday, June 11, 2007

The Church of Hot Chicks

Okay, Sunday, I was sitting in Church1, and we were running a little late. I don't know about your church, but in my church the woman generally picks the seat. Yeah, men make more money, but women get to pick out the china and decide where to sit at church. Well, Sunday, we were running late and the only seats near our normal seat was directly behind the hot twins.

I don't know about your church, but our church has some twins – they are college age (I am assuming, as they show up in mid-May and are gone by August), they are blond, and one always wears a top that shows off her tattoo located on the small of her back. We don't talk about it, but you can tell that women avoid sitting their husbands right in front of these two Catholic girls.

Trouble is, in the summer, women wear more revealing clothing, And it is not to tempt the men in church. It is because it is getting warmer, and women want to look attractive. I can tell you nearly all women don't want men to leer at them at church. That is just a bit gross. Not sure how I came to this conclusion.

But our local Catholic church not only has hot chicks. It has one man, I don't know his name, who looks like a movie director. He is probably 60 years old, fit and wears cool shades, even in church. He dresses dapper, and he moves really elegantly. I swear, when he gets communion, he looks like the director from a movie just popping in to get salvation and then back to the back lot2.

Then I look in another direction of the chapel, of the church, and I see a family with two sets of twins. Two boys, exact copies of one another, and two girls, another carbon copy of one another. The boys are older, but all four look like they are the same height. So even though I know these kids are two sets of twins, they look, sort of, like they are part of quadruplets. And they get a lot of second looks. Mom is the only one who goes to Mass. Not sure where Dad is.

You know, I started this with just telling you about a fellow Catholic or two, but now I know, Christians – and, yes, Catholics are Christians – come in all shapes and sizes. Some are hot, some are mysterious and aloof, some are parts of large families, and some have no children. But we meet, once a week, and we pray together.

When two are more are gathered . . . . even when two are hot college chicks.

1The Catholic Church usually capitalizes the "C", but for the sake of a cleaner looking blog entry, I will not capitalize it.

2I don't know what a back lot is, but it is really movie-related.

13 comments:

LarryLilly said...

During my church years, before I found God, I was associated with Southern baptist, then Non-denominational baptist churches AMEN, Can I have a Sweet Jesus!, Sweet Jesus,Thank you.

These churches AMEN, Can I have a Sweet Jesus!, Sweet Jesus,Thank you! did not have anything that resembled Catholic Churches in as much womans wear is concerned. Modesty in some of these churches AMEN, Can I have a Sweet Jesus!, Sweet Jesus,Thank you! was not present that much. It was not like Saturday night, but it sure wasnt Sunday Morning at St Pius the X church in Scarsdale NY.

It was as much as one upmanship fashion as you could get without revealing too much cleavage AMEN, Can I have a Sweet Jesus!, Sweet Jesus,Thank you!

I hear ya sister Leesa AMEN, Can I have a Sweet Jesus!, Sweet Jesus,Thank you!

RWA said...

So what do these hot, blonde twins wear to church (or is it Church?) when the weather is warm?

Just kidding.

I don't really want to know.

LarryLilly said...

I had a major faux paux back in those days. I was a greeter at the front door, saying hello to members, and asking new people if they had any questions, sunday school for the rug rats etc. One time, these two lovely high school aged girls came in, one wearing a low, below calf skirt, with a white flowery thing under it, showing about an inch below the skirt. My wife didnt dress like that, I was a fashion MIA when it came to teen dress, but to me it looked like a slip that slipped down lower than where it should be. I pointed this out to her, thinking I saved her from certain embarrassment, only to turn beet red myself when she told me that was the way it was supposed to look.

Pyth0s said...

I just want to see a picture of these blonds now :(

Pittchick said...

I think people wear less clothes in church, because quite a few Catholic churches still don't have AC. Those stained glass windows aren't really letting in a lot of frsh air on most occassions.

I had a crush on a hot priest at my parish. He's no longer a priest. He got married. Just not to me.

Video X said...

as long as they aren't "muffin tops", i don't mind the more revealing clothing. but i dont do it myself. i just don't get what the deal is with the lust for MUFFIN TOPS these days!!!

kathi said...

Uhhhhmmmmmm, huh. :)

T said...

At least I know I'm not going to be the only one burning in hell. The dapper sixty year old is only wearing the cool shades to watch the twins. My wife and I attend mass at a chapel on a college campus near us.... multiply twins a few times over.
Really enjoyed the post.

Jason said...

From my experience it is usually the girls going to church are the wilder ones.

Leesa said...

larry: there seemed to be more modesty in churches when I was growing up.

rwa: their clothing reveals their tats.

larry: my husband used to tell girls that they had two piercings on their ears, back when multiple ear piercings were rare.

pyth0s: I think it would have been in bad form for me to whip out my camera phone and take a pic of these two.

pitt: I knew a nun who left the Church and got married (sort of). A lesbian relationship. And I have known hot priests.

VX: muffin tops? I had to look that one up.

kathi: speachless?

t: thanks, sweetie.

jason: they are the ones who need saving most, perhaps?

~Deb said...

I have to go to church more often, huh?

RWA said...

Is it bad for your tattoos to show in Church?

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