You know, the best thing my father ever did was believe in me. From the bottom of my heart, I know he always thinks the best of me. I have said this before but it bears repeating: when I was married, I have no doubt in my mind that my father thought I was the perfect bride. That I had my degree, that I chose the marriage for myself and my future, and yes, he thought I was a virgin. And you know, people at the wedding could have said definitively otherwise.
When I had my first speaking role in school, he came early to be in the front row to cheer me on, to applaud loudly at each act, and to be the best Dad in the audience. At the time, I did not know how much of a sacrifice this is – that is, for him to arrive early and sit. Dad doesn't like wasting time, standing in line, waiting for a curtain to draw. He wants to use every spare minute of the day, and he sat for probably half-an-hour before a forth grade production. Just call him super-Dad.
Anyway, Sunday is his day, and I need to remember that. Fatherhood does not end when one goes to college, when one gets married, when one moves to another city.
Well, I don't really feel like writing today. Oh, and sorry for the delay in posting. I was reading The Pool. I have not finished it – I am scatter-brained today, but the language is wonderful. It is rich and detailed. It is wonderful. This is the way to write.
Me, I am scatter-brained today, and I want so much to write detailed, rich entries about my father, about fathers in general.
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7 comments:
Leesa, I hope your dad is still alive, and that you tell him how much he meant to you.
My dad didnt have much time for me, he was always traveling, flying to cities from NYC back in the 50's and 60's. He was a member of the United 500,000 mile club back when they used to give out certificates instead of flying benefits. Our time together used to be once or twice a year him taking me to a Yankee ballgame. But I always knew that while he didnt have direct control over my day to day life, he provided guidance before I really had a need for it. Planted seeds of life in me, and invariably it was some nugget I found I needed about a month or so after he gave it to me.
He gave me much in dissecting the whys of what people do. He was a salesman, but could have been a psychologist. I find I have a lot of his insight and i am sure its because of that. He was a D-day vet, another quiet man that did his job, even though no one ever had to ask him to do it.
His memory will always be special to me.
I'm right there with you...I feel like I've been away from my blog for ages!
I'm sure that even what you call a scatter-brained entry has started alot of thinking about fathers in those of us that read your posts. It took me a long time to realize how much I loved my father and how he loved all of us. A complex man living a simple life. We hardly ever sat together and talked and I always hated it that we had no close relationship. Now when I think back and I talk to my sons about him, I know how much he cared in his own way. He truly led by example and not words. He taught he seven children to always be fair and honest, work hard for what you want and don't complain because ther is always someone worse off than you..... A strong man and a tough man taken away too early. I hope your Dad is still arounf to call "SuperDad". Thanks for the thoughts.
T
p.s. Somethng to be said for mirrored glasses at the pool.
Leesa..
I believe in you too but Im not your dad and stuff.
It may not be as "detailed" or "rich" as you would like, but I think it was very good.
You were very blessed to have such a dad, and I'm sure he feels blessed to have you.
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