Friday, December 01, 2006

Warm Soda

Okay, this morning I had nothing to write about. Not a damn thing.

Then, I went to the soda machine down the hall, inserted my dollar and got a warm cola. And getting a warm cola frosts my hiney. Instead of a frosted hiney, I want a frosted cola.

I mean, when I see a cola machine (I would say Coke® machine, but I really don't want to get sued by Pepsi, Coke, or whomever else wants to sue my frozen ass) and it is plugged into a wall, I expect a cold soda. I mean, a 20 ounce cola costs $1, and I figure part of that cost is because it is cold and on demand. For about $3, I could get a six pack (warm) and stick them under my desk. And those sodas would really be "on demand." I would not even have to go down the hall.

So here I have a warm soda – no warning on the machine, no discount. There are refrigerators that can tell you that you don't have milk, but a soda machine can't tell you that they have warm sodas. I guess that's because the soda machine's job is to sell its sodas, and it is a whole lot harder to hawk sodas when they are warm. I wonder if they drink warm soda in Europe (sort of like warm beer).

Anyway, I got so steamed that I call the 800 number on the side of the machine. On the plus side, the steaminess thawed out my ass. On the negative side, the guy asks for the account number associated with the soda machine. After painfully explaining that I am a customer, not a vendor, the cheerful person informs me that she cannot do anything for me, a lowly customer. If I had the account number, she could direct me to another phone number where I could register a complaint.

About now, I am thinking one of those mini-refrigerators are looking darned good. Instead of only including soda in the machine, I may need to keep a spare beer or two. For days like this one.

End note: did you know that a hinny was "the hybrid animal produced when a female ass (jennet) is crossed to an older smaller stallion." You learn something new with spell-check.


Prata said...

I only drink warm soda.

LarryLilly said...

Read my blog/rant, then chill out

like you, I have my caffeine fix with soda, but i have an endless supply of ice, so i dump two dews into a giant quart mug, what my wife calls, a personnel potty, and enjoy it all day.

i like cold drinks, the colder the better, almost to the point of slush. Ice cold ginger ale is the baest, slussghy ginger ale.

i know, I am wierd.

sue me!


Prata said...

I am a victim of not having electricity. But I found the best fucking project out there. I don't think many of your readers have the ability to help with it, but I think that if you know technically capable people, you should definitely point them toward this project. I will post about it as soon as my electricity comes back and I can bring my web/ftp server back up.

Tony said...

I like my milk with ice in it. I like my dark beer warm. If I mix the two the ice melts too quickly and it tastes a little watery.

Anonymous said...

I like Ginger Ale with my Rye

Tonic with my Vodka

Red Bull with J.D.

That's as far as soda affects my life.

Leesa my beautiful dear. I think what you require is this :)

It's mini, it's cute and it's Cold :)

And if you ever have a frozen butt problem again, please let me know and I'll volunteer to cure that nasty illness!



Leesa said...

Funny you mention this. Everytime we go into the big city for shopping, I grab a soda out of one of the fridges for the drive home.
I never fails that they are warm.
Quite annoying.

QUASAR9 said...

"I wonder if they drink warm soda in Europe (sort of like warm beer).

Nope, you can bet your frosted hiney and your frosted ass that if the drinks machine don't roll out cold cand we get just as peed off.
Even those syrup dispensers in pubs are chilled as is most beer. Warm beer drinkers are a pretty exclusive club who generally belong to CAMRA campaign for Real Ale (ale the real english beer) not lager like those krauts. lol!

But this is old shop, people in England now drink more wine or lager than english beer - and even Guinness and traditional beers are sold 'chilled' in pubs, now!
I'm sure you really really didn't want to know all this - but just to finish I'm from the generation who created Club Med, and I don't care which pub I'm in, oe in which country, I want bucket loads of ice with my cold drink in a glass - or I'll send it back.

It might have something to do with my marketing beer & ice in my younger days
I want to know where you get your beer and ice from - and I tried marketing "crystal" pepsi - but mu heart wasn't really into that one

Rather market "Kaliber" or alcohol free lager - lol!

alphawoman said...

I work in this crummy industry and that person should have asked for the address, phone number etc and easily could have pulled up the account. We refer to it as customer no-service. I apologize for it all day long to my affected customers. After nearly 10 years with this company, if my husband gets transferred again, I'm seeking employment in another industry. Sorry about your ramdom s**t luck with the operator.
(p.s. we don't sue...we get sued)

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

I think that could have sent me over the edge today.

KYCM said...

As in crossing a "Jack" (Male Donkey) with a "Mare" (Female Horse) produces a Mule. Being a little weird I can drink my diet Mt. Dew or Diet A&W Root Beer at most any tempature, other than very hot. Might that make me a Jackass.....How I wish. Then I would be "Oh so hung". Not quite the current case, so it's Quality over Quantity if/when I get lucky.
Wishes I was hung and quality ;-)))

Thanks Leesa.....Happy Weekend!!

GW Mush said...

only in america would a warm can of pop become a crisis, hehe

Anonymous said...

Well, hopefully your company that you work for doesn't blow a circuit because you brought in a mini fridge to cool your sodas...........(or beer in my case...) They stick it to me because I sneak in a space heater every once in a while.......

B A S T A R D S!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

(And of course Say It Hot had to use my computer!!!!) It's Deb... I used her acct and can't get out of it. I'm stuck in someone else's identity!

H E L P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I look so different.

Anonymous said...

She needs to change that picture.... Jis sayin'. ha! She's gonna kill me.

~Deb said...

Much better....ahhhh.....I feel like myself again.

Dwardisimo Rex said...

I like moist cake.

Edge said...

I have a mini fridge in my office at work. Love it. My wife's school district banned them to save on electricity costs. It has a special coke dispencer slot. It holds 6 cans. I love it, did I mention that? Well worth the money. If there is a college nearby, see if anyone is getting rid of one at the end of semesters. You can get them cheap.


kathi said...

I hate that too...or when I go into the store and get one out of the cooler and it's room temp...

Every teachers room usually has a mini fridge, and I appreciate that.

deb ~ I dunno, I kind of liked the new look on you! LOL.

Anonymous said...

I am glad you are supporting our chemical industry by buying soda...*L*

Get the mini frig. They are cheap and you can ice your vodka too.....

Leesa said...

prata: I sometime wonder about you.

larry: when I was a little girl, really cold soda was wonderful. Now, it just gives me a cold headache.

tony: I had an aunt that put ice in milk. I remember I did not like it.

pyth0s: you have a list!

leesa: we could be sisters.

quasar: I forget you are "over there."

alphawoman: thanks for the insite.

gw: good point.

~deb: too funny.

edge: they won't let me have one. No mini frige, no television. Those are the rules.

kathi: thanks for the comment.

mal: my kind of woman!