Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Forced Promotion

Okay, you know I am fairly guarded about my personal life. Well, sort of. I mean, I have talked about my infidelity and my love for sappy movies, but you know, that hardly singles me out in Savannah.

I have been very vague about where I work, choosing to say I am an admin assistant. Well, that was true until a couple of months ago. Here is the conversation that allowed me to move up the corporate ladder. Mind you, I am still admin – meaning I just shuffle papers, adding little to the bottom line of the company. And no, I am not in government service. We have a few people around here that actually produce stuff of value.

Anyway, here is the conversation, more or less:

Boss asks me to his office, and I first think I did something wrong. Perhaps he found out about my blogging.

Boss: I have been really impressed with the quality of your work.
What Boss was Thinking: I am so magnanimous. I am doing this Leesa chick a big favor. What does magnanimous mean? Does it mean I am cool? Crap, I wish I would have listened when I was taking Freshman English. Crap, I better start listening.

Leesa: Thank you.
What Leesa was Thinking: Does he really know what I do around here? Maybe he is a bigger idiot than I though he was.

Boss: We are restructuring, and we have created a new position I think would be perfect for you.
What Boss was Thinking: Leesa has really nice boobs. I wonder if they are real. I bet she had a boob job. Crap, I better start listening again. Boobies.

Leesa: While I am flattered, I am not really interested.
What Leesa was Thinking: Lots more work for a little more pay. No thank you.

Boss: I am so happy to hear that you will accept this position.
What Boss was Thinking: She does not look pleased at this opportunity. Well, her bobbies are nice. Yeah, nice.

Leesa: Sir, I don't want the promotion. I am happy right where I am.
What Leesa was Thinking: What the fuck? Was he just looking at my breasts? He is so clueless.

Boss: Sorry. You don't want to move up in this company? I don't quite understand. We will pay you for the extra work.
What Boss was Thinking: Crapola. I need to get my mind in the game. What is this bitch's problem? Yeah, she has nice boobies, but she doesn't want to advance. Why the hell not?

Leesa: Sir, I am extremely happy with what I currently do. I am comfortable with my job, and as you have said, I do it well.
What Leesa was Thinking: Try to back me out of this corner, bitch. Slam dunk. Should I have referred to him as bitch? Looks like I will need extra time in the confessional.

Boss: Perhaps you don't understand. We are eliminating your current job, and I am offering you a different job that takes some of your current responsibilities and adds to them.
What Boss was Thinking: I am impressed with my own words. That was fuckin' awesome.

Leesa: Oh, I understand. In that case, I accept your offer.
What Leesa was Thinking: I hate looking for work. I hate looking for work. I hate looking for work.

So I got my pain-in-the-ass promotion. Yeah, it means more money and I don't clock in and out, but I have to actually do work sometimes. I have to go to meetings, I wear a lot more skirts. Hell, I even wear perfume. What the hell have I gotten myself into?


Anonymous said...

OH NOOOooooooooooooo.........

and yeah you do have nice boobies,,got em, flaunt em!

Seriously, you are an exempt employee now? Pay attention to "job push" which will find you putting in more hours. It is a dirty trick played on salary personnel.

~Deb said...

Hmmm, well I personally think you're very fortunate for your boss promoting you, instead of laying you off due to the job ending. But, I think along the same lines, once you take the job- it's yours forever with more work... Thankfully with more pay though!

Bruce said...

Unwanted promotions suck, no doubt about it. Something similar happened to me several years ago in my last job. In my instance, though, it was a test to see if they could break me, and force me out(seriously). I fooled them, and lasted another five years. Hang in there, Leesa.

KYCM said...

Considering the option, Congratulations on the "forced" Promotion. You apparently like the company and the boss/they apparently like your work too. I can understand your lovely features (BOOBS) playing a part in it, but that would be so very sexist. Noting your bloggage, rest assured it is your fine work that got you the upgrade. I know a hint of your perfume's aroma and seeing you in a skirt, will surely please anyone in the office. I'd just love to see you in the skirts and to see your boobs....I never have. I think Deb would like to as well. ;-)

Hugssssssssss Leesa,
KYCM - Short Fan

Leesa said...

mal: yeah, I guess I am an exempt employee with the heart of a non-exempt employee.

~deb: I think he wanted to force me to take the job.

bruce: I don't think they want to force me out; I just think they want me to do more.

kycm: the boobies comments were just for fun. I think they wanted me for something more, and I really did not want to do it.

Prata said...

Learn to delegate WHATEVER you can, becuase they will suck you frakkin' dry there. Seriously. Salary exempt employees take it in the ass. I ought to know, I've worked salary exempt my whole frakkin' career. Well save for that one stint I did in the government. That was a little different.

QUASAR9 said...

Hi Leesa,
your boss just phoned me up
says he's read this post ...
and confirms that while he thinks your boobs are nice (and real)
he really gave you the job because you deserve it, he likes having you around at meetings, likes your skirsts and wants to know what's that perfume you are wearing.

PS - Whilst he thinks you are hot, he does not hit on his employees, well he does flirt with women, but he is quite faithful to his wife and happy with his lot

luvwannabefree25 said...

the moral of the story... men are pigs.. and you got a raise... congrats....

JD ;)

Zibi said...

I don't think it will be that bad ... I could do with a promotion and the extra cash.

Pyth0s said...

More Money,
More BullS**T,
More corporate Mumbo Jumbo,

No matter how you look at it, we need the money to survive and only a VERY small % of the world actually enjoys what they do for a living. I have one key line I use to remind myself to keep trucking along. And here it is. (Please use this line at your own risk)

Quote: "It's better than sucking cock in Singapore"

So the next time you feel down about your work or anything, just ring this line in your head and you'll suddenly feel good again :)



Leesa said...

prata: I am just going to drink coffee and pee now that I am an Exempt Employee.

quasar: thanks for the advice.

jd: men are pigs? I will have to write that one down.

zibi: just a funny way of looking at it.

pyth0s: er, now I will have that cock in singapore line in my brain. Ew!

J R Estelle said...

Well...look at it this way. If they eliminated your current position, but opened this one up for you, then clearly they want to keep you. So, it's more work, a little more pay, it's a job, you know.

Tony said...


I'm happy for you. I think you'll do just as well, if not better at your new role.

squire said...

Dang all I just got was a new truck. Guess my "boobs" aren't as nice as yours.

Yabu said...

Reality...plain and simple.