Monday, November 27, 2006

Regressing to the Children's Table

With many gatherings as I was growing up, I was relegated to the children's table (or kids' table). Well, I was a child, after all. Even in college, I was a member of the kid's table. Even before I knew what a tryptophan-induced coma was, I was sitting at the kiddie table.

Part of the reason I did not graduate to the adult table was that I was one of the older cousins and none of the cousins were having kiddies of their own, even though cousin Robert was doing everything in his power to impregnate his entire high school senior class. Robert was, and is, a man slut. He once told me that he thought women were only meant to be play toys of his, and, well, he treated them that way. In fact, he still treats them, more or less, that way.

Back to my children's table at Thanksgiving. This year I went back to the children's table. We did not have enough room at the adult table, and since I am the most petite adult, I was relegated to the kiddie table.

So I spent the evening, listening to small children argue about who was older than whom. I, by the way, was a heck of a lot older than the rest of the children, and so I won every argument. Other than the lack of sparkling conversation, I also did not get some of the sides – no salad was at the kiddie table, and thankfully, the cranberries that looked like Jello® was on our table (instead of the cranberries that looked like cranberries). I also had to go to the big person table for my yearly supply of ham (two bites, but religiously, I eat two bites of ham per year).

One good thing about the kiddies table is that this table gets desert first – and if you want chocolate pie, the odds are against having chocolate pie at the adult's table (the kids decimate the chocolate pies).

I am a bit hungover today. Not from alcohol, but from the long weekend.

Happy Monday, you people!


Leesa said...

I want to be at the chocolate pie table!

Anonymous said...

chocolate pie? I would sit at the kiddy table too!!! Besides, you do not have to compete for the wine.

kathi said...

You're gonna hate me for this, but even as much as I love chocolate pie, I detest little kids more. I'd rather have had my dinner sitting on the toilet than at the little kids table. Fortunately they grow up into wonderful teens. :)

GW Mush said...

Leesa, Im waiting for erotic stories and chocolate pie.

QUASAR9 said...

Two bites of ham a year
You rebel
So, you not an orthodox jewess or muslim. lol! - or was it turkey ham

Funny, though if salad and greens are so natural why are human children so 'not' turned on by salads and veg ...
conditioning in the womb?
passed on from generation to generation in the jeans?

or is it just that sausages, chocolate and even french stick bread has that yummy quality about

I reckon even kids would love Linda Mccartneys veggie sausages - when they are cold they are no different to turkey sausages, or beef sausages or pork sausages.

Doesn't quite work with burgers, kids know straight away you are trying to slip one past them

Pizza is the answer, you can have vegetarian pizza with lots of cheese and coloured toppings, linda macartney sausages - and your kids would never know you are trying to vegetarianize them. lol!

LarryLilly said...

I would like the chocolate cake. We only ever had canolli's and halvah, but both were chocolate dipped!

We didnt have the kiddie table, coming from a large Eye-Talin family we had a HUGE table, with more wings than an air force squadron. But the kids had to share a single quart of egg nog. the adults drank a gallon of it liberally spiked with enough brandy to make the room smell of a distillery, but the kids got a single quart. And I was the youngest, so I was lucky to get a small glass. So when i was about 12, I snuck several glasses out of the adult gallon. I spent that turkey day sleeping off a kiddie hangover instead of having turkey. LOL.

Leesa said...

leesa: there is room for one more petite ass at the table! And I would not want you at the adult table - hubbie would not be able to take his eyes off you. Damn red hair and all.

mal: I actually had a bottle at my table all to myself.

kathi: I could never hate you.

gw: I forgot about the stories.

quasar: I thought our ancestors were more fruit-eaters than vegetarians.

larry: a different type of Turkey day, to be sure. And I am not into egg nog, but I remember having wine as a child at Thanksgiving and Christmas. And New Years. And Groundhogs day. I was a lush!

QUASAR9 said...

lol! Well I don't know who your ancestors were - but mine come from the fish eating tradition.

PS - It is curious though that the 'strongest' land animals the elephant & silver back gorilla are vegetarian -
not even meet eating lions, tigers or cheetahs - would take them on ONE on ONE, or mano a mano