Speed Dating - Finding a Spark

I was already married before speed dating started, and it is a shame – because it sounds like a hoot. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, the rules of speed dating are quite simple. A group of singles gathers at a café, restaurant or similar public venue. Armed with a nametag, a scorecard and their sparkling personality, couples are paired up to begin their first speed date. They are allowed to discuss anything, except their careers, or where the live. The career part is obvious – to protect men from boring their speed dates. Where they live is also obvious – to protect the women from getting voodoo dolls in the mail.

Following several minutes of conversation (always the same number of minutes, but the numbers vary from place to place – I have heard of 5, 7, and 8 minutes), a bell is rung, and the men move on to meet their next date. I know, it sounds a bit contrived – and it reminds me of square dancing in school or musical chairs without the music, the chairs or – well, maybe it doesn't remind me of musical chairs.

Following each date, participants mark on a card whether they would have an interest in meeting their date again. If a mutual interest is noted, speed-dating organizers provide each party with the other's phone number. Now I can here detractors – men, mostly, thinking this is a way women have contrived for rejecting many men on a given evening. Somehow, I don't think this is the point.

The point – and I am guessing here – is that we sort of know when a spark is present. Why waste a whole evening eating a small amount of food (from the woman's point of view – you know, so the men don't think you are a piggie), taking about idle chatter, when there is no spark. I think there is something we sense that makes a connection much faster than thinking about why we like someone. Same thing goes with creeps. If someone makes your skin crawl, but you can't really put your finger on it, please step out of the elevator, or whatever, to make sure you are safe. What does Oprah say? "When you see crazy walking your way, cross the street." Same sort of thing.

And before you ask, yes, hubbie and I had that spark when we first met. But I politely ate a heck of a lot of small meals – "yes, I will have the salad/pasta" – and endured a lot of chatter to finally bump into Mr. Right. I mean, we can't all blog and find that special someone, a la ~deb and mike. It just does not work that way for us mere mortals. Side note: I have moved ~deb and mike's names near each other on my blog – ain't it so sweet?

Speaking of clicking – and I am not talking about mouse clicks but about knowing if two people would click – I think this spark thing also sometimes happens with e-mail. I get e-mail from a few people (not as many as ~deb, but let's face it, ~deb is mucho hot), and every once in a while, I think, "hottie." I can't put my finger on it (and not in the literal or figurative sense). I just think, "wow." Now I am a good girl, and I try my best not to flirt. Heck, from my last message, you know I can't even masturbate to the thoughts I have. Unless hubbie is out of town – and he doesn't leave all that often.

Perhaps this speed dating doesn't really work – that it is the latest fad. I think companies charge the men for doing this. Who knows, they may charge the women – but I doubt it. Charge the men twice as much and the company is happy. Of course, for lesbian speed dating (if there is such a thing), I guess they would have to have a different fee structure.

Oh, and if you get bored, you may want to read the latest installment of Just Walking. There is an interesting plot twist. The title is Illuminations.

Guess I will be getting back to my masturbation-less e-mail. And some of this mail is hot!