The Evolution of Movies

Okay, if you are either from Kansas or you don't believe in Evolution, click on another site. This entry will infuriate you, and you will comment in such a way as to create illogical arguments or just piss me off. Frankly, life is too short to get pissed off all of the time. So you will be adding to the quality of my and your life if you leave now.

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine was talking about movies. He said something to the effect of "in general, movies are not as good as they used to be." Now, he is a show tunes guy to boot, so his opinion probably is swayed by this as well.

Now, I don't know when movies started out; let's say that for the past 50 years, the technology was good enough so that the movies "looked good." And I am using 50 years because I am going to do math – and I like simple. I know that Snow White was made in 1937, or somewhere near there, so the real date may be more like 70 years or so.

Okay, I have changed my mind. Let's say 70 years – but I want to talk about movies from 70 to 20 years ago. A fifty year period. So for those years in question, let's say you had 4 wonderful movies per year – not hard to do. You have one "must see" movie each quarter of the year. If this small amount of movies were tallied, we would have 200 must see movies for that timeframe. Well, there are only so many hours in a day – week, year – and most of us want to see more current movies anyway (they tend to have more exposed body parts). And speaking of more exposed body parts – have you ever noticed that the only time you have full frontal nudity for men is in art flicks (or porn). I love artsy movies, too. Oh, la la.

Where was I going wit full frontal nudity? Oh, I don't know.

The point I was trying to make before I started thinking of penises is that over time, the only (or most of) movies that seem to survive are really good or really interesting movies. It doesn't mean that the 1950s had better movies (think Elvis movies, please). It is just really bad movies are hopefully forgotten (unless they are really bad – e.g., Istar). It is not that individual movies are evolving (or having sex with each other), but that less than interesting/important movies simply are forgotten.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking – artsy movies. Why do they like showing penises. Well, because that's how they can say, "this is art because little kiddies can't see this." Well, if you are in Europe, they can see it on most beaches. But you get my drift.

And the next question you may have is "what are your favorite frontal nudity movies?" Well, they are usually in Italian or French with subtitles. The one that I remember that was not an artistic film was "Basic Instinct." But I don't know if the legs crossing scene was real. I mean Sharon Stone is a skank, but I think it is the director that makes the final decision. So this could be a fake frontal nudity shot, which is not real good anyway. I guess I can't name any films because the frontal nudity acts as a frontal lobotomy. In a pleasant sort of way.

Oh, and the Kansas thing deals with the Kansas State School Board touting evolution as a grown-up fairy tale. I think that those on the school board need to let their hair down and watch some artsy films.