Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Medical Slang

I was looking something up the other day, and it had a link to Medical Slang in Wikipedia. Okay, whenever I google something and Wikipedia shows up as a link, I click on it.

Well, they had a list of medical slang. It sort of reminded me of other slang – g used the term MILF the other day. That is sort of slang. When I first heard the term MILF, like a dumb ass, I asked what it meant. "Mother's I'd Like to Flirt with" was the answer I was given. Dumb ass me then said, I think the letters don't accurately reflect the phrase. Must have been made by a school teacher who hated prepositions. A fairly religious person told me it was "Mother's I'd Like to Fondle". By then, I had sort of guessed the true meaning of the word.

The only medical slang I have read about is GLM - "good looking mom/mum". Apparently this acronym actually makes it in to the medical record of pediatric patients, and more than one defense attorney has used the acronym to show that the medical professional was "less than professional" during malpractice suits. Really.

Some of the acronyms which are a tad disturbing follow:
  • ATFO - "asked to fuck off", instructed to go away
  • CTD - "circling the drain" (expected to die soon)
  • DBI - "dirt bag index" - a number calculated from number of tattoos and missing teeth
  • TTR - "tooth to tattoo ratio," a synonym of DBI
  • LGFD - "looks good from door"; used to describe a difficult patient that you do not want to enter the room and interact with
  • PBTB - "pine box to bedside"; indicates an imminent demise

What disturbs me a little is that these acronyms give us a peek into what some physicians think of their patients. Most physicians are paid well in the US, and some show real contempt for those less educated than them (that would be almost everyone, by the by).

I like my physician – I don't see her often, but she always seems to treat me well. She is part of an all female practice. That's not why I picked her; she takes the health plan I have, and a co-worker suggested her.

I felt a little funny about going to the same physician as a co-worker. Not that this would happen, but I seemed to feel like the physician would tell the co-worker stuff about me. Again, faulty logic. It happens at the hairdressers, and one subconsciously assumes that the pattern holds.

Sometimes I feel bad for physicians. I mean, sure they make lots of money, people respect them, and they live in large houses. But buxom nurses throw themselves at them, they have to find places to park their money to avoid taxes, and they have to hire house staff. What a freaking bother.


Grant said...

I'd just like to take the opportunity to remind you that my dentist is totally hot and I love her. If she wants to place a note in my chart stating that I am good looking, I promise not to sue.

But, yeah, one of the things that makes her such a great medical professional is that she's not condescending or contemptuous of her patients.

the depressed nurse said...

I'm an RN and I've never seen any abbreviations like these on a chart. I'll have to check out that site. Nurses don't throw themselves at docs either, that's just a myth. Doctors are assholes, who wants to bother with one?

Shannon said...

I am just laughing at the MILF comments.. Mom I'd like to Fugg... gotta love it... I didn't know what it stood for when I first heard it but I do now!! *Shaking head* =)

kathi said...

I can think of few things worse than having to deal with sickness and those who think their sick (waving to deb, lol) every day. I'd rather make my money on the good corners on big money nights.
Your acronyms were too funny!

Lee said...

A pharmacist friend tells me that he received a prescription to fill for a patient that said "ADT, twice daily" or thereabouts. Not recognising the acronym, he rang the doctor, to be told: The woman's just a nuisance, give her any damn thing.

~Deb said...

It's just as bad as those internet cyber lingos and abbreviations---LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFLMAO, STFU, BTW, WTF, OMG, BRB, BBL, TTYL, etc...etc....etc... (etc. being another abbreviation. We're all getting lazy!

L8R! (ha)

Kalani said...

Yeah, I am with Anna on this one. I have never seen any of those abbreviations. Buut I have met a couple of DILF's but for the most part they are assholes.

Boris Yeltsin said...

When my wife went to the OB/GYN for an appointment, we saw the nurses carrying boxes of records out to their cars. The one nurse said, "Sorry - we've shut down - get another OB!" (Keep in mind, this was the day of her appointment!)

The doctor came out and said, "I'm sick of these malpractice premiums. I'm taking over a practice in Indiana where the cost of business is cheaper. Good day!"

kathi said...

deb ~ you forgot my favorite...KMA.

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...


I need to ask my sister about this stupid mess. She is a nurse at a hospital in Atlanta. If she confirms any of this I will definitely share what I hear!

Daniel B. said...

Tooth to Tattoo ratio is pretty darn funny.

I try not to judge people, but sometimes the lilac gets to me.


Leesa said...

grant: nice to have that statement in writing. Perhaps you can sign the "I won't sue you if you call me a hottie" form for her next time you are in her chair.

anna: You said, "I'm an RN and I've never seen any abbreviations like these on a chart." I have never gotten shot at, but just because I have not personally experienced it, people get shot at in Savannah.

shannon: I actually say MILF on your site (I think) one day in the comments.

kathi: amen.

lee: how funny. You know, I have read a few clinical trials articles, and it is amazing how the brain works. Sugar pills sometimes cure!

~deb: You say we are getting lazy, I call it efficiency.

kalina: you have spurred an idea for a post, thanks.

boris: I have heard FL is in need of OBs. Not that I believe this, but I have heard of women renting a place in GA to have their children.

"N" Search of Ecstasy: It appears that these abbreviations are dying out.

daniel: it is hard not to judge people. A cross to bear with me.

Dragonsbane said...

One more medical acronym: AMF YOYO
means Adios mother F****, you're on your own.
My exwife was a doctor, and I hung out with many of her classmates in med school. This phrase was used, along with PBB pine box by bedside.

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