I don't really like golf at all, but I know one thing (reinforced by a picture of Trevor Immelman "flying." I embedded the picture, and all I could think is that song, "I Think I Can Fly". I hate that song, and it is stuck in my head because of a picture of a game that I don't really like. Monday is starting off a bit bad for me.Oh, and you cannot not like golf in Savannah. We are a stone's throw from Hilton Head, SC, and there are probably 5 really good golf courses within an hour from here. Really good is a bit humble – there are world-class golf courses around here. People here love golf. You can't say anything bad about golf in this state. Unless you are an anonymous blogger.
If you know little about golf, I wonder what your impression would be. I mean, you have these (mostly) men, spending tons of money on equipment, greens fees and really bizarre clothes. Then they spend the better part of a Saturday chasing a small white ball around with a stick. If we have visitors from another planet, I hope they don't think golfers are like the rest of us.
Back to the golf picture. The Masters is perhaps the biggest golf tournament in the world, and the winner gets a green jacket. Okay, they get cash and prestige as well, but they present a green jacket to the winner.
I don't know about you, but I think if I won the Masters, I would ask if I could get the jacket in a different color. Or at the award presentation, I can see myself saying, "I don't look good in that shade of green. Can I see something in basic black?" And I think, perhaps, in the media, I would be characterized as less than gracious.
The Masters started in 1934. I imagine in 1934, getting a jacket for winning a golf game must have felt like proper compensation. Many WPA projects were still going on, and the United States was recovering from the biggest depression we ever had.
I am not sure I could play four rounds of golf for a green jacket.
3. My Stories. Yeah, I have a few erotic stories here. I know, they are not all that good, but they were fun to write. Don't read them if this offends you (and they represent less than 1% of the content here). These stories have elements of truth and fantasy, some more true than others. Complain about something that is a bit more substantive if you must complain. I have lots of faults.
15 comments:
I don't think I could play four rounds of golf at all!
The only thing that I can imagine worse than playing golf is watching it on TV.
I could have been a golfing master, but the stupid windmill always trips me up. I did master the ramp into the clown's mouth, however. I'll take Tiger Woods on that hole any day.
Leesa, Leesa, Leesa,
You know not of what you speak. Great golf is as good as great sex.......well.......almost.
I am with Mark Twain...Golf is a good walk ruined.
There are MUCH worse coats to win than a simple green one. We have the Byron Nelson tourney in Dallas, and the winner gets the most butt ass ugly plaid coat. I swear, I wouldnt give it to a homeless man needing a burial suit.
Ya, I'm not a golf fan unless I need a nap and those whispering commentators put me right to sleep. Golf isn't common man enough for me. I played a little and even took a class. Too expensive. All that corporate schmoozing around it. No thanks. It's a Baby Boomer game. I'll take dodge ball or something like it any day.
~Jef
lara: I think there are better things to do in bunkers than use sand wedges.
grant: I hated the holes where you had to bank shots three or four times. I would want to use a wedge and just bypass the darned obsticles. But people don't like balls flying from hole to hole.
annon: Hitting a good golf shot may be as good. I would not know. Never happened to me.
larry: love the quote and the story.
edge: well, people in my office play it, and I swear they get some kind of bonus for it. I am with you, though.
Leesa, you don't understand; this is no ordinaty jacket. It gives it's wearer super powers such as the ability to endure several hours of walking in circles on a lush, green lawn while chasing a litte, white ball.
My father also lives 45 minutes away from Hilton Head (Beaufort, SC) and is a certified golf nut. I myself don't get it.
Mark Twain said that golf was a way of ruining a perfectly decent walk.
Blasphemer!
Ok, I gave up the game early in life, too. It's alright.
Your post makes me smile! I decided against golf based on every day fashion I saw golfers wear. Yikes!
I will play any of you in a set of tennis for a pair of orange pants.
I'm more into put-put golf....giant windmills, huge clown face where you have to get the golf ball into their mouths...stuff like that.
ian: I know Beaufort. I don't travel there on purpose, but I know the place. And I don't get it, either.
ian: I love Mark Twain.
richman: My hidden identity was the only way I could write these things in Georgia.
diane: my kind of woman. "I don't get to wear cute shoes with the outfit, so golf is out."
gw: that cracked me up.
stacy: yeah, I know what you mean.
Actually, to me tennis and golf are such Gatsby sports. I mean, if I am paying to see these sports, I want to have fun. If paying fans are present, allow them to bring boat horns, clackers, cow bells, whatever. Let the blonde twins stand up on cue, flash their "girls", smile and sit down, just as Tiger is lining up his put, or some spoiled kid tennis player is making a game set match serve. Why should they be able to work in QUIET?
If they want quiet, have the venues enclosed in a studio, a Wii version of tennis/golf where the only audience are TV/cable viewers.
Thats my take, I could be wrong!
larry: it would make watching a bit more interesting, if nothing else.
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