Wednesday, August 22, 2007

What, I have to write 400 words today?

Golf Sign: Balls RemovedI love language; I really do. Of course, this may have something to do with me wanting to write.

I sometimes feel, however, that most people are sloppy with their words.

When I was in high school, I loved talking on the phone. I can remember laying on the kitchen floor, receiver glued to my right ear, me yakking away to a girlfriend or a boy about whatever entered my head. I have sometimes wondered if the NSA kept transcripts of our conversations – because if they did, I would like to see them for a laugh. I used expressions like, "it's the bomb" and "radical". I am sure me and my friends were monitored for that type of language.

I have a friend who once said to me on the phone – fairly recently – that he was making a bomb and thought someone should assassinate the president. Then he went on about taxes. I actually was surprised that he is still roaming the street. Well, not completely surprised. He may be dangerous – I get a spooky vibe sometimes – but I knew him before his brains got scattered. I blame his change in personality on weed killer.

The other day, walking in the parking lot for Church, some woman was talking about her umbrella. She said, "My husband has one like yours, and he can't get it up either. I think you have to pull on it a bit." I thought this seventy-year-old woman was talking about erectile dysfunction. So I prayed about it at Church, wondering if God was thinking the same thing. By the way, I believe God has the best sense of humor.

I sometimes get careless with language myself. I sometimes write, "I think this" or "I think that." Obviously, if I am writing something, I probably believe in what I am writing. It would be out of character to write something like, "Little Orange Martians have infiltrated the fashion industry." I mean, tacking on the phrase, "I think …" to the beginning of the phrase just states the obvious. That I believe that.

Come to think of it, saying "states the obvious" or starting a sentence with "obviously" is unnecessary if the statement is obvious.

Wrong way to say the sentence: "Obviously, you think my eyes are situated where my boobies are."

Right way to embarrass the gawker: "You think my eyes are situated where my boobies are."

Me, I obviously don't have anything to write about today.

6 comments:

Ian Lidster said...

The churchgoing umbrella lady story made my day, love. Thank you.

~Deb said...

Obviously....you're an "obvserver" of people and you notice things the avaerage person wouldn't. But, that's the great thing about bloggers as well as comedians---it's in their blood.

You'll always have something to write about...

RWA said...

That's a bit harsh - removing someone balls because they were collecting golf balls on the course without being a player.

Speaking of players, that was very nice and thoughtful for you to pray for that 70-year-old woman's assumed erectile dysfunction issues.

Edge said...

A female coworker yesterday accidentally said, "So all you have to do is put it in my slot?" Of course she was referring to the memory upgrade I was going to perform on her computer, but I appreciated the humor anyway.

~Jef

mal said...

Working on filler are we? *L*

Mom was always harder on me than my brothers regarding my vocabulary and how I used it. I have been told I am an excellent speaker (Toastmasters helped). My brother and I did team debating for a year and it really sharpened both of our verbal skills.

My written skills are another story. I have not had to do that much free style writing over the years. My ability to generate technical papers is solid. Free style has always been a challenge. I am grateful that blogging came along since it has afforded me a venue to improve those skills

and Yup, I am filling space too *L*

Leesa said...

ian: yeah, the churchgoing lady made my day as well.

~deb: I love watching others.

rwa: some take their golf very seriously.

edge: at a previous job, I heard about putting things in slots while referring to mail. Always funny.

mal: regarding filler - sometimes I want to write words but have little to say. Like yesterday.