Monday, April 02, 2007

Sunday: April Fool's Day

I don't think April Fool's Day should be wasted on a Sunday. I mean, the people we want to fool are normally not in Church, at the supermarket, or at the movies.

Church Fool
Woman: Father, I am Catholic and all, but I notice that you don't have confessions at all this week. What happens if I need to go to confession for sins of the flesh? Will someone be available for confessions?
Priest: My child, planning on committing a sin would not be using the confessional for what it is meant for. No, my child, we will not hear confessions this week.
Woman: That is actually a relief. I told my neighbor the only way I would fuck him would be in a confessional, so it looks like this week is looking up.

Obviously that would not be a good use of April Fool's Day.

Supermarket Fools
Woman (to hunky stock boy):I am looking for Iams dogfood. My neighbors dog is keeping me up at night, and I want to get the tainted food.

I think perhaps hunky stock boy may call the police on you.

Movies Fools
Woman sitting alone in crowded theater.
Woman (to man two seats over):Psssss. Could you scratch my breast. It is itching something awful.
Man:Pardon.
Woman (leaning over):My nipple itches and it is driving me crazy. I told my husband that I would not scratch my nipple in public. Would you pplllleaaase scratch it for me?
Man:Er, okay.
Man reaches over to woman's breast.
Before he can scratch her itch, she slaps him.
Woman (in a raised, annoyed voice):Perv.

Again, not a really good April Fool's joke.

At my work, we really like doing stupid stuff for April Fool's. With one clueless person, we simply unplug their computer. It worked two years in a row. We hang streamers from the ceilings, on occasion, but only on the boss' office. We like to do stuff.

So I was majorly (not a word, I know) bummed when I saw that April first fell on the weekend. I mean, that's like having Easter on a Tuesday. I guess I better check my calendar. Who knows what else is screwed up.

11 comments:

Prata said...

Oh I've not been here in a week or more. I've missed a lot of postings. Nice reads. No, really, I meant it. See I know you never believe me when I say it. =-/

Prata said...

Oh..and.......

First bitches...../dance

Ian Lidster said...

A newspaper I worked at used to do killer April Fool stories, and the key to their success is that they had to appear entirely serious. I miss doing those.
The classic of all time is, of course, the BBC 'documentary', presented in an absolutely straightforward manner, about the harvesting of the spaghetti crop from the trees in Northern Italy. Thousands believed them.

Ian

LarryLilly said...

There was a Google april fools joke, about the Toilet Internet Service Provider (TSIP)
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/business/AP-Google-April-Fools.html

Yeah, since Easter is like a pagan holiday, based on the earth and moon cycles, instead of a hard and fast day like December 25 (The first sunday AFTER the first full moon AFTER the spring equinox), go figure, well, they should add the caveat for aprils fool as being the first monday through friday in april.

But what if you work weekends. This way, the horse track workers get something they can do, like feed the horses milk of magnesia, with green dye?

Leesa said...

prata: I wonder where you ran off to.

ian: I sort of wish I was old enough to have seen the BBC documentary first-hand, to see if I would have been fooled. Beakman and Jax actually tried to emulate it in Sunday's comics.

larry: April Fools' day may have a colorful history.

Prata said...

Oh I've been slaving away, babe. As I am posting like right now in my blog! lol

RWA said...

OK, the church one is hilarious. I may go to hell for saying that, and I'm not even Catholic.

Second, my brother found another good computer one. He learned it on YouTube.

You change change the instructions for desktop icons. Apparently, you can make it so that when they click on an icon (ex., Internet Explorer), instead of opening the program, it shuts the computer down.

My brother apparently pulled this one with friends at work on Friday (since April Fools' was on Sunday).

Leesa said...

prata: man, work has swamped me, and I have no idea for a blog entry tomorrow.

rwa: I have heard of that one. I just don't do things (besides unplugging computers or hiding keyboards). Nothing that would look like a virus.

~Deb said...

Cute... I once got slapped doing that in the movies....but ANYWAY............ We used to "slightly" disconnect the cord from the phones at work, so when our friend picked it up to say her long ass greeting, no one was there. We also lotioned up her phone on the inside of the receiver...then called her. We were so mean and imature, and the sad part about it was, it wasn't April Fool's Day!

Leesa said...

~deb: I remember disconnecting chords at home and calling some number that had the operator call back to the number to "test the line." How come that sounds like I am old?

Advizor said...

My favorite April fools joke was on my old job. April 1 fell on a Friday that year, and one of our secretaries put a plastic sandwich bag with a twist tie and the following note, on over 75 desks.

"We will be cleaning out the phone lines over the weekend, please put your hand set inside the bag and seal it with a twist tie to prevent dust from blowing out onto your desk. Thank you, signed the building management. "

I was amazed that over half of the people put a plastic bag around their phone. I'm not sure what they pictured in their mind, perhaps they saw a large air compressor plugged in to the switchboard to blow the "dust" out of the phone system. Of course, Ann, the one who planned the whole thing, had double bagged her phone because she was known as the department neat freak.

I like this prank because it took planning, and she must've come into the office at about 4:00 a.m. to put out the plastic bags because our office opened at 5:30 am. It is still my all-time favorite corporate prank