Chemistry 101

I love storytellers, and I was looking at a blog recently with Storyteller in the title, "Confessions of a Sultry Storyteller". She had an interesting post the other day, that started like this:

Would you rather have great chemistry or great sex? If you had to choose which would you want? I have rarely met a couple that has both.

Which leads me to wonder can one live on great chemistry alone and no sex, or great sex and no chemistry?

I am not sure how to answer the question, though I think it is an interesting question.

When I met my husband, we had chemistry. We had good (not great) sex, but the kissing. Oh, the kissing. It was chemistry.

Now that I have been married for many years (more than 10, rapidly approaching 20), I have had a number of great sexual expenses. The sex has been good, great, and forgettable. And the interesting thing is that there will be weeks that are simply great – two or three wonderful sex sessions in a week. Sex that curls the toes it is so good. And then there will be weeks of "ho hum" sex.

The chemistry is about the same. I still melt when my husband calls me at work. And at other times, I can't wait until he has a business trip so I can soak in a tub and read. His stubble on a Saturday morning can be so wonderful or irritating. It just depends.

The sex turned into great sex, perhaps because my husband learned a bit about me. Perhaps because I changed a bit. Perhaps from a variety of things.

For me, I would rather have chemistry. I know you can learn how to be a better lover, and so that even if the sex is good but not great, you can improve upon it.

Until a few years ago, I would have thought the chemistry part is not learned. It was just the way it is. I don't think that anymore. When I was cheating on my husband, our chemistry had gone. Completely gone, and I figured that's what happens after nearly a decade of marriage. We went to counseling afterwards, and the therapist said that love is an action verb. We can choose to love, and when we do loving things, we start feeling more love. And when that happens, the chemistry seems to have been rekindled. A weird thing.

I get back to the question: would you rather have great chemistry or great sex? Do we really have to choose between the two if we want both?

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On a completely unrelated note, I just notice that word verification is forming many more words than it used to. To make comments on many blogs, there is a word verification. Usually it asks you to type something like this: asdfioqw. Well, I have seen a bunch of words lately. Snacky. Boogers. Riskqe (almost a word). What if aliens have started communicating through word verification and we have not paid attention? The first words were not really well-spelled. What can you expect from aliens, anyway? And not they are learning words. The next thing is sentence structure. I think an alien is using my blog to tell us that they are observing people pick their noses (a booger snack?). If I disappear, blame the aliens.

Random Friday #33

Wonder Woman
I read the other day that people are tossing ideas around concerning a Wonder Woman movie. Megan Fox is one of the names being offered. I have never seen this woman before. Then I looked up the movies she is associated with. The Transformers? Is that really a movie. And the rest of the movies seem to be highlighting her body, not her acting talent (Whore, Jennifer's Body, and some yet to be filmed mermaid movie). I sort of hope Wonder Woman is better than a brunette who has a nice body.

Swing Blade
I never watched Swing Blade (this just did not occur to me - I read something about the actor from Ian earlier in the week). I think it came out at a time I had no money. And by the time I had money, I had seen so many bad BB Thorton impressions I passed on the movie.

Book Bloggers
I saw a post the other day, and it was really interesting. These book bloggers started out with about three visitors per day, and now they are more popular. My blog is not a book blog, but for the first time, I realized that there are different "blog communities." I mean, here are the different flavors I have run across:

1. Book Blogs. I just realized that recently. See above.
2. Mommy Blogs. I avoid those blogs. I am not a mommy, though I want to be one. These are just too painful, a bunch of mommy's complaining because they don't have enough time for baths and the reading of trashy novels.
3. Bitch Blogs. There are a few bloggers, more than a few, that could be called bitches. They are mostly "Sex in the City" chicks. They think they know everything, and occasionally tell the rest of us we are stupid.
4. Erotica Blogs. Self-explanatory. Is that a real word? Not the word erotica, but the other word.
5. Religious blogs. Interestingly, some of these blogs really are close-minded. Sort of like me.
6. Support blogs. People blog about sick children, cancer, all sorts of things. I even follow one of these blogs (a blogger whose child has Williams syndrome), but I do it because the woman is a terrific writer.
7. Military wife's blogs. An interesting sub-culture, and interesting to hear these women's stories.

Anyway, I guess blogging subcultures are interesting.

A Spy in the House of Love
You know, each television show has an episode name. Most of them we don't remember or even think is important. Anyway, Dollhouse's last episode name was A Spy in the House of Love. That name sounded familiar, like it was the name of a book or a play. Well, I googled it and got the name of a book by Anaïs Nin (published in 1954) with the same title. Anyway, the plot of the story seems to have been inspired by the book. Now, I don't imagine the writing for Dollhouse is very good (I doubt it will lack a season, so it will probably be on for five seasons). Perhaps the episode title is some way to play homage to Anaïs Nin. Or perhaps this is another exhibit that points to the fact that most story ideas are recycled, and we have not had an original story in a very long time. My guess is that the writers of this episode were reminded of the book after an episode of The Simpsons (The Ziff Who Came to Dinner).

Members Only
I read other people's profile in blogger, and what frustrates me to no end is that there are blogs that I can't get to because they are for invited guests only. I saw a blogger recently, let's call him Tim. He has a crapload of blogs that he is a member of, and guess what, it is by invitation only. Now I don't know if I want to be invited because I can't see the blog. They may be bad blogs, crappy blogs or good blogs. But I can't tell. Xmichra is another one with an exclusive blog. Who knows, Xmichra may be a doula and this site is full of birthing plans and videos of women having babies. That, I don't want to see. But if it is cool stuff, and let's face it, if we can't see it, it must be cool, I want to see it. I feel like I am 12 years old again, and girls aren't allowed in the treehouse.

Writer's Block
I never have writer's block, but I often have writer's mediocre output disease.

Happy Friday!

Boycotting the News

I wrote a blog entry yesterday about the Tea Party Tax Protest. And I was sort of wondering – why bother? But I have to wonder if I should even pay attention to the news.

I mean, I hear about how the politicians screw things up all of the time. I get mad at them, and perhaps you do as well, but did you notice that we normally get mad at politicians that are not representing us? The Alaskans probably love Senator Stevens (he brings home the bacon), but the rest of us see him as why our government does not work, you know, because he wants to build a bridge to nowhere. So if I pay attention to the news, I get pissed at other people's representatives, and I have little recourse to get them out of office (other than training with and using a high-powered rifle, but I just don't have the time to train to because a sharpshooter; plus it is illegal and goes against the teachings of the Church, unless you are talking about the Crusades, and then you could kill infidels after torturing them and chanting from Psalms).

And if I start listening to other news, it just gets me more pissed.

I mean, here is a sample of recent news items:

From Reuters UK: U.S. agents seize suspected Nazi guard. Apparently some 89-year-old guy may have been a Nazi during WWII. And he may have been responsible for a bunch of deaths, but after the war, he moved to Cleveland, Ohio and started living the American dream. And the American Dream does not deal with marching Jews into ovens and killing them. From the article I read, he is a retired auto worker. Anyway, some judge doesn't want him going back to Germany to face charges because he is old and he probably has not killed a bunch of people recently. Oh, I am improvising a bit. Me, I want the American system to hand him over – we get all pissed when we can't prosecute people who have fled to other countries, and then we don't give people back when it is another countries turn to prosecute people for entertainment value and posturing. It just makes me mad, and I can't do anything about it (unless we go back to that high powered rifle solution above).

Then I read about some proof of massive sea monster:

Apr 3 - Just 800 miles (1287 km) from the North Pole, paleontologists believe they have found the fossilized remains of a massive sea monster that lived 150 million years ago.

Predator X -- a new species of a Pliosaur -- is said to have been the most dangerous creature to have lived under water.

The creature was about 50 feet (15 meters) long, weighed approximately 45 tonnes (40,823,000 kg), had a head ten feet (3 meters) long and jaws armed with teeth the size of cucumbers.

Dr. Jorn Hurum, and his team of paleontologists discovered Predator X in northern Norway last October and says the new species of a Pliosaur was more fearsome in power than the land-based Tyrannosaurus Rex.

And there is a link to a 2:12 minute video.

I know the sea monster has been dead for 150 million years, but I once saw an episode of Scooby Doo where a frozen caveman came back to life and chased a bunch of kids around while listening to funky rock-n-roll music. Come to think of it, those meddling kids found out it was not really a caveman, but I still have a fear that someone will thaw out this creature (if it were more than bones and rock), and it would splash around for a bit and then take a bite out of the ship that found it.

News just produces feelings in me that are counterproductive and uncomfortable. And I can't really do anything about it. Sure, some people will say that I should not vote unless I know a bit more about the candidates, but you know, I would argue that we don't generally make good choices about who to elect when we have a bunch of facts. It is all a crap shoot.

Wouldn't it be easier if we just let those suits behind the political machine do their thing, line their pockets, etc., and let the scientists get eaten by large frozen sea monsters while we spend our time figuring out the Wii Fit. And who really thinks that they will get in shape in front of a video game? Maybe those of us who decided not to listen to the news.

Tea Party Tax Protest

I was all set to write about the Tea Party Tax Protest that will be occurring today, and after a while, I thought, "Will it really matter?"

Right now, we are spending future generations into the poorhouse, and we really don't care as long as we have the cash to keep the cable on, pay for text messages, or purchase $600 shower curtains.

President Obama said something yesterday about us no longer being able to spend, spend, spend in government, but I guess that does not include the healthcare reform Obama wants, the stimulus package we "need" or else the Earth will start hurling into the sun, or for the US to either bail out or purchase the US automakers.

I look at things in simple terms, and here is how I see things:

Some people made some really foolish moves when purchasing homes – people who could not really afford homes purchased them on really shaky grounds because they figured that the housing market would go up 10% per year. Then when it looked like this was not going to happen, people started defaulting on loans, banks foreclosed on houses they did not really want to own, and property values fell in many areas of the country.

The government got involved because elected officials need to appear to be helpful. What I never understood was that some Federal oversight failed, regulators were sleeping at the wheel, so as rational beings we wanted the same people who made the mistakes to fix the problem. We did that because they have the expertise. I am still scratching my head on this one.

We passed a bunch of spending bills, and some of them did very little to help the economy. So our legislators decided to spend money in other ways. It reminds me of seeing someone on the side of the road, head bend, hood popped open, wondering why the car has stalled. He (face it, it would be a "he"; a "she" would call AAA) takes a monkey wrench (or other item in the toolbox) and whacks part of the car. If it doesn't fix the problem, he whacks another part of the engine. We are kinda doing the same thing right now, but our monkey wrench is 1 Trillion Dollar spending bills.

Here is what people are not talking about: (1) Unemployment is on the rise, but people are still making mortgage payments. What happens in several months when people start blowing through their emergency funds. (2) Most ARMs (adjustable rate mortgages) have not ratcheted up, yet. The first wave will hit in a year or so. What happens when this occurs.

Both of these events are what I like to call "Holy Cow" events. They are big, may affect housing prices and the economy, and will probably need our legislative bodies writing hundreds of billions of dollars in spending (because that's what legislatures do).

Part of me wants to dress like a native American and attend one of these tea party events – though I think dressing like Pocahontas is not really PC unless you are on a Disney property.

Me, I am looking at the stock market gain more than 1,000 points over the last month or two, and I still think about the bad news on the horizon. But stock brokers are smart, right? I mean, they are a bit smarter than mortgage brokers and bank regulators, right?

I have started thinking about this tea party tax protest some more. Why could it not have been some wine tasting tax protest instead? I mean, that would have more appeal to me, and after thinking about this, I could use a drink.

Easter and the Church (or Leesa Is Going to Hell)

It you have read me for a while, you probably know I am Catholic. If the guilt and Holy Water are not a tip off, my moral views are similar to that of the Church. Yeah, I am a total whack job.

And for those who don't do the whole Catholic Easter experience, Church is a big part of Easter. Here is the run-down:

1. Holy Thursday. This is the start of Holy Week, where the priest washes 12 people's feet. Those with foot fetishes must enjoy this mass. I had my feet washed once by a priest, and the whole time I was thinking, "I hope I don't have fuzz in between my toes." The next Easter I paid closer attention to the feet washing thing, and you really can't see other people's feet unless you are on the alter.

2. Good Friday. This is the mass which is, in my estimation, the most depressing of the masses. It is all about crucifixion, and you exit the Church in silence. One year, a priest actually made us drive nails into a board to symbolize the crucifixion. I wonder how much counseling was generated after that.

3. Holy Saturday (aka Easter Vigil). This is the marathon mass. It is normally 4 to 5 hours. Yes, folks, a whole lot of stuff happens at this Mass. The new Catholics are entered into the Church, normally a mixture of 2nd graders and adults.

4. Easter Mass. This is the most well-attended mass all year, where the C&E Catholics are found. C&E = Christmas and Easter, for those who just like to go to Mass on the big occasions. You know, like the relatives you see at weddings and funerals. They are part of the family and loved, but you don't really know them.

This is not really what I wanted to talk about, though. Consider this as background.

My husband attends Church with me, but sometimes he will skip if he thinks he can get away with it. When we were dating, he would attend Mass four days in a row. Now, however, he may attend two of the four Masses. Perhaps three.

This year, I attended Easter Vigil by myself. I mean, my husband did not want to spend that much time in Church. And this year, someone sat by me. Some guy sat by me, and it may have looked like we were a couple. In Church, I felt . . . uncomfortable. Not because I was doing anything wrong, but because others may have mistaken me for someone else's wife. Sounds weird, but it was an extremely uncomfortable feeling.

Here I was in Church, thinking about the gift Jesus gave us, feeling ashamed of how things appeared to others. Of course, then I started thinking about the kind of company Jesus kept. I hear Mary Magdalene was a real J-bunny. Crap, I think I just made fun of a saint, and I just went to confession last week.

Where is the delete button?

Demon Candy

Leesa has a tummy ache this morning.

Normally Leesa doesn't eat much Easter candy. I don't like peeps, though at one time they were as addictive as crack (I assume crack is addictive).

Leesa is not her normal self. Leesa normally does not talk in the third person about herself, but Leesa has eaten a lot of candy over the last 18 hours.

Leesa got a large white chocolate bunny, and Leesa thought she would only eat the ears, but once she had devoured the ears, the bunny looked out of proportion. Leesa did not want the bunny to look that weird, so she devoured the head. One thing lead to another, and soon enough, Leesa was placing teeth into bunny ass and enjoying it way too much to make her feel comfortable.

Leesa is not going to come to work today, not because she spent all weekend in prayer (Catholics have Church 4 days in a row) but because she ate bunny ass.

[No cute bunny ass picture today. I typed bunny ass into the computer and either got Hef wanna-bes bent over or real rabbit butts. Nothing I could use on my site.]

A Work Relationship

It all started innocently enough. I was chatting with a co-worker, in his cubical, and she was listening to the conversation. He was ignoring her, but she caught my eye. She would shake her head, sometimes at my words, sometimes at my co-worker's. I can't remember the conversation, but I remember her.

Next time I stopped to chat with the co-worker, she was in his cubical again. She looked the same, a fresh face. I am a bit embarrassed about this, but I was drawn to her . . . tail. Oh, you see the other female in the cubical was a goldfish.

And until recently, I thought fish were more like decorations than animals. You know, you see the Beta in an oversized brandy snifter, and you think, nice decoration. You don't think, this is an animal with its own thoughts and needs and desires.

But this fish, I will call her Goldie, changed all of that. My co-worker took a two week vacation recently, and he asked me to watch his fish for the time he was away. And by watch, he really meant feed his fish. He gave me some flakes and no instructions and he left Goldie to my care.

I looked at the amount of flakes left, and I thought to myself, "This is not going to last two weeks," so I went to the store to get a bit more food. The nice person at the store convinced me to buy a different type of food, in pellets instead of flakes.

So I started feeding the goldfish pellets. They were cleaner than the flakes for sure, and they seemed to make the goldfish come out of her shell. Not that goldfish have shells. After a few days, the goldfish seemed to interact with me more, almost starting to beg for its food. At first I was feeding the fish the first thing in the morning – feed fish, log into computer, read blogs, get coffee, start to work. I would do things in that order. Then I started feeding the fish a few pellets when Goldie begged for them.

And by the end of the two weeks, I really thought Goldie had started to have a personality. She would recognize my blur as I went by, I would swear, and she would beg for food. Plus she was really, really happy to see me.

I know, I know. Rational people don't think goldfish can think. Perhaps Goldie is extraordinary.

Happy Friday!

Internet Crap

At least once per week, I get a forwarded email that should not have been forwarded to me. Much of the time, the email contains facts that seem alarming (and are false). But sometimes it is something that most of us have seen . . . way too much.

I found this list somewhere. For better or for worse, here are a list of things that most "Internet savvy" people have seen at least a dozen times. Bad news for me; most of these things look new. There were some bonus items, and I did not list them because "Two Girls One Cup" was among the items. And that is just wrong.

01. Grape Stomp
02. Charlie Bit Me
03. Chocolate Rain
04. Dancing Baby
05. Post Secret
06. Charlie The Unicorn
07. Mentos and Diet Coke
08. Numa Numa
09. Peanut Butter Jelly Time
10. George Lucas In Love

11. You're The Man Now Dog
12. Yatta
13. Star Wars Kid
14. Bubb Rubb
15. The Flying Spaghetti Monster
16. Dramatic Chipmunk
17. Homestar Runner
18. GI Joe Pork Chop Sandwiches
19. Fail Blog
20. Skateboarding Dog

21. All Your Base Are Belong To Us
22. Winnebago Man
23. We Like The Moon
24. I Can Has Cheezburger
25. Barney Vs. Tupac
26. Shining
27. Cute Overload
28. Rick Roll
29. Lazy Sunday
30. David After The Dentist

31. Powerthirst
32. Christian The Lion
33. Bert and Ernie Rap
34. Lady Punch
35. Leprechaun in Alabama
36. Where The Hell Is Matt
37. Boom Goes The Dynamite
38. Breakdancing Baby
39. Drunk Jeff Goldblum
40. Scarlet Takes A Tumble

41. Sepultura - Refuse resist (cover) By Gauchos
42. Gay Mount Everest
43. Afro Ninja
44. Cop Shoots Himself In Leg In Classroom
45. Tron Guy
46. "Leave Britney Alone"
47. Laughing Baby
48. I'm the Juggernaut Bitch
49. The Chairperson Falls
50. Take On Me The Literal Version

51. Bill O'Reilly Flips Out
52. Don't Tase Me Bro
53. The Landlord
54. Breakdancing Baby Kick
55. The Pet Penguin
56. Ms. South Carolina Answers A Question
57. I'm F*#king Matt Damon
58. Will It Blend
59. Spaghetti Cat
60. Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

61. Little Superstar
62. Chad Vader
63. Pretty Much Everywhere It's Going To Be Hot
64. I Like Turtles
65. Who Needs A Movie
66. Jake E. Lee Shreds
67. Hawaii Chair
68. Aussie Party
69. Hitler Plans Burning Man
70. Flirting with Magic

71. Look At The Horse
72. Asian Backstreet Boys
73. Leroy Jenkins
74. Pinky The Cat
75. Monkey Sniffs Finger
76. Sneezing Panda
77. Prison Inmates remake "Thriller"
78. Techno Viking
79. Ask A Ninja
80. Best Man Trips and Ruins Wedding

81. Best Wedding Toast Ever (Amy's Song)
82. Kitten Surprise (how to break up a cat fight)
83. Katana Sword Infomercial Goes Wrong
84. Matrix Ping Pong
85. La Pequeña Prohibida
86. Angry German Kid (translated)
87. Evolution of Dance
88. Ok Go – "Here It Goes Again"
89. Battle at Kruger (lions vs. buffalos vs. crocodiles.
90. Daft Hands

91. Human Beatbox
92. Most T-Shirts Worn At Once
93. Zero G Dog
94. Cuppy Cakes Song
95. George Washington
96. Scary Maze Prank
97. Gay Referee
98. Tranquilized Bear Hits Trampoline
99. Reporter Gets A Fly In The Mouth

You can guess I just did not want to post anything today.

Race Relations

When I was young, quite young, I remember listening to my grandfather. He was . . . a bit of a racist. No way to sugarcoat it. He used the N-word an awful lot. And not the N-word that most people think about. The older N-word. Again, think racist grandfather. He grew up listening to and saying that N-word. He heard untrue things about black people and believed them. That's part of his past, and it shaped my view of him.

And something happened in the 80s. I did not know what it was at the time, but my grandfather became less of a racist. The way I see it is that everyone tries to make sense of the world, and in their mid-twenties or so, people try and figure out the world. They take info from when they were younger, then what they have learned and figure out how to react to a bunch of situations.

He grew up in Georgia, not the center of the universe. He remembers being jumped by many African Americans. That is his first vivid memory he has of an interaction. Through years, he hears that African Americans are not as smart as he is, that they are lazy, etc. This is what he learned. This is an opinion he had.

The older people of his generation start dying . . . I mean, they are older, and all, so they start dying. Those influential racists start dying. And he continues to experience things throughout his life.

He notices that an African American neighbor moves into his "good neighborhood." He expects the neighborhood to "go downhill", but it doesn't. He also starts observing his neighbor. The first things he says about his African American neighbor (to others but granddaughter is listening) is not encouraging. It is full of hate and anger. Things he has learned.

But you know what begins to happen? He notices that the neighborhood does not "go downhill." He notices that his neighbor's yard is not only well-maintained, but it becomes the best yard in the neighborhood. The neighbor spends time mowing his yard, fertilizing it, everything. The neighbor begins to change my grandfather's mind, changing his heart in the process.

A couple of years go by, and little by little, my grandfather uses the other n-word a bit less, and without the preceding "damn" at all. The neighbor hunts and shares his kill with my grandfather. My grandfather responds with fish he has caught. They are developing a polite friendship. The friendship is not more or less than other neighbors, but the important thing is that it seems about the same. Regardless of race.

By the time he died, he seemed like much less of a racist. There were shadows of racism, but it was not like I remember as a little girl.

I remember talking with an elderly black man . . . it must have been twenty years ago. We talked about many things, but something he said I still remember. He said that race relations would begin to improve, not in his generation, but in his grandson's (and in mine). He seemed to know that past experiences would be difficult to overcome, to look past. Some healing could take place, but not the type of healing that would improve race relations within the culture.

I heard someone a few weeks ago say that they are sick about talking about race relations. It had to do with the aftermath of Barack Obama's election. For me, I am glad that the dialog is still taking place. I think it is important.

The Toilet Paper Shortage of 1973

Sometime in 1975 or so, I remember going to my grandparents house and seeing so much toilet paper in a closet in the spare bedroom. There were rolls and rolls of one type of toilet paper. Years later, I saw less and less of the toilet paper, and I just assumed they got a great deal on TP.

Until today.

I was fairly young in the early 70s, so I don't know what was going on politically. Nixon tapes? Had not a clue? The stock market stagnation? Had nothing to do with my drowsy doll.

I sort of remember the gas crunch in the late 70s, when we would all pile in the car on different days and sit in line for gasoline. But I did not really understand what was going on.

There was a toilet paper shortage in the United States in 1973.No, I did not say Russia. The good ol'
U S of A.

This toiler paper shortage started with a Johnny Carson Tonight Show monologue. On December 19, 1973, the writers for the show had heard earlier the federal government was falling behind in getting bids to supply toilet paper and that it might be possible that in a few months the United States could face a shortage of toilet tissue. They took the words of this Wisconsin congressional representative, Harold Froehlich and decided to add a joke for Carson for the evening show.

Carson did in fact use the joke in a monologue stating, "You know what's disappearing from the supermarket shelves? Toilet paper. There's an acute shortage of toilet paper in the United States."

Twenty million people that watched the Carson show that evening ran out in the morning and bought as much toilet paper as they could carry. My grandparents must have been among those who started hording the stuff (thus their very large supply of toilet paper for many years). By noon on December 20, 1973, practically every store in America was out of stock. Many of the stores tried to ration this valuable paper but they could not keep up with the demand no matter what they did.

A few nights later, Johnny Carson explained there was no shortage and he apologized to his viewers. However, this did not help with the scare. As soon as people noticed the empty shelves, they wanted this paper even more. It took three weeks to get the shelves stocked again, ending the shortage caused by a joke in Johnny Carson's monolog.

Tipping Part II

Last week, I wrote a blog entry on tipping. It was basically about tipping of coffee baristas. I thought it was a really good blog entry, but not a lot of people commented on it. Perhaps not a lot of people enjoyed or saw it. Who knows.

Well, since not a lot of people enjoyed/liked it, I thought I would continue writing about tipping.

First, I am not sure I understand the point of tipping in restaurants. I mean, I understand it is to reward good service, and perhaps encourage the service in the future, but I doubt it really does that. I mean, people generally tip in a certain range, no matter how good or poor the service is. If I have crappy service, I tip 15%. If I have good service, I tip 20%. So the difference between crappy and wonderful service is only about a third more. Plus, let's say I want tipping to benefit me. I have already received the service I will receive, and unless I have that person as a server again (and they remember I tipped well), the odds of me affecting how they treat me are almost nil. This seems terribly inefficient to me. There is no real effort/reward connection, and it doesn't affect how I get my service.

So I really think tipping in this context just shifts costs from the restaurant owner to the patron.

Then there is tipping of my hairdresser. I tip her extremely well. The percentage is higher than tipping in restaurants, and I am fine with the percentage I tip. I actually derive some sort of benefit from the tip. I see the same person each time, and she should know I tip generously. She also has squeezed me in with an appointment time when she really did not have time, and I like to think she spends a bit more time on my hair. Also, I get the impression I am charged a bit less than they can charge. Not all costs are publicly posted, and my costs have not increased in four years. While this may be a coincidence, I think she has discretion on what she charges her customers.

Then there is tipping of the sky caps. I have heard $1 or $2 per bag, but if you think of it, that is a wide range. Also, my tip may vary, as my perception of time saved with normal check-in varies. I don't give this a lot of thought, and I hope that over or under tipping does not flag people to search me before the flight. Oh, and I hope sky caps don't handle bags differently because of the tip given, but I have to admit, I am a bit more generous because I suspect this is the case.

I also don't know about tipping when you drop off a car for a medical appointment. I was escorting my mother a few years ago, to and from some appointments in a hospital, and I could not tell if the valet parking was discouraged from taking tips.

Then there is picking up food from a restaurant. Do you tip when you order take-out and pick it up yourself? I have no idea, so I tip sporadically. I know sporadic tipping is definitely wrong, but I do this because I am confused.

Tip jars are popping up in all sorts of locations. I know they want tips when I see the jar, but in some cases, I just feel like it is extortion if it is in a place where tipping is not customary.

Tipping should not be difficult, but it is to me. I just wish there was a definitive guide.

Random Friday #32

The Hailey Project
Someone just told me about The Hailey Project. I can't believe there are less than 1,000 subscribers to the project so far. It seems to have some good production value for YouTube. Not sure why it is not more popular. Guess there is limited masturbation opportunities (aka Lonely Girl 15).

Reduce Cancer Risk: Is Ihere Any Proof?
I saw something about cutting cancer risk. Here were the things one needs to do:

1. Don’t smoke (a no-brainer).

2. Limit red meat, alcohol, fat, and salt.

3. Eat fruit, veggies, and whole grains — lots of them!

4. Exercise regularly.

5. Watch your weight.

I saw the list, and this seems like something my parents would say. I get the impression that this is just common sense or order to stay on this earth longer. I read this on some "heath" site, but they don't list any studies.

Jennifer Aniston's Nipples
Last week I got a few comments about Jennifer Aniston's nipples (when she was on Friends). Apparently she was quite perky. I googled it, and it seems that others have noticed as well. I don't know if it is more disturbing that (1) I am still talking about nipples, (2) I am getting comments about other nipple-related events, (3) I never noticed Jennifer Aniston's nipples when I would watch Friends, (4) that there are people who splice together bits of TV programs that show perky nipples, or (5) I typed in "Friends nipples" into Google.

Gattaca
Almost 10 years ago, I saw a movie called Gattaca. Yeah, I was one of the two dozen people who saw the film. The movie was bad, but I really think the philosophical questions are interesting and made a viewer's interaction with the movie entertaining. So Gattaca was a movie that I did not think was well-done, but I enjoyed watching it because of the discussions I was having in my brain. Does that make it a good movie? Maybe not.

Clueless
I can't believe I had not seen this video: Paris Hilton for President. I have not seen The Hills, Desperate Housewives, or Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. Well, from the jokes, perhaps no one has seen more than an episode or two of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.

Twitter Impaired

I have a confession to make. I have a Twitter account, and I don't really twitter. I follow Deb and Ambeer. You know Deb, a writer and blogger. Ambeer (I can't remember her real name) used to have a blog that was pretty interesting (she is friends with Pete Wentz, I think, but I can't be sure; he is some band member, which probably means he sleeps late and gets laid often). She was a stripper (PC job description: exotic dancer). And I was going to tell you who else I follow, but you know, you can see for yourself. That's part of how twitter works. And I don't twitter.

One of the people I follow said, "i have to remember to update this thing.. im slipping out of the social network little by little it seems...." You can tell it is not me writing this because I use capital and lowercase letters, and I don't really know all of the shorthand. You see, I don't twitter.

I guess I don't know any of the short words because I don't have a Blackberry or other phone device that is sort of like a cyborg phone. More robot/computer than phone. If I had to use my thumbs to update stuff on twitter, I would know text shorthand. I get that 121 means "one to one", but why is 1174"nude club"? Are the 1s polls, and the 74 is a stick-finger stripper? I mean, if that is so, who has the time to figure this stuff out. You see, I don't twitter, and that means I don't understand text shorthand.

While typing this blog entry, I got a message from Deb: "How can you write a blog entry on Twitter? Not enough room! ;) Good luck." She was responding to my comment: "Writing a blog entry on twitter. How weird is that?" Of course, you could follow this conversation right now on twitter. All 6 people following me can, at least. This would be common sense to most, and I just figured this out. This is because I don't twitter.

I guess I would not be good at twitter, anyway. I mean, if I had the application running I could write random things, but I don't do random well.

"3rd trip to the bathroom this am; 2 much diet dr pepper or I am becoming diabetic"

"co-worker just left after giving me a memo; her perfume (stench) lingers – I hate that"

"@BarackObama. Can you get your presidential ass off twitter and re-write your budget? You can't expand healthcare and shrink the debt at the same time"

See, I suck at randomness. Oh, and Barack Obama has a twitter account. Lots of famous people do. And it would be better to make TheOnion a friend than for me to be your friend. There is randomness and humor in their twits. Again, if you have forgotten, I don't twitter.

I just am not that interesting and I have too much stuff to do than twitter. Twitter will fail. I mean, how many self important people with too much time on their hands are there in the world? Okay, there are tons of those people. Perhaps that's why twitter is so popular. See I don't twitter.

Aging Gracefully

I remember a girl who I grew up with: she was very popular. You know the type: a cheerleader, liked in public by all the girls and boys, and really pretty. She was four inches taller than me, and if she wore more adult clothes, she would be confused with the teachers. In high school, she looked like a woman among girls.

Yeah, I hated her privately.

I never told anyone because that was sort of like social suicide. I was pleasant with Karen, but we were not friends in middle school and high school. She was just out of my class. You know, the cheerleaders and the popular athletes.

Well, I saw Karen the other day, and she did not look so hot. I sort of felt bad for her. When she was in high school, she was one of the prettiest girls in school. Now that she is approaching middle age – okay, firmly in middle age – she is not the prettiest woman in the room. I guess I feel bad because that must be a change for her.

I have not attended any of the reunions, so I don't know if all of the popular girls have not aged as gracefully as I would have imagined.

I reminds me of some of the comments about Justine Bateman a few years ago – she was the middle child in the Keating household in the 80s television show Family Ties. I was looking for some images to prove this point, but I really don't think she has aged poorly. Perhaps someone has stooped up the really horrid images already. I was chatting with someone about this, and they suggested Erin Moran (Joanie from Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi).

Anyway, I don't have much to write about today, but I was wondering if there is some sense of karma in the world. Do really beautiful young adults age more quickly than others. I mean, I remember Karen always sunbathing (something we did back then, not sure if it is done as much anymore). That could have contributed to her looks. And there are many examples of people who have looked good for 50 years and more. Audrey Hepburn is one person – I remember seeing a picture of her with an Ethiopian child on her back and she looked so beautiful. She was a bit wrinkled but she must have been in her 60s.

I look at people on the street and assume that beautiful people have always been beautiful, but that may not be the case. I have run into some people I knew in high school, then later raced to their pictures. Oh, that is the person, someone who seemed so plain looking at the time. A late bloomer.

I always look for assumptions that can make my life easier – but perhaps there is no rule-of-thumb concerning beauty as people get older. Perhaps the world is a bit more complicated. For every Erin Moran, there is an Audrey Hepburn.

Sexting

Under the Influence (be warned: she streams audio, which I normally hate but started to endure to read her stuff; her music choices are good, I just have a dislike for streaming audio on blogs) wrote about sexting the other day, and I had not heard the term before.

Apparently the Today show even highlighted this issue. A young girl took her life after sexting turned into teasing and cruelty.

When I was growing up, the only way to have a nude picture of oneself was Polaroids. If you took a pic of yourself with a regular camera, the drug store would not process nude photos either (actually, I think they would process and keep them).

And Poloroids at the time could not be copied. So even if a Polaroid was taken, the number of people to see the photo is limited, and if you were to get the photo back, you could destroy the evidence. So when I was growing up, taking nude photos of oneself was not common, and if done, the damage is limited.

Hitting the send button on a cell phone is can be done without thinking. Remember drunk dialing? With drunk dialing, there is normally not any evidence to be disseminated to friends. Heck, when I was slutting it up years ago, a friend asked for a photo of me, and I took a photo downstairs only, thinking at the time that I was hiding my identity. The next day I was so embarrassed that I had sent the photo – and I don't have proof it was shared. Now that I am clear-headed and removed from the situation, of course the photo was shared. He probably sent it to all of his buds. Oh, was I stupid. And I was a grown up.

The story that started this deals with teens. On the Today show, they said that the sender of the photo, if under 18, could be convicted of child pornography (and registered as a sex offender). While I am okay with it being a crime, I hope it is listed a tad differently. I mean, if I am scanning the neighborhood for sex offenders, I think there is a difference between men and women who take pictures of little girls and boys or do things with them. I just don't want a 17-year-old girl who sends a nude photo to her boyfriend get placed on the list. I want to be disgusted by sex offenders, and once you place some on the list who are less gross, you make the sex offender list less toxic. And that needs to be a toxic list.

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I don't watch Today, but after clicking on the story on sexting that I was writing about today, I saw the following, "Human-like robot makes runway debut". It premiered on March 23. Apparently, a human-like robot takes to the runway during Tokyo's fashion week. In the story, the robot looks like a Japanese woman and weighs 95 pounds. Luckily it costs around $200,000. When the price drops and there is an optional attachment to make other parts more interactive, it will mean the downfall of civilized society.

Thank You Notes

Brown-Eved Girl wrote a post about etiquette issues, not sending thank you notes, among the issues. And she got a few crappy comments about offending readers. She later apologized for offending folks.

Pause.

Isn't this kinda backwards? She writes about etiquette and gets rude remarks. Sort of baffles the mind.

Anyway, when I was a child, I had to write Thank You notes. When I was in earlier grades, these notes sort of sucked the air out of some of the fun in getting stuff. About 2:30 PM on Christmas Day, my mother would say, "I want you to have all of your Thank You notes written in the next two days.

So for the next two days, I thought about Thank You notes. I would look at my pile of toys and sigh. Darn it, I needed to write Thank You notes. And I would look at my gifts differently as well. Oh, Aunt Mary got me a dress for my Drowsy Doll. She doesn't really like pink all that much and will probably not wear it all that much. But I still have to spend hours writing Aunt Mary her freakin' Thank You note. Ten minutes in those days seemed like hours. I actually think if children were allowed to play with nuclear material, the Manhattan Project would have taken two weeks, or a week-and-a-half without nap time.

As I matured, I started enjoying writing Thank You notes. I had special paper, would write my Thank Yous in flowery prose, and I would place the stamp up-side-down on the envelope. It went from being a chore to something I really wanted to do. Oh, and I could tell on my siblings for not writing their Thank You notes. An added bonus.

Now I still write the notes, and now, I think it sets me aside from others. Everyone is so busy with this and that, twittering about what they are doing, downloading music for their iPods, writing Facebook entries. They don't have the time to write a Thank You note and send it in the mail. At times, I have thought about e-mailing Thank Yous, but it just does not seem the same. It won't have the same impact, I guess.

I know most people have stopped sending Thank You notes, but it doesn't seem like these people should send Brown-Eyed Girl a bunch of hate comments so that they feel better about not observing this custom. Thank You notes may be dying out, but good manners should be observed.

I feel like I should be ironing my husbands shirts, watching Ozzie and Harriot, and preparing a pot roast for dinner tonight. Yikes.

Random Friday #31

Semi-Inspirational Quote
The other day I saw an inspirational quote by William Jennings Bryan: "The greatest things ever done on Earth have been done little by little." And the quote was accompanied by a picture of several pyramids. So I thought to myself, "The greatest things ever done were done little by little, while enslaving those less powerful than ourselves."Afterwards, the quote seemed less inspirational.

Baby LeRoy
The other day I saw a movie that had an old movie in the background. I did not see the title of the movie, but one of the actors in the credits was Baby LeRoy. I don't think I have ever heard of him (I am not a silent movie buff), but I looked him up.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
Baby LeRoy (12 May 1932 – 28 July 2001) was a child actor who appeared in films in the 1930s.

Born Ronald Le Roy Overacker in Los Angeles, California, Baby LeRoy's career began when he was less than a year old, co-starring with Maurice Chevalier in A Bedtime Story, and ended with a cameo role as himself in Cinema Circus (1937). He is best known for his appearances in a number of W. C. Fields films, including Tillie and Gus (1933) and It's a Gift (1934).

A starring role in the 1940 film The Biscuit Eater was to have been his comeback, but an accident during filming forced the director to choose between recasting or holding up production until he recovered. The director chose to recast, and the film became one of Billy Lee's best-remembered roles. In 1957, as an adult, he appeared as a guest challenger on the TV panel show To Tell The Truth.

The actor died in Van Nuys, California.

Every once in a while, you get the impression that it is nearly impossible to be a well-rounded individual, exposed to all kinds of art. This is one of those times.

Simple Analysis
I saw a YouTube clip of Bill Maher on Healthcare: Politics Simplified. Basically Bill Maher says the government should be involved in healthcare because they do a good job with the post office. How does the successfully delivery of a letter translate to rationing out healthcare? It makes no sense whatsoever, though it sounds good in sound-bite form.

Farrah
I saw an interview with Farrah (on David Letterman). She seems as if she were on something. And then I found Farrah on The Partridge Family. Let's just say that you will recognize Farrah if you have ever seen her poster. The hair is different, but . . .

A Different Spin
I saw a post the other day, and I was a bit horrified by the post. Then I saw the two comments (one made by the poster, the other by a crazy person, and it really placed a different spin on the whole issue. I don't know why, but I thought it was so funny at the time.

YouTube Copyright Infringements
I missed the president's news conference, and I went to YouTube to get it. Some guy just posted it. This was not from ABC, though there was an ABC logo on the video. I know there is a fair use of copyrighted material, but this does not seem to be part of it. I mean, I got what I wanted and I that was fine. But YouTube gets money from advertisers and this seems like ABC would be a bit pissed. Maybe.

Browsing Blogs
The other day, I read a blog, and one of the comments was, "You are my kind of girl. You should read my blog." So I went over to see why this person was hawking her blog. She is a waitress in Hollywood. She says she has a fairly good chance of being either a writer or an actress. She has black fingernails and rainbow-dyed hair, but she claims that she doesn't prance around, doing things to get noticed. If her writing was better, her blog might be entertaining. And you know, I really don't want to read a blog just to make fun of it. It just does not sound like much fun anymore.

Monsters vs. Aliens
I was looking at a computer this weekend (I won't buy, I had thought I was going to find a deal), and there was a bunch of Monsters vs. Aliens advertisements. One of the main characters is akin to the 50 Foot Woman. I have thought about giants, and most of the more human-looking giants are women. My first thought was, "I would not want an ass that large." But then I wondered if men were a bit scared of a giant man's penis. You know, for comparison purposes.

Man 1: "You think yours is impressive, you should see the 50 foot man's penis. His wood is bigger than your tree out front."

I almost said that the 50 foot man's penis could not go down a manhole. You know, the manhole covers in the street – I mistakingly was going to call it a manhole (is it a sewer hole?). And then I thought of what manhole suggests. And now I am giggling.

I think I should go now.

Oh, and I was going to say that men are perfectly fine with a woman with huge breasts.

Man 1: "Silver dollars. Shoot, the 50 foot woman's breasts are more like the size of dinner plates."

Man 2: "I'd like to eat off of them."\

Okay, I am going now. I wanted to talk about the economy, but ended up talking about huge penises and eating off nipples. Oh, boy, this has been a week.

Nipples Galore

I have gotten a bit of "fan mail" concerning my recent post about Farrah Fawcett. Oh, the post was on self image, and there was a picture of Farrah. Most just saw her nipple.

Growing up, I think that was the first nipple I ever saw – Farrah's nipple. I wonder if having a famous nipple is a bit of a hindrance in Farrah's life. It is one thing to feel the gaze of a man on your chest area and think he is staring, but quite another for a whole nation to stare at the nipple for years, the posters fading but the nipple still standing erect as everything around changes. I typed nipple into Google, limiting it to images. I half-expected to see Farrah's poster, but instead got an image of Rihanna.

The second nipple I noticed actually was brought to my attention by a nosey neighbor's mother. She was talking to someone one the phone about the picture in Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, and I overheard the horrors. Naturally I had to see for myself.

Anyway, I thought it was a cover of SI (it wasn't), and I finally found the model and picture. Cheryl Tiegs made appearances in SI's swimsuit issue 15 times, including appearances on the covers in 1975 and 1983. I did not know it at the time, but this was the rest of the story concerning the picture: "But it was her appearance in 1978’s edition that garnered her the most attention. During the shoot, she retired for a quick dip in the ocean and emerged to a flurry of flashing cameras. She obliged the photographers for nearly an hour, only to find out later as she examined their prints that her white fishnet bikini was completely, wonderfully translucent." (Ask Men Magazine)

I remember that when I was growing up, half of the reason for a bra was to hide any nipple erection. I am not trying to be funny or sexy, just matter-of-fact. Because a strong breeze can occasionally cause a nipple erection – even being embarrassed can do it. Even clothing rubbing just so can cause a nipple erection. It does not have to be sexual (though most guys read it that way).

Guy 1: "Oh, Suzy likes me. Did you see her twin peaks when she was watching me in the weight room.

Guy 2: "All right. It was pretty cold in the gym, but I can tell she was really into you. She was giving Debbie all kinds of attention, just so she could peek at your pecs."

What is interesting to me is that I see a lot of these old television programs and many of the actresses were not wearing bras, and their nipples were clearly visible. I did not notice it at the time – staring at boobs was a bit more of a guy's thing, I suppose.

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And yeah, the title is a tip to the James Bond character. Not that I have seen the movie.

Readers' Comments

I was reading Cliff the other day, and he was talking about a comment by a co-worker. I have had a few comments that are classified as "neat." And by "neat", I mean different. I have had my share of neat comments – sure, my regular commenters are insightful, funny, inquisitive (insert additional ass-kissing remarks here). Truly I have seen some funny comments.

But I have had a couple of the comments that seem to be, well, more unique.

A few years ago, a staff producer of a television show made a comment that indicated they wanted to talk to me about being on their show concerning cheating spouses and recovery. Okay, I am writing this blog anonymously, but they wanted me to go on camera in New York City to show about me screwing around on my husband. Yeah, that seems like an idea. Let's rip open some of the healing so that someone's TV show can get some ratings. No thanks. [I am fairly certain that, at the time, if you typed in "cheating whore", my blog was in the top ten.] Okay a bit melodramatic, but you get the idea.

For a little while, I was writing YouTube reviews. It was a bad idea, and most people didn't like it. But I got a note from someone who is a YouTube celebrity. She is a teenager from Australia, but a YouTube celebrity. She was on some news show (60 minutes?). That was kinda neat. But again, she is a teenager. It is not like Zac Efron left a message. [Is it wrong to think he is a hottie?]

Of course, the first comment I received was from Ddot. He no longer blogs, but it was a thrill getting my first comment. He is African American and most of his readers were also African American. I felt like the white chick in the room. It was kinda cool.

The first comment that hurt my feelings was from Deb. She misunderstood what I was saying (because it was not clear). This was years ago (2005), and since then, I have become one of Deb's biggest fans. Weird how life works.

The first comment that was unsettling was from Grant. I don't remember the comment, but it involved violence and humor (and no, those two adjectives together will not get you closer to the comment I first remembered).

The first commentor that pissed me off on a regular basis was Prata. I even would cut-and-paste his comments to a new blog entry and argue with him. I just needed that much space. He is very intelligent, and for a while, he had some time on his hands so he would argue with me. He rarely reads me anymore, and I am fine with that.

Anyway, the next time you make a comment on someone else's blog, it may mean the world to that person. Does this sound too cute and pink and adorable? Sorry. Perhaps tomorrow I will post pictures of a little Asian girl with a couple of weapons.

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I missed the president's news conference, and I went to YouTube to get it. Some guy just posted it. Every time I think YouTube is going to shrivel and die, I do something that confirms my own mind that it is not going away at all.

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Is the "scheduled post" feature working for you? It has not been working for me.

Coffee Barista Tipping

I don't buy coffee often. I consider myself a social drinker – I will drink coffee to blend into a crowd, but I am not much of a coffee drinker. It is not really that I don't like coffee, just that I don't have the time and energy to devote to figuring out how to drink coffee. You know, the blends, the sizes, the chants you have to use in order to make a good pot of coffee. You get the idea.

When I go to a Starbucks (or any coffeehouse), I generally order what the person in front of me orders. Again, I don't have the skills and knowledge to order a cup of coffee.

I can't believe I don't have the necessary skills/knowledge to order coffee.

The world has just gotten so complicated. I think coffee used to be "regular" or "decaf". Now not so simple.

Anyway, when I am paying for my coffee, I notice a tip jar. Barista's seem to expect tips. This confuses me.

When I am at a restaurant, I understand tipping. The server provides a service, the restaurant pays part of his/her wages, and restaurant patrons make up the difference. I get it. Pay for performance and all.

I go to the mall and order an Orange Julius, the person prepares the drink and I pay the exact amount. No tip requested or necessary.

I go to the mall and order a fancy cookie, the person selects and hands me the cookie and I pay the exact amount. No tip requested or necessary.

I go to the mall and order a coffee, the person pours or prepares the coffee and I pay the exact amount. And I see the tip jar; the barista expects a tip.

I like patterns in my life, and tipping of baristas doesn't seem to fit my pattern.

Now, I don't know if baristas deserve tips or should have tips, but here is a common-sense approach to the problem.

If I visit a barista every day, I am tipping that barista (considering he/she knows my coffee wants/needs). And here is why: I don't know exactly how I would most like my coffee, but I am fairly sure that I would most like my coffee without saliva in it. If you go to someone often and there is a tipping situation, it makes sense to tip. You will more likely be rewarded for tipping well and punished for tipping poorly.

If you visit a barista only once or very infrequently, tip if it makes you feel guilty, and don't tip if it doesn't (and you are opposed to tipping for the barista). Me, I feel guilty and it is better for me to tip, because the dollar infrequently makes me feel happier. But if you take some philosophical stance against it, perhaps you just like patterns. See above.