Wednesday, June 01, 2011

A Beautiful . . . Toilet

I saw an ad for a Kohler toilet that was so far from my reality that I was fascinated by it.



It about $6,300, it does a lot more than transport waste to the local sewer system. Normally I don’t suggest looking at a video when we can describe things with words, but if you want to be in awe, look at the video before reading further. Really.

The first think one notices is the design of the toilet. We are talking about a piece of plumbing that, at first, looks like a piece of modern art. Some sort of elegant three dimensional trapezoid. Press a button on the remote control, and the toilet comes to life. What originally worries me is that there is a remote control. If you misplace the television remote, and you have to use buttons on the television that’s not as convenient. If you misplace the toilet remote, you have to look for the darned thing, legs crossed. [Actually, there are auxiliary controls for the “basic functionality” of the unit.]

There is an advanced bidet that has pulsation, oscillation and wave patterns. If you can adjust the angle, this would seem like a water-waster (think about it). There is an integrated air dryer (think of what you would dry after the bidet (really). The seat is heated, and you even have warm air that can be a foot warmer.

For nightly trips to the most expensive appliance you may have in your house, there are illuminated panels to guide your way. Of course, you can also play music that could help guide you as well. And, yes, there is a connection for your MP3 player. I could find no information if Brad Paisley’s Ode de Toilet is included in the sound system.

Speaking of toilet preferences, there are “user presets” so that each person can customize their unique toileting experience. Bidet on or off (and type of stream preferred); warming tushie/tootsie or not. Music preferences. Whatever.

Okay, I am not ready for this toilet. When I can’t figure out how to use a toilet, I am below the ignorant zone. And I can’t let a toilet do that to me.

7 comments:

Xmichra said...

I'm still in shock that these two use the toilet in front of a huge window like that. Very creepy personal issues DUDE.

Zephyr said...

Ha!

Now... when it entirely cleans itself, inside & out, I'm sold. :)

Leesa said...

Xmichra: worse than the window is that there is a remote control. Who on earth would touch the remote, knowing that the last person that touched it did so while on the elegant CAN?

Zephyr: If you pay $6,300 for a toilet, I am just going out on a limb and guessing you are also paying someone to clean your house.

Knot said...

Really ... seriously ... for that much it better go to the bathroom for me.

Michael said...

the remote really is freaky...but I will admit to wondering what owning a bidet would be like...

Leesa said...

knot: you expect a lot of your appliances.

michael: I always wanted a bidet - separate seat, of course, in a bathroom that can accomodate the bidet, the large tub and the separate shower.

coopernicus said...

my mrs. applied for and was offered for a sales support job at Kohler. The first day at work they wanted her to sign a paper stating she wouldn't get pregnant for 5 years (this was 1980-ish). Needless to say she walked away..and we were both too young and stupid to take them to court.