Monday, June 06, 2011

The Fine Print

I sometimes purchase tickets from Fandango, and when I was waiting in line recently, I read the fine print.

The first part of the fine print states, “Your purchase guarantees your admission.” Then it talks about getting their 30 minutes early for the best seats, etc. At the end of the fine print, it concludes with, “The theater management reserves the right to refuse admission on this ticket by refunding the purchase price.”

So my question is, how does your purchase guarantee admission when the theater management can refuse admission? That does not sound like a guarantee to me.

I don’t often read fine print. When I have to install updates to software, I don’t read the fine print. A bunch of legal stuff pops up, and I think it sort of says if the software screws up your computer, the software company cannot be held responsible. I click okay that I have read and agree with the fine print, but if I even really read the fine print, I would not install any software or updates.

I remember so long ago when I got my wisdom teeth out. I was in college, and I had to sign a piece of paper before they pulled my teeth out. The paper was filled with “fine print”, but with medical stuff, they don’t call it fine print. Anyway, it said something about the possibility of them breaking my jaw. Now, I didn’t want my teeth pulled because of that, even though they stated crowding my other teeth. I really don’t know what people did before dentists. Perhaps they just had overcrowded teeth.

I have read a lot of fine print, but the older I get, the more I wonder why I read it. I don’t want to know that there are chances a dentist can break a jaw. Imagine having surgery? What does that consent-to-treat paper look like? I am sure I don’t want to know.

I mean, coffee cups have fine print that the contents may be hot. Motorboats say that you should not operate them when you are drunk. Fine print is not for information dissemination; it is to protect the company’s legal arse.

I still can’t get over Fandango. When is a guarantee not a guarantee? Apparently when you purchase a ticket.


Xmichra said...

There are people out there that the fine print was made for. I'd have to agree with you though, I don't wanna know either.

Zephyr said...

I usually don't want to know the details, but sometimes I find them hysterical. I once bought a pair of earbuds that advertised a lifetime guarantee, and the fine print inside the packaging guaranteed them for 90 days.

I wrote to the company to complain that I wasn't ready to die in 3 months. Their reply proved they had no sense of humor.

Leesa said...

xmichra: I am beginning to understand about ignorance being blissful.

zephyr: I cannot believe the 90-day guarantee. When I was in college, I had two backpacks replaced, no questions asked. I could not believe it because one of them was caught in a car door and dragged on pavement.

Anonymous said...

Preparation H has fine print that says don't take it orally. Fine print exists because jackwagons don't have enough common sense and do things like that.

I can hear them now, "You didn't tell me not to put it in my mouth!"

My response would be, "Dude, it's for your A$$!"

Leesa said...

And paper coffee cups say contents may be hot. I took Business Law a long time ago, and I can remember a case where someone sued a restaurant because they got shell in their clam chowder. The decision went to the supreme court (Bostonians must really enjoy their chowder), which stated in their decision, "A reasonable person might expect a bit of shell in their chowder." Since then, perhaps, we have gone off the deep end.