Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Boobies, Boobies Everywhere

I opened my browser yesterday, and what did I see? Big breasts on a side-bar. Opened another browser window, more breasts and pouty lips. A third browser bar – crap, breasts and wings. [clarification before posting: I did not see crap, it was an expression of frustration at seeing all of the breasts.]

Yes, dear readers, looks like it is almost time for the Victoria Secret annual fashion show. I have actually never seen the show, but there seems to be a lot of internet press on the subject. And it sort of pisses me off.

I remember when there were two main lingerie stores, Victoria Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood. Frederick's was the sluttier of the two stores, and VS was the classy one. I actually only purchased one item at Frederick's – black crotchless pantyhose. I used to love VS.

The only knock I had with them was that their panties were not well made. They would fall apart after a couple of hand washings. Okay, washing on the gentle cycle using Woolite, but still, they should have held up.

For a while, I was really into teddies, and VS had the cutest teddies. Now, you go into the store and they have a couple of teddies and that's all.

What I remember most from the catalog is the fantasy bra. This year, it cost $5 Million. Me and my friends would wonder who would wear such a thing. Some years, there would be a news item on who purchased the item. Most of the time, I think it was just for publicity. And VS gets its share of publicity.

This whole saturation of VS images reminds me of Coleridge's poem, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Water, water, everywhere,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink.

But instead of water . . . .

Boobies, boobies everywhere,
And all the lads did wank;
Boobies, boobies everywhere,
Nor any cum got drank.

Addendum: Looks like the reader's comments is hidden from me at this time. I think this is a Blogger/Blogspot problem.


Advizor said...

I love shopping for lingerie with my wife and girlfriends, but the selection of stores is very limited. With only VS as the major chain, at least in my area, you have to look at some of the boutique shops to get higher quality goods.

Luckily, stores like VS have made sexy lingerie more accessible, the colors more vibrant, and the styles more daring for the average woman.

DKNY has some cute stuff through Macy's, and the department stores are carrying more variety to compete against VS. There are some nice European lines but the shipping costs and mystery sizing make it difficult to shop with confidence.

And Leesa, I love your reworking of the Coleridge poem. Classic work.

Grant said...

I've reworked your rework into a more manly version:

Boobies, boobies everywhere
Uh...what was I talking about?

Leesa said...

advizor: thanks for the blog post, I mean comment.

grant: I like your poem better.

all: I think the comment thing broke today. Drats.

Advizor said...

Are you saying that I write too much? That I pontificate and expound in too much depth and breadth? In the future, when I post to your magnificent blog, I will endeavor, nay, I will strive to be more succinct, more precise, more streamlined in both my thinking, with the inevitable distractions and tangents into topics both known and unknown, and in my writing, which, inevitably, turns to an analysis of Leesa’s creativity, wit, and overpowering sensual energy.

I will keep in mind always that “Brevity is the Soul of Wit.” And I do confess, dear Leesa, that in my lack of Brevity I have proven myself witless. I will do better in the future, though, in my own defense, I believe that I bring a certain amount of value to the discussion, the forum, the marketplace of ideas, as it were.

Nonetheless, posts heretofore unyet written will be, like my penis in a cold bath, shorter.

As Coleridge once wrote:

Writers, Writers, everywhere,
And not a one can think.
They type and blog and carry on,
And all of it doth stink.

Advizor said...

I Tivo'd the VS Fashion show last night, and, if I can watch it before my wife sees it and deletes it from the list, I'll give you my review.

Ian Lidster said...

Frederick's of Hollywood: sleazy ads in the back of downmarket stroke magazines. But, boobies -- a subject that has always been dear to my heart. Remember the old Frank Zappa album 'Boobsalot'. Your musings never fail to enchante me, Leesa.

Leesa said...

advizor: nah, just trying to be funny.

advizor: I think I would like your wife. Deleting a program. My kind of woman.

ian: thanks, sweetie.

Advizor said...

I think you are very funny, and I would hope you like my wife, makes our threesome much more likely

See, I can try and be funny too....


Advizor said...

I had a few minutes and actually watched the first 20 of the VS Fashion show. I don't know how they did it, but they made beautiful women walking around in their panties boring.

Ugh, it was a snoozer. As a guy, I'm obligated to fast forward through the next 40 minutes, but I'm not looking forward to it.