Monday, May 12, 2008

Weighing In

Okay, last week I bought a new scale. I figured, "I am an American consumer, and my goal is to loose weight, so I will purchase a better devise for measuring weight." Okay, tongue-in-cheek, but I got a new scale.

This scale measures weight, but also tells you body fat, bone weight and percent water. Personally, I think the scale has some random number generator and takes guesses at much of this, but it is fun. And it looks so professional, with the LCD-numbers. LCD always looks accurate, huh?

So here I am, weighing myself every morning at 5 am, with no clothes on. Yeah, I can see me loosing one-tenth of a pound, though I think perhaps if my toes are not in the same position, perhaps, that might account for the tenth-of-a-pound.

Here is something I did not expect. My husband is using the scale. He has not used our other scale in years, but because this is new technology, he wants to use it.

So I would think, "Great, hubbie is going to work on loosing weight as well." Yeah, right.

The other day, I am in the bedroom, and I hear my husband on the scale.

Hubbie shouts to me, "Hey, Leesa, guess what?"

I yell back, "What hun?"

Hubbie answers, "My poop weighs 0.2 pounds."

"Excuse me?"

My husband explains, "I weighed myself, then pooped, then weighed myself again. And I am 0.2 pounds lighter."

I retort,"Just don't weigh poop on the scale."

Oh, yeah, and I am told that my husband's pee weighs either 0.1 pound or 0.2 pounds, depending on how much there is. Yeah, he did that experiment as well.

Oh, and by the way, the next time my husband asked me, "Hey, Leesa, guess what?", I had a different response:

"Not a clue, honey, not a clue what you are up to."


Lara said...

Whew. I feel better now. Because my husband is not the only one to weigh himself before and after. I can't begin to list all of the before and after categories.

But his poop weighs more than your husband's. And I'm sure you wanted to know that as much as I did.

グラント said...

When I want to lose weight and exercise better, I just switch to the metric system. Then I suddenly find that I weigh less than half what I did and I can jog more than 60% further than before. Also, my penis length sounds much more impressive in millimeters. I rule!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Well, I'll tell you a little secret. I LAWAYS weight myself nekkid and only AFTER I pee in the mornings. It can make a difference...;)

Anytime The PK is in the bathroom and I get a "Guess what?" or "C' GOTTA see this!" makes me shudder.


Anonymous said...

This just proves that people AREN'T FULL of sh!t.


Advizor said...

Yes! I knew I wasn't the only one. My ritual is very similar. Weigh in before, pee, poop, shower, and weigh in again. I don't particularly care about how much "it" weighs, but I'm dying to see the scale go in the right direction, down.

I also weigh in before and after running, just to make sure that my sweat weighs something.

Patriot Action said...

HE tried that TOO?!

richmanwisco said...

Ahh, now THAT'S science.

Leesa said...

lara: yeah, needed to know that, sweetie.

grant: you are a funny, funny guy.

stacy: me too. Did not want to admit the peeing part, but there it is.

edge: nice take on this.

advisor: I never weigh after a shower. There is always excess water that actually weighs something.

patriot: yes, he did. Nice to see you again.

richman: science at its finest.

Ian Lidster said...

Yes, I always attend to 'such matters' before I weigh myself, too. Probably a guy thing. Oh, and make sure you don't wear watch or rings; they count too.

Joe said...

I can't tell you how relieved I am to find out that I'm not the only one who has done that. For me, it's the main reason to own a scale!

~Deb said...

I'm afraid of the next, "Leesa, guess what" ----pure trouble with that one!
How can a scale measure body fat percentage? Don't ya hafta' be pinched??? (Well, with that device of course...)


Leesa said...

ian: funny how something that may be so universal is so secretive.

joe: for you, I believe it is the main reason to own a scale.

~deb: I think the scale uses slight electric shocks because it has a warning about pacemakers and pregnant women.

kathi said...

So funny. No matter the age, no matter the height...they're all little boys. :)

Leesa said...

kathi: but they are kinda cute, huh?