Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Grass Is Greener

Hot blond in a braless white shirt.Last week, I was exiting my local quickie stop as a woman was entering it. I noticed her not because I generally leer at women (~deb is an exception), but because she was wearing a shirt and no bra. White shirt, dark aureoles, no bra. Now, this woman was not big-chested. She reminded me of a friend who was a runner. I have a theory about runners. Women who like to run are generally flat-chested.

How the heck can you not know that people can see your nipples?

When I was younger, I wanted to be flatter. I developed young, so I guess I thought the "grass was always greener...." I always thought I could do more with less up there. I thought I could run faster, that I could be taken more seriously, that more men would stare at my eyes. I also thought I could increase my wardrobe options. Of course, dating a woman who wears the same dress size would increase my wardrobe as well. Well, just saying.

Then, the other day, The Peanut Queen tells us about a new bra that enables a woman to store wine in her own bra. Now, if you had small ta-tas, you could theoretically store more wine in your bra. Of course, at $29.95, the bras are probably less than supportive. Carrying an addition two pounds of boobage, though, might really look strange. I can imagine sloshing while walking. For me, if I am going to wear a wine bra, I am going to have enough wine to do some damage.

I have found popcorn in my bra before. If I was more flat chested, I don't think this would have ever been the case. Hey, I was in college, drunk, and watching art films with a bunch of friends. There are many reasons for having said popcorn in my bra. Don't judge me, man.

So basically, I have wanted to be flat-chested because:

1. I could run faster;
2. Men would look at my eyes;
3. I want to wear some wine bra that turns me from a woman into an alcoholic camel; and
4. I want to keep popcorn away from my boobs.

Maybe the grass looks greener, but it's only because of the horse poop used to fertilize it.

14 comments:

Grilled Pizza said...

I took it a step further and went and had a breast reduction!
Know where you're coming from!
GP x

Ian Lidster said...

For women re breasts, the grass is always greener. My first wife was small-ish, and always wanted big boobs. My second and current wives are both delightfully larger. Both hate their tits and want to be smaller.
But, you know, I am of the mind that they're all lovely, regardless of size. But, dear, if you want to really mesmerize me, then let me look at your eyes for I'm at heart a 'face man'.

グラント said...

Those of us who appreciate Asian women tend to prefer the smaller breasts. I've seen some Asians with large boobs (some natural, some store-bought) and it often looks wrong. Actually, I think most women look best in their natural state. You and ~deb should definitely make out and post the pics.

Leesa said...

grilled pizza: I have known a few who have had reductions.

ian: I need to remain annon. I don't want to own my words.

grant: I think most men prefer breasts they can fondle.

Edge said...

So what is your bra size?

~Jef

random moments said...

I'm totally with you on this one. I'm a D, but hide it well with bad posture that I believe I got from trying to hide them in the first place.

I kind of wonder though, if I had less boobage, would I wear white shirts with no bra? Maybe. I imagine that feels a little like FREEDOM.

Oh well, maybe in another lifetime. :)

Leesa said...

edge: not huge if that's what you mean. 36-C.

moments: yeah, I slumped over all through middle school and probably into high school. I always carried my books in front of me as well.

Advizor said...

At a previous job, a lifetime away, there was a beautiful attorney who was the flattest adult woman I have ever seen. Almost nothing, just barely an "A" cup I found out later, but she had the best nipples ever.

She would wear very expensive, very tight silk t-shirts under a suit coat when she was going to court, all very professional, but when we worked together in the office the coat came off, the nipples came out, and I had a very difficult time concentrating on anything.

Occasionally she would wear a starched white blouse and leave several buttons undone because she had nothing to hide cleavage-wise, but anyone (especially me) who stood behind her could see right down her shirt, and gaze upon them. Quite delightful.

And yes, she was a runner.

SSC said...

That was very interesting, I think I might need to get that bra.

I understand with the whole wanting to be flat chested. I mentioned that to my Sicilian Grandmother and she freaked out, she said be happy you have boobs. Other people are paying to have what you have. Gotta love Grandmas!!!!

After our third child I think I might want to have a reduction and a tummy tuck.

Anonymous said...

Runners typically have smaller chest because women with larger chests hurt and are uncomfortable when running.

Lila said...

I'm a flat chested woman (probably the same size as the woman in the picture above) and as a teenager I definitely wished my boobs were bigger (I grew up in the 90s when Baywatch/ Pamela Anderson/ big boobs were all the rage). So yeah, it's true you always tend to wish you had what you don't have!
You hit on something that people don't always understand about being flat chested...I get frequently asked why I bother to wear a bra if I don't need one. I don't have breasts, but I do have nipples! I would look very "pointy" in tight shirts if I went braless...
Funny you mentioned the runner thing, I use to run cross country and track in high school.

Dave said...

"How the heck can you not know that people can see your nipples?"

She knew, and didn't care. I see a supremely confident young woman who is comfortable with who/what she is...no aftermarket add-ons for her. If she were my daughter, I would be very proud of her.

People see my nipples all the time...what is there about a double standard that you find positive?

Okay, that sounds more confrontational than I intended. I like your blog, please don't take offense.

That said, this whole nipple thing perplexes me---women display cleavage by the acre, and yet they go to extravagent lengths to create the illusion that they have no nipples.

Give me a woman who looks like a woman (not a contrived approximation) every time.

Paul said...

What is the big deal about your nipples showing?

If you do not like your nipples cut them off.

"Nipplectomy"?

anu said...

it was amazing.. i need to more about bra sizes... and how beautiful they look without bra...