Thursday, September 13, 2007

Leesa Springbutt and Yahoo Answers

I have a confession to make: I was the girl in class that always answered questions from the teacher. Yeah, I was little miss springbutt, always with my hand in the air, always wanting to answer questions.

And, guess what? Well, I just found Yahoo Answers, where you can log onto the site and answer other people's questions. Google had a site where you could get paid for answering questions, but it did not really catch my attention. Was it Google? Maybe Yahoo or someone else?

Anyway, I logged onto it the other day, just playing around, and I started answering questions. I answered five or six questions, then thought better of my time. Well, tonight I am informed, one of the question askers rated my answer the best answer of the bunch.

Here is the question. Drum Roll please.

Does she have lesbian tendancies?
A few months back my girlfriend approached me with the idea of wanting to see what I would look like with makeup. She wanted to apply it and possbily (sic) dress me in her lingere (sic) before making love. So what do you think?

Sooo. According to Yahoo Answers, I am an expert in lesbianism. Straight Catholic girl an expert on whether some guy's wife has lesbian tendencies.

Oh, and my answer: the other night when she came over, she did not make a move on me during the bra-and-panty-clad pillow fight. So I think she does not have lesbian tendencies, though she has really good taste in bra-and-panty sets.

Okay, not really. I mean, I really answered the question, but my answer was more heart-felt.

My real answer: I am a clinical psychologist at Duke Medical Center, and I do not believe your wife shows lesbian tendencies. But you want her to, don't you? You want her in a threesome, don't you?

Okay, another BS answer. Not my real answer either. 1

I sort of want to post questions myself.

Possible question: I just got over a really bad relationship with a celebrity. Trouble is, I took lots of nude pictures of him, and now I am torn. Do I just discard the evidence, or do I sell the pictures to a tabloid for $50K? What are the moral and legal implications?

Possible question: What is the safest way to remove a light bulb from my lover's anus? He is married and cannot go to the ER, and we have to remove it without leaving marks? His wife is a bit near-sighted and not very bright. His anus, of course, is not very bright either – no electricity.

You know, there are hundreds of ways to waste the day at work with an Internet connection. This is just one way to do so for the show-off2 in me.

1Okay, the real question can be found here. And I found the answer under recent questions, not "homosexual, bisexual, and transgendered." I just looked under recent questions, regardless of my expertise in the matter. And, by the way, were I homosexual, bisexual or transgendered, it would piss me off to be linked to the other two categories. I mean, really. Oh, and since I wrote this, I was the best answer for two other posts - one on pregnancy (and I have never been pregnant) and one on retirement (and my retirement plan is either to stay married or become a bag lady).

2Oh, and people who comment on blogs are sort of springbutts too, did you notice? Springbutt = someone who springs up to answer a question, sort of like there is a spring in their butt. Oh, and my most clever answer to date.


Black Jack Bauer said...

I debated for a while if I would respond to this post. Didn't want to be labeled a "springbutt" - especially since no one else had posted a comment yet.

But you wrote about lesbian 3somes, so I felt an obligation to mankind to respond. I'm not doing this for me...I'm doing it for the kids.

I think dude's wife is definitely a freak and more so, I think dude wanted to put the lingerie on. In fact, I think any man who wants to be in a 3some with lesbians - deep down - wishes he were female so that he could be a hot lesbian.

Here's a question for you, Mrs. Springbutt...

If you could be anyone else for a year, who would that person be and why?

I'll go first...

If I could be anyone else for a year, I would be Tom Brady.

Dude is living the dream. 3 Superbowl wins, rich, starting QB in the NFL, 27 years old, dates hot models.


Jen said...

Leesa! hahaha...i was literally laughing out loud while reading your story are way too funny...i do enjoy reading your stuff...i'm really glad i stumbled upon your page :)

Yippeeskip said...

To remove a lightbulb from an ass if it breaks-cut a potato in half and press against the broken edges then pull it out.
-Lesbian Springbutt

Leesa said...

Black Jack Bauer: well, my answer let him do what he wanted to do (dress like a girl), and have his wife do what she wants to do. With the Judeo-Christian ethic, this may have been the only way for this to happen.

jen: glad I made you laugh. It was fun to write as well.

yippeeskip: er, a little too much information. Thanks, sweetie, for the comment.

Anonymous Boxer said...


You're a little know-it-all, aren't you?


Jade Aomori said...

Leesa, I lost my way while pressing all kind of button on my laptop and found you via your Flickr link.

I enjoyed to read someone else also use internet to improve your writing skill. I have used internet to improve my English language skill through writing, since 10 years ago. Now, I think I am improved, but I am also hooked, like having some kind of commenter-itis addiction or something. Maybe one day I will become famous about this and end up on Oprah...who knows. Perhaps I should also practice my sofa jumping ability too, before its too late. ;P

I really like many of your answer here, but especially as Duke psychologist! You really put it to him, didn't you? ;D

I also couldn't help but(t) to think when I read about your light bulb situation...they really had to think hard on how to correct that problem. Usually, when someone has bright idea, some imaginary light bulb pops up over their head. I couldn't help but to imagine what if any of them had some great idea how to get that light bulb out of his anus...would the one in his butt light up instead of appearing over his head? Eureka! LOL =P

Gosh, I guess I must now live with shame of being officially branded as *springbutt* now. Is there any official logo for this?

Kind regards and happy writing.

RWA said...

Well, I'll be.

I would never have guessed you to be an expert on lesbians, children AND retirement.

I am most impressed.

mal said...

I guess that makes me Ms. Springbutt?

Doesn't the answer to dressing in the girl friends lingerie depend on how it looked on him? *L*

As far as the light bulb in the ass goes? The guy never should have been "screwing" around in the first place!! *runs for cover*

Leesa said...

boxer: I always wanted to know how to spell "Bwahahaha!"

jade: wow, I guess I should use proper grammer on here, huh? Oooops, did it again.

rwa: I would have thought previous posts would have impressed you. I am a writer, not an expert. But I play an expert on Yahoo Answers.

mal: that lightbulb joke was bad. Made me laugh, but bad. Sort of re-defines lightbulb jokes. "Q: How many anal sex people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know, but it takes a medical team and a potato to remove the lightbulb."

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