Monday, July 23, 2007

Depressed about Harry Potter

Saturday morning, the UPS delivery man arrived at my door by 9:30 am, and delivered the final Harry Potter book. I left it in its original box and did some shopping.

When I drive, I listen to either old rock-and-roll (and it makes me feel old, knowing the music I listened to as a teenager is now classic rock1) or NPR2. Well, there was some quasi-game show on NPR (Michael Feldman's Whad'Ya Know) and they were talking with someone related to the show. Well, either someone related to the show or someone in the audience. The woman – you can call her bitch – spoiled the first 57 pages of the book. Thanks, bitch.

Anyway, I turned to one of my other pre-sets, because classic Queen will probably not reveal anything concerning Voldemort, Harry Potter or the Ron Weesley/Hermione Granger relationship.

After dinner, I started reading the book. And I continued to read the book after my husband went to sleep.

At about 11 pm, I was looking around the house. Everything was quiet, with the only light casting its glow on my and my book. I peered over my book, and everything was quiet, simply quiet.

When I was growing up, our house was always noisy. Me and my two sibs always seemed to have friends over. In the summertime, we would be out and about fairly early in the morning, and the action did not stop until late in the evening.

Friends frequently had dinner at our house, and afterwards, we would play games, listen to music (loudly, bouncing on the bed when younger, in the driveway talking to friends when a bit older), play cards (of all things), or just chat (while eating). In short, our childhood home was alive with people.

So I am sitting in a comfortable chair, in a house that is larger than the one I grew up in, and I start to cry. It seems that life does not always go the way you plan. My husband and I have no children, no little noise makers messing up the carpet, breaking our stuff. And I want those things.

I have heard young adults talk about Harry Potter – how they grew up with the book series. Here I am in my mid-thirties3, late at night, reading a kid's book. I would have much rather have been reading Dr. Seus to a cute four-year-old. Now that would be magic!

1It is a sad, twisted world when Wham is considered classic anything.

2 National Public Radio; now I really feel old.

3We are in our mid-thirties until 39.


RWA said...

I have to agree about "classic rock." It's bad enough that they're playing music I grew up with, but then some of the songs they pick from that time to call "classics"? Please!!!!

~Deb said...

NPR is great! But I'm with you----I wrote something similiar, about thinking we want this, when we're actually seeking something else. But, I think you may have gotten a bit nostalgic, and there's nothing wrong with that. I get that a lot too.

What's the hype about Harry Potter anyway? Are the books THAT good?

kathi said...

I understand completely. I've been exactly where you are and I've cried those tears. I didn't get pregnant with my oldest until I nearly 35 (15 years of trying). It was hard wanting it so badly and it seemed every where I looked there were reminders of what others had and how badly I wanted it.

I do love and care about you. Sometimes the present completely sucks, but the future is worth it.

LarryLilly said...

Harry Potter may not be Dickens, they may not even be Stephen King, but what they are are books that are being read, and that is important. I mean, unless your the doofus of the US, where probably all you read was Georgie being born on third base, and then grew up dreaming he hit a triple, any book reading is worth it.

As far as the children thing, I know, its difficult, you can do something, so if its a shared wish, what keeps it from happening.

Then if its one way, yeah, life is what we do while we make other plans.

T said...

Quite a post to start the week of with. Made me feel good and bad at the same time. I fully understand the music comments. I listen to almost anything (except the 80's)but mostly blues and classic 60's and 70's rock. Radio sucks so thank God for my Ipod. That was the feel good part. the feel bad is thinking about your feelings of an empty quiet house. I can't imagine the feelings you have except that both my wife and I are from large families and we have created a large noisy family,so I tried to imagine what it would be like without all the noise Leesa, so I do feel for you.

Prata said...

The Harry Potter books are mediocre at best. They are not at all innovative and have some continuity problems. Also, the author tends to simply give the characters the answer rather than them really working for it. The phrase for that I believe is "hand of god" on the part of the author. They are basically, books about magic based quite a bit on the foundations laid by Tolkien and his ilk long prior. I don't thinks he's that much of a story teller myself.

Leesa said...

rwa: when I think classic rock, I think 60s.

kathi: thanks for sharing! I appreciate it.

~deb: the books are entertaining but not great. Sometimes we know what we want but don't try hard enough to get it.

larry: I actually think Potter is like S. King. Really. I thought this yesterday - about the stories being addictive and a fast read.

t: thanks, sweetie. I bet your house sings.

prata: I understand your HP comments. I think the auther is getting better (the first three books had a good story but the writing was not there). She has gotten better, but she is no Dickens.

Pyth0s said...

Harry Harry Harry, everywhere I look these days it's about Harry. I hate him so much now, was fun when it was new, now it's become yet another Monopoly Monster in our lives. When something gets so large and so commercialized I lose interest in it quite quickly.

As for children, I never wanted one, but my wife was very persistent. And we were blessed with one. I still remember when Satan's spawn was born, she has fiery red hair and piercing blue eyes. She was the end of many of my "hobbies" she was the end of a lot of my personal enjoyment time, she is the cause of many of my headaches and my stress but when I look at her little beelzebubish face, I know that all the sacrifices I have suffered have been worth every minute she has been in my life.

If the reason your husband does not want a child is because of the fright of losing part of his life, tell him he'll find a whole new world in the new life he helped create!



Dr. Deb said...

I feel like you do as well. I have to say, though, that the Potter series gave my kids the joy of reading. I'm grateful for that.

Kat said...

There's something about that last book. I read it this weekend too and cried for the friend who originally introduced me to the series and then cried some more because my kids are grown and my place is just way too quiet. Your husband doesn't want any kids?

richmanwisco said...

now i've been listening to michael feldman since i was 22. and that started 21 years ago. i don't feel that much older.

mal said...


I do on occasion whine about the girls but they really have enriched our lives.

I wish I knew what to say


Prata said...

That should have been a "she's" not a "he's", my bad. Anyhow, definitely no Dickens but who is these days? lol

Leesa said...

pyth0s: with 8.3 million copies being sold the first day, Harry can be annoying. But you know, I read that kids now read more books per year. Coincidence? Perhaps, but a good thing.

dr. ~deb: yeah, I think that is great for your children.

kat: we are an infertile couple. Have been talking about adopting, but we have been going through some other things lately.

richman: I have recently found out that some people don't like Feldman. Thinks he is condescending.

mal: thanks for the hugs.

prata: I wonder who will become a Dickens. Someone writing now will.

Ian Lidster said...

I think we're in our mid-30s until our mid-50s, and afer that we're forever in our early 40s.

seattledrizzle said...

The best rock was composed in the 60's, 70's, and 80's. As a friend of mine said, the best thing about the 90's is that they are over. ;)Still there are gems that you hear here and there, like More Than Words by Extreme, or Santeria by Sublime, or Check On It by Beyonce, but I'm not sure there is the enormous amount of outpouring of creativity like there was in the 60's and 70's.