Thursday, November 15, 2007

Double Standards

I don't normally watch the news.

I learned about the wildfires in California two days after they started. This morning I heard about some upticks in the economy, and George W. Bush was reelected president. Okay, I am not that bad (with regard to the president).

But over the last few days, I have heard two stories that are sort of connected, by theme at least.

In one story, some 13-year-old boy1, an illegal alien, ran off with his 25-year-old teacher to Mexico. Well, turns out they found her and are bringing her back on statutory rape charges. She met him in sixth grade, and they ran off together while he was in eighth grade. Sad thing is that she has another child, currently staying with her parents.

There was another piece of news where a Wisconsin mother who told her children a little too much about sex. Apparently she was charged with exposing children to improper instruction – I forget the proper legal terms. She told her two boys, 11 and 15, about oral sex and showed them a sex toy. The older boy was troubled with this and told a school counselor. Me, I don't want people to imply that my parents ever had sex. I just don't want to be scarred by the image.

In the first story, there is a bit of snickering. Actually, some say that not only is the boy lucky, but that he may be able to come back to the US legally, with a 4-year-VISA. No public outcry, really.

The second story was a bit more tragic. Maybe the mother was a little misguided, but it did not seem criminal. It was criminal, since she pled guilty, there was a court date, judge and all. But you know what I mean.

There is a double-standard regarding exposing children to sex. And these are children.

A boy has sex with an older woman, and there are grins all around. A girl has sex with an older man and people are calling for the removal of his testicles. And I am as guilty as the next person. I have suggested gardening shears be used.

And I may have figured it out after all this time. When I was sixteen years old, if you took a naked picture of me and compared me to 18 or 21, my appearance – sans hairstyle – would have been nearly identical. Physically, I was an adult at sixteen.

Emotionally, however, I was still a child – an adolescent, but still not really a grown-up. I may have thought I was a young woman, but after becoming one, I realized that I was an adolescent when in high school. I almost typed "just an adolescent", but you know adolescence can be quite wonderful.

I think statutory rape laws protect children against themselves. I still don't know why we snicker when talking about boys in that way. I guess I don't have all of the answers today.

1Some reports say he is a bit older.


Prata said...

The problem as I see it, is that laws are largely created today as a way to dictate morals to people. You should not have laws that protect children from themselves. That's what parents are for. I see absolutely nothing wrong with what that mother did. Do you or anyone else have any idea what the two children may have been caught doing or may have asked her that guided her to doing it? I don't think we really have an accurate picture of that. When the media is involved is there ever really a truly accurate picture of what is happening? No, I can't say there is. The media blitz kind of mutes the real issues.

I started having sex late (relatively speaking). My friends were all having sex way before I was, but not because I didn't know about it. I knew what the hell was going on, but I was picky. I still am picky lol.

If at sixteen you're still naive, you have no one to blame but yourself and the way society has retarded your growth as an intellectual. Why is that? Because the human body is the dictator of what you can and can not do. If a 18 year old man has sex with a 15 year old girl, do you really think she didn't know what she was doing? I mean really? Guys get locked up for that sort of thing, but in the very same state you can get locked up in for doing it, not all that long ago and even today you can marry that girl at that age. Do you (in the general sense not particularly you) not see something wrong with that? Double Standards indeed. If you don't, then you probably didn't grow up in the inner city. I did, and I have not seen any 15 year old girls screwing that didn't want to screw and certainly didn't know any that did it because they were tricked into it.

Children are born manipulators. That is a fact, and if a 15 year old girl or 15 year old boy is wise enough to use sex as a means to an end, they are not naive, and laws shouldn't be used to police their actions in that manner. They are not harming society, unless you count their burden on welfare if they are not quick enough in the head to find a support structure to become productive members of society; however, laws so far haven't prevented that anyway. So obviously the law doesn't make much of a difference.

Anonymous said...

I'm reminded of a local story involving a group of eight teens ranging from 15 to 18 who made their own amateur porno video. The police found out, got hold of the tape, and did the typical thing - all under 16 were labeled victims, males over 18 were charged with statutory rape, and the rest were ignored. Note - we don't have any real crime in Atlanta, so the poor legal system is stuck pursuing cases like these.

- Grant

Ian Lidster said...

I had a discussion about that with a shrink friend a while ago. I think it was to do with the teacher in Seattle who did a number of years inside for screwing one of her young charges. I, being male, suggested that it would be the realization of a fantasy for a young male to have sex with an adult woman. My friend said we assume that the idea is really hot. But, he said that he had seen a number of male clients who had been sexualized at an early age in that way, and that there was a lot more psycho-sexual damage than most males would imagine.

As for my parents, they only had sex three times, because there are three children. I don't want to think about them doing it more than that, and they only did it to procreate, not because they liked it.

Video X said...

I was in a conversation a couple weeks ago with my sister. She actually mentioned something to me about sex...a referral having to do with sex, her, and her husband. It hit me that my sister and I have really never discussed sex. I was completely weirded out. My mother has been divorced since I was 5 and hasn't dated in ages. Thankfully, I don't have to think about my parents having sex!

Leesa said...

prata: okay, I am a bit argumentative with you. I agree with most of what you say. But when you said, "You should not have laws that protect children from themselves." So if a 15-year-old wants to pose nude or play a bit part in a porno? The money is good, yeah, so I have heard, but most of us want to protect children from themselves. But going from the extreme (which I have done) to more reasonable would suggest that people less than 18 cannot be held accountable legally for entering into contracts. Protecting children from themselves.

grant: good point.

ian: I suspected that, but thanks for the confirmation.

vx: and I assume your sister has never had sex either. I know my sister does not have sex. Neither does the woman who cuts my hair. Her hands have never touched anything I would not have in my hair.