Bizarre Lying

I called into work this morning, and I lied. Funny thing is that I was sick, but I lied about it.

I said that I was "under the weather", meaning I had a cold, but that was a lie. Let me explain what really happened.

Yesterday, I was working out in the early evening. I normally work out a few days per week, on the ellipticals. I used to call them stair-steppers, but that is so 1990s.

I normally listen to my iPod, but I did not get a chance to charge the battery, so I used the ear buds to listen to what was on the tube. Well, some movie came on, and I started watching it. My elipticals last 30 minutes, but the 1/2-hour workout was not enough time to watch the movie. So I continued to use the machine and watch.

And I continued and continued. Well, during the workout, I had to grab my cell phone and call hubbie, explaining that I was watching a movie. He sort of laughed at me. I mean, it is sort of pitiful, us without cable, me watching some lame movie.

Well, I went home later than I wanted to go home, had eaten something on the way, and went to bed a little earlier than normal.

I woke up the next morning, and I could not move my legs. The alarm went off, and I could not move my legs.

I did not want to call work and say, "I am sorry, I cannot go to work this morning because I cannot move my legs." The translation is normally "I had hot sex all last night and my legs don't work." And that was just not the case. I mean, I was watching a movie, not having sex.

So I lied.

I am told that the only way to feel better is to work my legs. Holy crap, this is a bizarre and topsy-turvy world.

Polls

I have noticed that I am being asked a lot about myself, about my opinion. Sometimes the polls are telephone polls – and I always make time to answer them. The reason is that I have unusual opinions, and I like being outside of the normal range. I don't have cable, I don't drink coffee, I don't watch sports. Oh, and I do not affiliate myself with either the Republican or Democratic parties. So since they interrupt my dinner or book, I am going to be an outlier in their data. Dewey defeats Truman and all.

One think I have noticed, as well, is that a boatload of websites ask you to take polls. Most of the time, I don't take the polls – they are not scientific, and well, they sometimes are poorly written. Something in the pit of my stomach sometimes wonders if they change their cookies to say, "Don't let Leesa read the really interesting content because she did not complete our poll or questionnaire."

One site in particular asks about printers. I have gone to answering correctly to making up bizarre answers. So if Hewlett Packard has a bad quarter, I think they did it because they were trying to capture the Leesa blogger segment. Having completed a dozen or so questionnaires, I think I deserve being my own market segment.

So the next time you are faced with a questionnaire, perhaps you should make a game of it. I have taken different tactics, to answers these questions.

Making Patterns
My first foray into answering questionnaires was to answer all of a particular letter. But that is sort of predictable, boring. Then I would do the A-B-C-D-C-B-A type of patterns. And eventually, I would hum a tune and try to answer as the questions in the order of the tune. The answers would be a bit more random, well, not really random (tunes are not random notes, well most tunes).

Pretending
My actually favorite tactic for answering questionnaires is to pretend I am someone else. Not people I know, but famous people. I have pretended to be Shakira, Ivana Trump, Elizabeth Bayley Seton (sue me, I am Catholic), George Eliot (aka Mary Ann Evans), and Britney Spears (I needed a shot after pretending to be Britney). It has the allure of fantasy, as well as the mental efforts of pre-supposing how they would answer such questions. Oh, and by the way, I believe the George Eliot would vote for Mike Huckabee, though she lived in an age where she could not vote.

Well, the next time you hear of a Gallop Poll saying that were the election held today, Americans would vote for Meatloaf, don't believe it. Just consider who wastes their time answering the polls, and their true intentions.

On ex-boyfriends and beer sluts

I had a dream last night, and although it was not about my college days, it reminded me of a particular experience when I was in college.

When I was in college, I was in loooooove. Not my first love, but a love. Let's call him Robert. He would say his name was Rob, but I always called him Robert. He was handsome, fit, and his family had money. We dated for a while, and we broke it off. Well, he mostly broke it off.

It was my first break-up in college. Now high school break-ups can be traumatic, but in high school, there seemed to be more of a social network to catch one's broken heart. There were girlfriends to talk with, mothers to bake goods to comfort me, and Ben and Jerry's.

In college, the social network is a bit more spotty. Not as many girlfriends, but girlfriends nonetheless. Parents are further from home, meals are not home-cooked – and more importantly, the sit-down dinner does not exist.

So after Robert and I broke up, I eventually got over him. I will admit now that part of the hard part of getting over him was that he was "marriage material." The first man I ever thought was "marriage material."

Well, time past and I dated other men.

Then one day, a friend ushered me into her room one night with news. Her eyes were wide, she was grinning, and she had to tell me something. From looking at her face, it was either that she was engaged or some juicy piece of gossip. It turned out to be gossip.

My ex-Robert, known to all as Rob, had a drunken encounter with someone else in the dorm. No one I knew real well, but she was non-affectionately called a beer slut. She was a nice enough girl, but when she would get a few beers in her, she was a temptress. Okay, that seems to be a lot more romantic than calling her a slut.

Anyway, she and Rob had sex, and apparently Rob was sort of wasted as well. Not surprising. Well, that is Rob. What was surprising to Beer Slut is that Rob passed out. Been there.

Well, Beer Slut – I need to give her a better name, perhaps Veronica – did not like the passing out, and she was a little pissed. Let's just say that Veronica left that night but had deposited a little something on Rob's chest. Not sure Veronica thought this through, because the story had legs and made its way to my ears.

Oh, and not that I am proud of this, but I loved Veronica's exit that evening.

So the moral of the story is that you should not drink or some beer slut may poop on your chest.

Christmas Shows and Movies

As Thanksgiving gives way to Christmas, the networks and I am assuming cable companies are giving us a parade of Christmas specials. Now, don't get me wrong, I like technology, but it sort of takes away from what I remember as Christmas specials.

Let us review.

Before cable¹, the networks would air various Christmas specials throughout the season. They would start the week after Thanksgiving, and they were played exactly one time.

Charlie Brown Christmas special, played exactly once. If you missed the airing, you would not hear Charlie Brown shout in desperation, "Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?" Or Linus call for lights and illuminate Charlie Brown on the true meaning of Christmas.

One of the best, of course, is The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. And not the Jim Carey version. I can still hear Boris Karloff say: "The Grinch hated Christmas - the whole Christmas season. Oh, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. Or maybe his head wasn't screwed on just right. But I think that the best reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small."

One little known fact is that the actress² that was the voice for Cindy Lou Who also was the voice for Grandmother Fa.

You know, I have lots of DVDs of favorite Christmas specials, and it sort of ruins it, in a way. It makes it less special because I can place the The Bishop's Wife DVD in the player anytime and watch Cary Grant be his suave self as the angel, putting everyone's priorities back in order. On demand movies, TV shows and the like make these productions less special. Especially during the most wonderful time of the year.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
With the kids jingle belling
And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"
It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
It's the hap -happiest season of all
With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings
When friends come to call
It's the hap - happiest season of all ³

---

¹Okay cable was out there but we did not have it. Still don't.
²Her name is June Foray; she was in lots of movies, TV shows and other acting stuff. Her most famous voice role was the Bullwinkle's Rocky the Squirrel.
³It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, by Eddie Pola and George Wyle.

All Things Football

SEC discussion – not really important
Okay, my Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets lost to Georgia this weekend. Okay, I am bummed. But we will not talk about how Georgia Tech lost the game. Let's talk about the BCS for a moment. After another shake-up with the two top teams, here is how several teams are now ranked in the BCS system:

1. Missouri
2. West Virginia
3. Ohio State
4. Georgia
7. LSU
12. Hawaii
14. Tennessee

Now, I don't know a lot about football, but I can read the top rankings. Here is what is weird: next week LSU (#7 in the BCS) will play Tennessee ($14 in the BCS) for the SEC championship.

Yeah, I know, I know. The SEC is not the ACC. (Slight jab at the SEC.) But next week, someone will be crowned the SEC champion, and there is a chance, if Missouri and West Virginia both loose next week, that Georgia could be playing Ohio State for the national championship. So there is a chance that someone who is third in the SEC could be the national champion.

Now, except that I hate Georgia, that would be fine with me. That will show that the whole BCS national champion business is flawed.

Hawaii's woes
I don't know who is better, but here is something that is really weird. Hawaii is the only NCAA 1A school without a loss, and they are ranked #12 in the BCS. Yeah, Yeah, strength of schedule. But here is the weird part: Ohio State is ranked #3 with one loss, and they only beat – let me look it up – zero teams that were ranked in the top 20 (not sure what the poll is, but it is the one that they use to hype games – AP poll, I think). And the 11-0 Hawaii, with their easy-breezy schedule, played one team in the top 20. So Hawaii had one more victory over a top 20 team and one fewer loss, and they are ranked 9 places below Ohio State.

Thanksgiving Holiday

Travel Day
Today is the busiest travel day of the year. I heard this every year I traveled back home when I was in college. And as a busy day, it was a deadly day. Now I hear that the President is making the holiday travel better. Our president.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

I have traveled by plane on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and it is sort of thrilling. As long as you don't care if you actually make it to our destination.

Thanksgiving Day
I love going to other relatives for Thanksgiving. I enjoy the food, of course, but it is more than that. It is that all of us are spending time together, to pull together a meal that lasts for hours.

I don't know how your relatives do this, but we eat about 1:00 PM, and the initial dinner lasts a couple of hours, more or less. But it does not really end. After dessert, and having the men retire to football (yes, both the Detroit and Dallas games), we clean up and do a bit of catching up. This is the good conversations. Not the stiff beginning conversation.

We talk about relatives that are not there, about past Thanksgivings, about our plans from "Dark Friday" to New Years. And it is a lot of fun. And by the time the dinner is put away, it seems that we are informally eating dinner. Not that we stopped eating when putting dinner away.

Thanksgiving is great. And after the chemicals from the turkey kick in, we take little naps throughout the rest of the visit. Being relatives, it is nice to be talking to someone, and then dozing off to sleep on the couch. A wonderful feeling.

Black Friday
Black Friday, one of the busiest shopping days of the year, is an adventure. Now, I don't normally participate in the events. I love going shopping the day after Christmas. That was the shopping day when I was growing up. I love Christmas ornaments, and that is the best time to shop for them.

Now, I like shopping, and I really like Christmas shopping, but Black Friday is not my kind of day. I like strolling, watching people, as well as shopping, and I like doing it on sporadic days during December.

Well, I don't thing I will be posting Thursday or Friday since I will be taking the days off. Happy Thanksgiving!

Economics 301

I took one business class in college. It was a general business class for non-majors and "not so bright" business majors that have rich daddies. And in this business class, we received a taste for accounting (the Brussels sprouts of business, good for you but no one really like it), business law (tofu, no one really understands what tofu is, but they know they have to eat it), marketing (pizza, easy to understand and everyone likes it), finance (spinich, tastes good, but you really don't know why) and economics (white rice, a lot of starch, not a lot of nutritional value).

Okay, that's what I thought until recently.

My husband and I went to a lecture by an economist. Not my cup-o-tea, but I had to attend the lecture. When I think of economics, I think of supply side, I think of "butter and guns", I think of voodoo economics (thanks to Bush without the W – remember he charged Reagan with that). But this lecture was different.

This man talked about economics in a different way – he made it seem interesting, made it seem more real. And it was not about money. He made economics about incentives. And that makes sense to me. I mean, money makes transactions easier, but most people do not buy and sell things because of the money. They do so because of what money represents.

For instance, I have ten dollars in my purse, and if I pass a coffee shop (not Starbucks), I can enter and purchase a fived dollar cup of flavored coffee if the value of the coffee exceeds the five dollars in my purse.

Oh, that example is not about incentives. Try this one.

Lets say I make $35,000/year doing a fairly trivial job. It is 40 hours per week, with no overtime, and no real mental stress. I am offered a "managerial job" that pays $40,000/year, with potential for me working an additional 20 hours per week, with more mental stress. Well, that's about 1,000 hours. So I would be working for $5/hour for the extra hours, and my job would be tougher. So for me, the incentive is just not there.

In college, I was always unsure of buying guns or butter, especially since I had little experience with either. I was part of the Parkay® generation (butter-Parkay®). Me, I am liking this new economics.

Tapped Out Monday

I have writer's block. I don't want to write for NaNo, and I can't think of anything to write about today. On Friday, I wrote a blog entry, and I thought it was pretty good. But I doubt many people even read it.

And the kicker was that I was on a writing role, having taken the day off, and my husband came home early. Son-of-a-bitch. I probably would have written two additional blog entries, plus another 3,000 words for NaNo. Son-of-a-bitch.

There are times when I just want to sit at home and write. And it got ruined.

Part of the reason I was a bit bummed is that I have been a bit depressed lately, and my writing has suffered. It seemed, on Friday, that this changed. But after the interruption – okay, there were a couple of very pleasant orgasms as a part of the interruption – I could not write again. At the time, I sort of didn't care, but here it is Monday and I have nothing to write about.

Someone told me to write about football. Like I can contribute to a conversation about football. I don't really watch football. When I was in high school, I attended games, and the games were more of a social event than a spectator sport. That's the great thing about football. It has something for everyone. I like the social aspects – the getting food, the talking to "neighbors", the watching the sidelines. High school football is intimate. Now, I don't know much about football – I do know that you want to get the football into the endzone – but the positions. There is a quarterback, a half-back, a fullback. Now there is always a quarterback, but not always a half-back or fullback. That sort of doesn't make sense.

But it does not have to make sense as long as they sell nachos dripping with fake cheese. Have you ever noticed that everything goes better with cheese? And if not cheese, perhaps chocolate. Chocolate and whipped cream. Yeah, my lunch sort of sucked today. No cheese, chocolate or whipped cream.

So today, I have not much to say. Were I you, I would re-read Friday's post. It might be random, but at least I wrote something worth reading.

Random Friday #11

Link Exchange
I don't get why people ask me to exchange links. Not on this blog anymore, but on another one I maintain. I mean, you should link to a blog if you believe it is of interest to you or your readers. Conversely, the other blogger should link to back your blog if she believes it's good for her readers. Linking should be about quality, about fit, not reciprocation.

When someone asks to trade links, what they are really saying is "I don't really like your site enough to link to it. If I did, I'd already have your link up. But, even though your site isn’t worth linking to, I’ll do it anyway if you’ll link back."

Reminds me a little like exchanging oral sex offers. If the guy really doesn't want to do it, the oral sex isn't all that great. The same is true of link exchanges.

College Football
I follow one team in college football, and thankfully for me, they are not in the hunt for the national championship. Unlike most sports, there is no tournament for the national championship. This is not the case because of "academic integrity"; that the players need to study. Even NCAA I-AA football has a championship, and one could argue that their schools are more interested in players needing an education.

If my team were in the running, I would not be able to explain changes in the rankings. Hawaii, not my team but a proven underdog, has slipped in the rankings by winning. Now, I know they have no quality wins, but neither did Ohio State. Not really.

I don't know enough about football to be able to tell which team is better. All I know is that when looking at who beats whom, both Ohio State and Hawaii have not beaten a top twenty team this season. Even if Ohio State beats Michigan, well, Michigan is not a top twenty team. Oh, and if Hawaii beats Boise State, they will have beaten a top twenty team. Now, that does not mean that Hawaii is better than Ohio State, but there are lots of teams who have beaten several top twenty (and even top ten) teams.

I would sort of hate to root for Hawaii. Sort of like being an Auburn alum a few years ago. Perfect season, and did not get to play for the national championship. I am so glad that I don't take football seriously.

Great Hair
David Krumholtz has the nicest hair. Why isn't he all over the tabloids. I mean, if you are going to make someone popular, make someone popular with yummy hair.

The Great Bra Chase
Every time I find a new, wonderful bra, the company who manufactures the bra changes the design. I believe that this is some sort of male bra manufacturer conspiracy. My latest find is the Wacoal iBra. Expensive but nice. I bet by this time next year, Apple Computer will have filed an injunction against Wacoal and the iBra will be no more. Then off to hunt a new favorite bra. I don't want to be a hunter; I want to be a gatherer with support.

Double Standards

I don't normally watch the news.

I learned about the wildfires in California two days after they started. This morning I heard about some upticks in the economy, and George W. Bush was reelected president. Okay, I am not that bad (with regard to the president).

But over the last few days, I have heard two stories that are sort of connected, by theme at least.

In one story, some 13-year-old boy¹, an illegal alien, ran off with his 25-year-old teacher to Mexico. Well, turns out they found her and are bringing her back on statutory rape charges. She met him in sixth grade, and they ran off together while he was in eighth grade. Sad thing is that she has another child, currently staying with her parents.

There was another piece of news where a Wisconsin mother who told her children a little too much about sex. Apparently she was charged with exposing children to improper instruction – I forget the proper legal terms. She told her two boys, 11 and 15, about oral sex and showed them a sex toy. The older boy was troubled with this and told a school counselor. Me, I don't want people to imply that my parents ever had sex. I just don't want to be scarred by the image.

In the first story, there is a bit of snickering. Actually, some say that not only is the boy lucky, but that he may be able to come back to the US legally, with a 4-year-VISA. No public outcry, really.

The second story was a bit more tragic. Maybe the mother was a little misguided, but it did not seem criminal. It was criminal, since she pled guilty, there was a court date, judge and all. But you know what I mean.

There is a double-standard regarding exposing children to sex. And these are children.

A boy has sex with an older woman, and there are grins all around. A girl has sex with an older man and people are calling for the removal of his testicles. And I am as guilty as the next person. I have suggested gardening shears be used.

And I may have figured it out after all this time. When I was sixteen years old, if you took a naked picture of me and compared me to 18 or 21, my appearance – sans hairstyle – would have been nearly identical. Physically, I was an adult at sixteen.

Emotionally, however, I was still a child – an adolescent, but still not really a grown-up. I may have thought I was a young woman, but after becoming one, I realized that I was an adolescent when in high school. I almost typed "just an adolescent", but you know adolescence can be quite wonderful.

I think statutory rape laws protect children against themselves. I still don't know why we snicker when talking about boys in that way. I guess I don't have all of the answers today.

---

¹Some reports say he is a bit older.

Veteran's Day

Yesterday, I hit the stores because, after all, it was Veterans Day.

I believe it is a sad state of affairs that Veterans Day's most visible signs happen to be "20% Off Sales" signs. I watched the morning news, and their comment was about Veterans Day is that "traffic would be light in the morning."

I heard a quote by George Washington that said something about caring for the veterans. That a nation needs to care for their veterans in order to be secure. I have looked and looked for the quote, but can't find it at this time.

One would think that there would be more associated with Veterans Day. More since we have more than 100,000 soldiers, sailors and airmen in harm's way. More since we have a president who puts them in harm's way.

I am not one for big public celebrations. I mean, for me, a drive to St. John the Baptist Cathedral to light candles for the veterans I knew is the way I prefer to mark the day. I mean, in a couple of weeks, who is going to remember that new sweater? But the veterans' sacrifices should be remembered for all times.

You Said "What?"

The other day, someone at work said, "I don't mean to be an ass, but . . . " and before thinking, I said, "yeah, you did."

When people say, "I don't want to butt in, but . . . " or "I am not racist, but . . .", I figure they are signaling me that they are what they say they aren't.

I am typing up a storm for that freakin' NaNo-crap thing, so I am all spent for the week, but this just occurred to me.

I also wonder why the price of gas goes up right after crude oil prices go up, but it takes so much time to transport, refine, etc. But when crude oil goes down, the price of oil doesn't go down the same week. Weird, huh?

Of Nickels and Dimes

When I was a little girl, I was quiet during family gatherings. I don't know if all Georgian families are this way, but my family tells stories. And growing up, I chose to listen rather than try to tell stories.

Stories can be passed from generation to generation. We tell stories to entertain, to teach, to connect. One of my favorite storytellers was my grandfather. His stories normally did all three. Every time I find a dime, I think of one of his stories.

He tells a story of growing up, and every town seemed to have "their bum." You know, someone who drinks Night Train, Thunderbird, or MD 20/20; the fortified wine of your choice. Anyway, my grandfather would say that people would play a game with the man.

Then my grandfather would extract a nickel and dime from his pocket. He would place them side-by-side, and ask, "Which coin, given the choice, would you take?"

And of course, I would choose the dime. My grandfather would laugh, and say, "Yeah, little girl, the dime is worth more than the nickel."

And he would say that the bum always chose the nickel.

Almost rehearsed, I would then say something like, "That's why he is a bum, right? He does not know the value of a dime."

My grandfather would give me the dime, then explain to me that if he chose the dime, no one would want to play the game with him. So he would have earned ten cents. But because the town bum chose the nickel, he had others offer to play the game.

Sometimes, he would sum up, it pays to make a decision that would strengthen the relationship, and in this case, the bums relationship to the town. From that story, I learned that sometimes, you don't necessarily try to obtain the best deal each and every time. Sometimes it pays to form a relationship.

Thanks, Granddad, you wise man, you. I miss you more than you would have guessed.

What's in a Name

I once met a man named Mathew¹. That was his name. His parents wanted to call him Matthew, but they misspelled his name on the birth certificate. Well, they tried to spell it correctly, I am sure, but they missed the mark.

Now I did not know Mathew as a child, but these are the memories I would expect, had he been in my class.

Teacher Interactions
Can you imagine Mat's (well, isn't this the shortened version of Mathew?) teacher correcting him time and time again.

"No, dear, you need to place two 't's after the 'a'."

For me, I would need years of counseling to undo that Kindergarten memory.

Playground Interactions
"Let's play a game. Let's step on Mat."

"M-a-t, M-a-t, what kind of name is that?"

You know, kids can be kinda cruel.

Awards
Yes, Mathew received 17 certificates in elementary school and all of them, save two, will be spelled Matthew. Not much of a reward, you know, to misspell a certificate.

I did know a guy in school who was called Michel. I thought his name was pronounced Michelle, but apparently it is a French spelling.

--> Insert comment about feminine nature of the French here. <--

Not that I would make fun of a name.

---

¹Okay, some of you will say there are two spellings of Matthew. You will point to Mathew Rosenblum, the composer from Pittsburgh. Or Mathew Zucker, the photographer from New York. Or even earlier, Mathew B. Brady, the Civil War photographer – taking pictures of corpses, not high-heeled shoes. But if you point all of this out, my blog entry is a little pointless today.

Just Words, Lots of Words

Well, I have finished the first weekend of the National Novel Writing Month experiment. And here is what I have learned.

Writing a novel is a lot harder than writing a page. Yeah, it took me an entire weekend to figure that out. Yeah, I am a little slow.

I have learned some things.

For instance, my main character, Praga – who does not intentionally bear any resemblance to any real person – is an extremely intelligent gear head. He however, has his own language, made out entirely of vowels. Not only that, but it takes several words to say one thing. For instance, "Hello" is "aeaaoo aeooy aiiooeeuu aeaaoo aeooy aiiooeeuu aeaaoo aeooy aiiooeeuu aeaaoo aeooy aiiooeeuu aeaaoo aeooy aiiooeeuu." Okay, you may see this as an inefficient way of saying hello, and I see it as 15 words.

Praga has a monolog about "ghosting" that lasts for five pages.

Similarly, I have intervening chapters with a couple of lesbian lovers who enjoy parroting each other's statements.

~Leesa: Oh, Deb, you have the softest lips.

Deb: Oh, Leesa, you have the softest lips.

Well, the dialog is lame, but I have mastered the "cut-paste" functions in my word processor. Again, I am racking up the words with this crap dialog. I tried parroting actions, but once ~Leesa bit Deb's bottom lip and Deb reciprocated, I thought perhaps the girls would not really want to kiss too much more, as their lips certainly would have started bleeding.

Seriously, writing 1,667 words per day is already starting to be a chore, and I am joking about the ways of adding data. I did not really do much on November 1, which really put me behind schedule.

Maybe I will have something to say tomorrow. Have a great Monday.

Hypocrites

"Hypocrite" comes from a Hebrew word, and means the "godless" or "profane." As most of us know, a hypocrite is "a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess." I got that from the Princeton dictionary.

Well, I was in the car yesterday, and there was a show on that I had not heard in years, "Dr. Laura." I actually enjoyed listening to her a long time ago.

Anyway, I started Googling to find a good Dr. Laura story, and I found this one.

SHOCK JOCK VOTED BEST BABYSITTER
Strip jock Dr. Laura and liar Prez considered untrustworthy in Internet poll

NEW YORK, New York — In an online poll in the Velocity NYC e-zine, 1,375 respondents were asked “Who would you trust as a babysitter?” The choices were President Clinton, Dr. Laura and Howard Stern.

The majority of Americans polled chose Stern as the person they’d trust most with their children, as he captured the popular vote with 54%. Scandal plagued Dr. Laura followed close behind with 42% of the vote, and President Clinton tallied an appalling 4%.

“I voted for Howard Stern because, while his show is raunchy, he’s a good dad and devoted husband,” said Anthoula Vokolos of Astoria, Queens. “And above all, (he) is always honest to his listeners, his critics, and his supporters.”

While Dr. Laura has been embroiled in her nude photo scandal and the President has taken hits for his lack of character and integrity, the resounding choice for America was Howard Stern. Some people still care about family values and morality.

Well, I was going to look up the particulars, but frankly, I don't want to get too frustrated. This happened a long time ago. From what I remembered, someone was interviewed concerning Dr. Laura, said that he had an affair with her (he was married, or she was, or both were, again, not sure of the particulars). His statement was in some magazine, and Dr. Laura called him a liar. The only problem for Dr. Laura is that she let him take pictures of her naked. And, I guess she might have thought he lost the photos. Not only did he not lose the pictures, but he actually sold them to a magazine, which published them.

I remember listening to her after the pics came out, and you know, she sort of backpedaled. At that point, I stopped listening to her. She could have come clean originally, but instead, she called someone who told the truth a liar.

I remember listening to her and her advice sometimes did not fix things. She told people not to admit to their infidelity because most people only did so to ease their own pain. Now I am not saying to anyone to come clean, but if there is something that is wrong with the marriage, perhaps the infidelity is not the real issue. It is a mere symptom.

I know. I know. All she really is doing is selling books and promoting her radio program. And the difference between her and Howard Stern, it would seem, is that more people would trust their children with Mr. Stern than with Dr. Laura. Oh, and Dr. Laura is not a medical doctor. Most PhDs that I know don't call themselves doctor. Sort of weak.

Cemeteries

Savannah has some of the prettiest cemeteries. Not sure of you are an aficionado of cemeteries, but I am.

I have walked through cemeteries my whole life.

I see cemeteries as parks on top of the deceased. Walking in graveyards does not bother me, and I am normally drawn to some of the simple beauty of tombstones, trees allowed to grow at their own pace, and an assortment of flowers, usually in varying states of decay.

I really wanted to prance through a graveyard last night, but it being Halloween, I opted out. Perhaps tonight. Perhaps I will visit a cemetery tomorrow night, on All Souls.

Have a happy All Saint's Day.