Monday, July 25, 2011

Ode to a Vibrator

Deb wrote something on Friday about stifling. And, well, it inspired me to write a few verses of poetry. When I was in high school, we had to write a lot of poetry – and since I hated it, I rebelled by making fun of many of the teachers in the school. You see, my English teacher was the advisor for the school’s literary magazine, and I did not want any of my words going in that thing. So without any fanfare, here is an original poem by Leesa.

Ode to a Vibrator

Oh, my three plastic egg,
So discrete and cute,
With a remote control that’s easy to use,
This “friend” of mine is a bute.’

I got you as a gag gift,
Accepting it made me blush,
Who knew you would become a welcome friend,
This fact you have to hush.

I don’t need to shave my legs,
I don’t need to brush my hair,
I just need to ensure the batteries are fresh,
Before I place you . . . there.

You’re always at my bedside table,
I am never ever in need,
You never say things to pressure me,
Into doing the deed.

I don’t have to be polite,
I don’t have to laugh at your jokes,
I don’t have to make coy suggestions,
Before you pleasure me with your electronic strokes.

You are designed for going out,
You are designed for playing an erotic game.
I can’t imagine bringing you to a bar inside of me,
For I am much too tame.

Oh, my AA-powered friend,
I don’t have to lie,
If I want you three times per day,
My actions don’t have to be sly.

You expect nothing from me,
You silently sputter and hum along,
I don’t have to wear a push-up bra,
With a matching, uncomfortable thong.

So while you don’t take me to dinner,
Buy me roses or other mushy stuff
You bring me something (cough) few men have,
And trust me, that’s more than enough.

8 comments:

Xmichra said...

lol... I am a little surprised you didn't end up in the magazine actually ;)

mrwriteon said...

I knew there was good reason why I missed you when you were away for a while. And now you just proved it. Delightful.

Knot said...

But can it pee on a wall?

Knot said...

And I miss 3 times a day.

Leesa said...

xmichra: actually, I was in the magazine. I wrote a few poems and a short story.

ian: thanks, sweetie.

knot: wall-peeing is not a very valuable skill to have.

Knot said...

It is if you can't do it and you have to.

Anonymous said...

This poem is very honest and true I like it

Ann said...

This one is really good.. Enjoyed reading it.. Will visit soon.