Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dating Exhaustion

I try to write on this blog on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and as you may have noticed, I did not write Wednesday. And part of this is because I have been dating so much.

I went out Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday - three different guys, and two of the guys were first dates. I won't mention the first dates right now - both were dinner dates, and both were "okay." The men were nice, they did not do anything to embarrass me or themselves, and they were perfect gentlemen. Perfect gentlemen are not normally interesting to write or read about.

Anyway, on Date #3 with one guy, we had a long talk at the end of the night. It must have been about 1AM when we started talking - we had been kissing before. I let him know I was new to dating, and I was not interested in anything too heavy. I also said that sex was off the table because I have not officially divorced. He texted me the following day, so I figure the talk did not scare him off.

We had un-official Date #4 on Tuesday night. Well, probably unofficial to him, but when I shave my legs to meet someone, the time goes in the date column. He brought chinese food for dinner and we watched a foreign film (containing subtitles). Well, there is some backstory. I had to drop off my car at the shop, and I sort of wanted my date to go with me because he is a guy. Anyway, after chatting with the mechanic, the mechanic asked if we were together. He looked a little shocked, but he said, "Yes" with no further explanation. That seemed a bit forward, but comforting at the same time.

Anyway, we had dinner and the movie on the couch. A little hand-holding because well, just because. He had his warm hand on my knee, and I thought he was wondering how far up my thigh I would allow his digits to travel. The movie was confusing, and we started necking on the couch. He had actually, before that night, said that he wanted to watch a movie in, without making out. I think he wanted to let me know he heard 'sex was off the table.'

After the movie, we were making out anyways. And about an hour later, he was talking off my panties, leaving my dress on but pleasing me, oh, so pleasing me, downstairs. I let him please me for longer than I want to care to admit, and afterwards, he shyly asked "if I came." Not sure why guys ask that, but I wanted to say, "Fuck, yes, I had multiple multiple orgasms. Strong orgasms. Surprising orgasms. Fucking awesome orgasms."

I think he wanted a number, but I just smiled and shook my head in affirmation. I was blissful, and that's what mattered most at the time, and that's all he needed to know. He looked like he needed more, and I vocalized, "Uh huh." It was almost a whisper, and here I was, want-to-be writer, and this is how I answer.

I did not plan for this to happen, but now, this serial dater, this guy I know who likes to keep things light. He texted me later that evening, then a couple of more times the following day.

So far with these dating experiments, all I have done is say, "yes" to dates and say 'no' to sex or even grabbing my ass on the first date. Guys, I think, like for their women to say 'no' sometimes. At least, they stick around until they here a 'yes.' I think that is strange, but I think that's the way it is.


Zephyr said...

Maybe it's just my opinion, but I think one of the greatest parts of this post is the labels you assigned to it. Really... who could NOT like a post labeled "dating" and "panties"?

But what is it with guys asking if you came? I've had that too (not recently of course... sigh) and I've always wondered how it could be any more obvious. y body does not go into spasms and shakes randomly. Do they really think you can FAKE something that intense? Have they never been with someone who HAD a hard orgasm? WTF?

LarryLilly said...

Men like reaffirmation just like women, just in different ways. Even if the woman is screaming Hallelujah from the rafters, he will want to hear it. And yes, from your less than wordy response, it seems you were in the moiment and not in a mood to say something full of prose.

Anonymous said...

What Larry said. But we ask if you did because for years women have faked it and told men they didn't. We have no idea, now, if you are faking or real.

Anonymous said...

Tell him 37 times. Give him somethig to aim for.

Anyway, dear Leesa, your tale enchanted me at oh so many levels and I love it when women say (well, actually you wrote it) panties. Gives me the vapors.

But seriously, I'm certain you have many dates, a lady as striking as you.

Leesa said...

zephyr: perhaps he thought I was having a seisure? Or I should say (grins) multiple seisures.

larry: I can fake screaming during sex. I can't fake the spasms.

knot: I fake it when I want the guy to stop. And I can fake the shakes, but the spasms, that I can't fake.

ian: women either have lots of dates or no dates; I really think men want to date women that are dating a lot.

Karen said...

Sounds like you are having fun. I always hated the first dates and getting to know each other part of dating. I hate being uncomfortable. But I am proud that you are taking the bull by the horns.

Xmichra said...

ughs. I would die in the dating world. lol... I really do wish you the best of luck, and no asshats. :D sounds like serial dater was a good experience though!

Deb said...

When I was in the dating arena, I remember the first dates were always so .......unpredictable, because you never know truly how much chemistry is there once things feel comfortable. I never gave myself "rules", but I did TRY to at least give myself limits. As far as him asking you if he made your eyes roll in the back of your head, I think communication is 'great', but sometimes, just 'knowing' you did, is enough. It depends...

I love reading about your stories! :)

And mrwriteon, 37 times?????? I'll turn my lesbian ass straight for that. O.o

Zephyr said...

Ha Leesa... I have faked it when I want the guy to stop too!

But yeah, when the shakes start and just keep going, they shouldn't even have to ask (unless you are epileptic). *grin*

Leesa said...

karen: I have yet to "take the bull by the horns." Maybe Date #6.

xmichra: serial dater is fun right now.

deb: not 37 times (why would I count, Ian?), but it had to be more than I have had in a very long time. A very long time.

zephyr: funny how similar closed door experiences can be.

Epoxy Floor | Polished Concrete said...

haha .. very nice story anyway dating some other guy is not easy .. some guy was like a "SEX" not a "DATE" .

african girl said...

Hi Leesa!Your post is really interesting.

All I can say is that you are very blessed because you have lots of men to date on. No wonder why you entitled your blog "dating exhaustion" because you're too busy dating with different men. I'm looking forward for your upcoming dating experiences!

Anonymous said...

did you at least jerk him off

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