On the radio, I heard about a new website: Big Hollywood. Andrew Breitbart is the man behind the site, who helped establish the Drudge Report and the Huffington Post. In other words, this is a conservative man's man crush. Breitbart wrote about it here.
I have not read about it, I have no knowledge about the website or the background, and I should not write about it. But I am going to anyway.
I have pictured an interview with Breitbart and a reporter; let's call this reporter Leesa (I am a narcissist at heart).
Leesa: Thank you for agreeing to talk with me. I am doing a short story for my blog.
Breitbart: I hope it is a conservative blog.
Leesa: Very conservative. I read from the press release that you are starting a website that talks about the film industry. So, how many upskirts of Britney Spears do you have so far?
Breitbart: Er, we don't do that. We are not some porn site.
Leesa: You can see those shots on Perez Hilton, Access Hollywood. Heck, even on the three networks, if it is a news event.
Breitbart: Did you actually read my recent article. This is a conservative take on Hollywood.
Leesa: So no gossip? No pics of actresses in hideous runway garments? No police blotters.
Breitbart: That is correct. I am going to target the conservatives who want Hollywood news.
Leesa: And you don't think they want to know who impregnated the Spears sister?
Breitbart: Of course not. Conservatives want good, wholesome movies.
Leesa: Like Momma Mia?
Breitbart: Momma Mia shows how a promiscuous woman fathers a child without a father. She is rewarded and ends happily ever after. Certainly if it was a conservative-minded movie, she would be held accountable for her actions. Perhaps her mother would fall off the island and get eaten by sharks.
Leesa: Which Abba song should they use when Meryl Streep gets horribly eaten?
Breitbart: That's not the point of my website. We want to appeal to conservatives, not re-write poorly written musicals.
Leesa: And you expect people to read what you are writing?
Breitbart: Certainly. Conservatives are picky about what they view for entertainment purposes.
Leesa: And this type of insight will be seen on your site? Er. I think I have a dental appointment.
Breitbart: Good oral hygiene is also consistent with the conservative viewpoint. Perhaps we can partner on a story on flossing in Hollywood. Have a compilation of flossing scenes that hit the big screen.
Leesa: I give your website three months. Good luck.
9 hours ago