Tuesday, October 21, 2008

On Writing

It's almost here: National Novel Writing Month. I have thought about doing this year after year. Last year, I started it – but I fizzled out fast. I did about 6,000 words over four days. And I did not do a darn thing for the rest of the month. I trashed the words – I did not like where the plot was going, and I was sort of frustrated as well. So I trashed it. It felt good, actually.

Kerry McFee, NaNo-Overachiever, wrote a piece about how she wrote so many words last year. Sort of funny, but not sure I just want to write words. Still, she wrote a whole lot last year. Pretty impressive.

I have read that writers write because a bunch of woman will sleep with you if you publish a book. When I was younger, I may have been in that screaming throng, eager to shed my panties for a playwright or a poet. I don't know what it is about men who can write. But that's not what I am writing about today.

I find myself on the edge of November once again, and I desperately want to write, but I am not sure how to begin. I know, I know. You begin by diving in, writing word after delectable word. But I don't even know what genre I want to write in. I mean, because it is a novel, that would eliminate all the books on buckeyballs and nanotechnology. Okay, I will admit it, I know nothing about them, but they sound darned impressive. Nearly damned impressive. And I will not write a cookbook. Or a travel book.

Everyone's mind leaps to erotica. And you know, I have the stored knowledge and experience to write a nice tale. But when I write about erotica, I tend to want to masturbate A LOT, and I am not sure I would have the energy to write 50,000 words about erotica and masturbate nearly continuously in order to find my muse.

Doctor: "This is a highly unusual case. Notice the vaginal tearings, the engorged clitoris, and the carpel tunnel syndrome from typing. Frankly, I have no idea how she got into this condition. Very strange."

Nurse: "You can stop examining her, doctor."

I just don't want to visit the ER for such a reason. Yikes.

And I am not thrilled about writing a children's book. I know, I know, JK Rawlins may be the highest paid author ever – going from living in her car with her kids to a nest egg that is over one billion dollars – but that only happens to one author (and it already happened to her).

I don't want to write about vampires – I find them too creepy – or romance novels – too trite. And the more I write here, the more I have a "don't list" instead of a "do" list. Perhaps writing turns me into a negative person. I write about what not to say to someone who has lost of loved one instead of what to say. How not to fuck 40 of your co-workers instead of how to fuck 40 of your co-workers. How not to contract an STD in a public restroom instead . . . you get the idea.

This year I am going to write about how to ring 50,000 words from my brain in the month of November instead of worrying about not being able to do it. One word at a time.

11 comments:

QUASAR9 said...

We really should have met when you were younger screaming in that throng or is it thong... shedding your panties for a playright or poet.

Oh I do like the way you wriggle your pretty butt when u walk
Leesa I simply love to listen to your soft talk, pillow talk
but most of all what I like best is the way you f--- & f---

QUASAR9 said...

I'd love to be there and help you ring those 50,000 words - One at a time.

Anonymous said...

I think that your writing tends to gravitate toward slutty filth is because you arent a very talented writer.

You are a slut that wants to be seen as a writer but it just isnt working for you.

Save yourself the embarrassment and just be a wordless slut.

Joe said...

I have no doubt that you'll be able to wring out 50,000 words and that it'll all come together beautifully as your stories always do.

And I see you already have a theme. Just call it "The Book of Nots" and it'll be a bestseller.

Meanwhile, I believe I'll be skipping this event again this year as I don't think I could write that amount in a year, let alone a month.

Anonymous said...

I would think it a wonderful opportunity. If you have the idea for a "tale"....erotic or not, go for it. Especially if it's good enough you need to keep playing. That Doctors visit would be odd....Like the time I had to do the Manly "turn your head and cough" thing....and then he asked what that spot was. Rather embarrassed to tell him it was from masturbating.....Shit happens and it was a great several plays too soon together, so I can understand your dilemma....Good Luck Leesa!!!!

Ian Lidster said...

You go, girl -- with the novel writing that is.

As for the aphrodesiac effect writers can have. Yes, to a degree it's true, even with journalists, sometimes to my surprise back when I was a regular columnist. Surprise and delight.

As for writing erotica, yes, it tends to have that effect on the writer, doesn't it? Of course, that's a sign that it may be good stuff. But, it is difficult to type with one hand.

Anonymous said...

Decide if you like the process of writing and how much you enjoy it, or not. The results will be what they are. If you or others derived something from your writing, it has been worth it. I say you enjoy it enough to keep this blog up. It is good practice and we, your audience mirror your talents back to you. I think you rock Leesa, and can write. My guess is you could use some guidance in formulating plots. I don't know where to get that. perhaps Google. This "anonymous" will continue to always encourage you.

Leesa said...

QUASAR9: Thanks, sweetie. I am sure I would have been attracted to your words had we known each other then.

anon: if you had a link to some of your writing and it was good, then I probably would care what you think. If you are Grant or Ian, for instance, I would have been deeply hurt by your comment.

joe: you write more than 50K words a year, I know you do.

anon: you get spots from masturbating? What color are they? Fairly bizarre.

ian: I hope that the weather will be nice and overcast for the entire month.

anon: I think you are right about guidance about being on task, especially writing anything of length. We will see.

Rob said...

Leesa if you like writing I belong to a community that is all about writing. Come over and check us out.
www.notebored.com

terri said...

You're doing it! Good for you! You have more guts than I do. I seriously considered it after you encouraged me to do so... but I chickened out. I thought about it for days but I didn't know how to start and now too many days have gone by. Maybe next year! Or maybe sooner, but just not for NaNoWriMo. Thanks for getting me thinking about it anyway.

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