Monday, June 16, 2008

Rent vs Buy

For a number of years after we were married, my husband and I rented. We did not have the cash for the down payment of a house, and even if we did, we were not really to make such a financial commitment. So we rented.

I did not mind renting. I did not think that our rent checks were being wasted. I know others did (real estate agents, for instance), but we got a place to stay, and that seemed adequate trade for the rent money. I mean, if something happened to the house – if the house needed a new air conditioner, for instance, it really did not affect us financially.

The only thing I did not like was, sometimes, they way I was treated because I was a renter. People expect, when you are renting, that you are not as good as homeowners. Yeah, you can say I am full of it, but I have heard someone's voice change after learning that I was a renter. Well, it was great when the gutter salespeople came by: "I'm sorry, but I am a renter."

Renters get a bad rap, I suppose, because some renters don't take good care of the property they inhabit. You know, there is not much of a financial incentive to do so – a number of rentals I have had seem to do everything they can to retain your deposit even if there is nothing wrong with the apartment or house at the end of the rental agreement. The property is not yours – and some treat is less preciously because of that. That's what some think renters do – they don't take care of the property as well because they don't have a financial reason to do so. Oh, and perhaps as a rule, this happens more often than naught.

I have been thinking about the direction of my life lately, and I have been treating my life as a renter. I have not been owning my life, just renting it. There are things I want to do, things I want to write.

In my blog, I used the following phrase to introduce my blog: "I started blogging to improve my writing; I really did. Painters don't start with masterpieces – they start on scraps of paper, and even when planning a great work, they do many other drawings in preparation. I think writing is the same. You just don't start and finish a novel by merrily typing into the computer; you experiment. Blogging is sort of like a writer's doodling. So this is my scratch pad of sorts. This is less than scraps of paper actually, just 1s and 0s on your computer screen."

Well, after a few years of writing this blog, I have not really done what I set out to do. Yeah, my writing may have gotten marginally better, but I have not started any serious writing.

Last month ~Deb gave up her blog, and I have been thinking about doing the same. Temporarily or permanently, I don't know.

I am not stopping this blog because I have run out of ideas or because I have gotten any stalkers. I just want to spend my time doing other things. I have enjoyed this blog, I have enjoyed the people I have met, and I have enjoyed the whole blogging experience.

I guess I want to start owning my life. We have very little time on this earth, and I need to spend it doing what I want to do, what I feel called to do. Now I don't know if I will be back next week, next month or never again, I could not tell you. Personally, I hope I will be able to write, really write, and not come back to this blog. It's not that it is unimportant. It is that I feel called to write a novel. I am a bit scared, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.

I will miss writing every day or several times per week. But it is time for me to move on.

Note: I have one post scheduled to get published some time in August. But it is already in the queue. Other than that, I may or may not be back. We will just have to see.

26 comments:

Advizor said...

I know that my boss will be happy if you stop blogging, because then I would get a lot more work done. You are, quite literally, the first web-site I go to when I log in each day. I check your thoughts before I go anywhere else, and several of my better posts are based on ideas that you have explored in your writings.

I understand how keeping a blog doesn't really make any of us better writers. I know that no one reads my blog on a regular basis, so most of my writing is undisciplined drivel, a combination of bad erotica, self-serving complaints, and over-amped self pity.

My Christmas story remains unfinished and, therefore, undelivered to the illustrator. My children's books are in draft, but no more, my novel is a mess, a dozen different unrelated chapters that go no where as a collective.

My blog is an outlet for a polluted river, a mind dump for an empty brain, and while I serves no purpose for others, it gives me a little bit of pleasure to write it.

If you go, you will be missed. I enjoy your stories, your observations, your humor. I enjoy your erotica, your picture, and my Internet day will be sadder without you.

I hope that you will find time for real writing, that you and your hubby will find more time for love, for holding hands, and for terrific sex. I ope to see your novel on the best-seller list, your play on Broadway, or you column in the NY TIMES. What ever you do, you will do well.

Good luck

Ian Lidster said...

I truly will sincerely miss you and your thoughts, your wit, your lil naughty twists and all the other fine things about you Leesa that have made you one of my favorite blog pals.
On the other hand, I thorougly understand your moltivation and I do think you have a book (or many) in you and believe you should follow your dream.
But, please at least drop by once in a while if you get the chance. You are always welcome in my blog home.
Go with God and seize your days.

Anonymous said...

This may just be your novel. It is good and has hooked me in regularly. It has the endurance of a comic strip. Documenting your life through your eyes is so personal. For that reason, better than fiction. Don't go.

GW Mush said...

Hi Leesa,

I understand but it is hard seeing you walk out of my life after all we have been through together.
I will let you go cuz if it is real love, you will come back to me.

richmanwisco said...

it was a nice ride leesa, thanks for having us along. i look forward to seeing you again somewhere down the road. be good.

LarryLilly said...

When i read the post, this is the first thing that popped in my head LOL.
(from alanis morissette...)

I want you to know I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both ...

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Have a short rest, but if its terminal, you will be remembered.

(Dam, that means that the lush in Chitown will move to the top of the blog list LOL)

~Deb said...

Leesa,

I’m a renter and I’ve rented another apartment here in NY before. My first landlord was less than desirable, which would explain the ‘less than desirable tenants’ out there. I’ve always kept my apartment really nicely though. My landlord now is a PLEASURE! He is just the best landlord to have---ever. I’ve even done some upgrades to his place – not even asking him to take off from the rent. I’ve done more improvements as though it were my home. It’ll only up the value of the place, make my home look nicer and help out my sweet little landlord. (Just love him- can ya tell?)

Re: writing… When I “quit” blogging last April, I was going through emotional turmoil (which included some drama with another person who kept an eye on my words), and I was literally (ha ‘literally’) tapped out. I had nothing inside me but sadness and negative feelings which would reflect in my blog. Now that I’m somewhat feeling better, I can express them in a more constructive way, instead of ranting angrily about this and that. The last days of my blogging included a lot of crap that dealt with what I went through, and it came off in a very immature and destructive manner. Luckily I caught myself and just quit blogging due to the lack of respect and maturity I had at the time. It wasn’t healthy for me or the poor readers who logged on.

In short, (or long), I didn’t feel as though my life was on hold because I wrote in a blog everyday – it was actually therapeutic and still is. There are a lot of people who feel that if they blog on a consistent basis, that their life is being wasted on a blog, instead of “shared”. So, I thank you for sharing all that you have on this blog with us. You’re a great writer and I will always check back to see if you’re doodling again!

Love to you!
Deb

mal said...

nicely written. Whether you realize it or not, your writing is much improved and you are one of the most readable blogs I have followed over time.

I do understand about needing a hiatus. Especially when our muse fails us or the needs of our life shift the levels of our priorities.

What ever the reason, there are many of us who have enriched with your writing

Go in Grace

mallory

kathi said...

Dang that ~deb!! Putting all these ideas in your head...geeze, deb!

Seriously, you've got to do what you love. If blogging takes time away from doing other things that you enjoy more...do those things. If you miss blogging, come back and we'll be the better for it.

Whatever, blessings to you. Enjoy every single day.

Joe said...

Well, I tried my best to stalk you here but apparently I failed...

I know the feeling about quitting the blog. I've been there a number of times myself and I appear to be there again. I've already blogged far less this year than last and I don't feel as committed to the whole thing largely because I seem to actually have a life these days.

That said, I'll miss reading your always amusing and insightful posts every day and I'll secretly hope that you don't quit, but I'll understand if you do and wish you nothing but the best.

Leesa said...

All,

Thanks for the sweet comments. I have already started missing my blog posts. Which I not what I expected. Not sure if I will be back, but I definitely need a break . . . .

~Deb said...

Well I certainly hope that you keep your archives, because I do venture off into the other files to read other stuff from you.

Look at Kathi blaming me for putting the seed into your head! *grr*

We'll be here. I'll still be trekking through your archives of course.

:)

Anonymous Boxer said...

Your blog was one of the first I read last Spring when I started mine.

I've changed my "format" many times to reflect growth/etc.... maybe you can do the same too.

Either way, you are a good writer and I've always enjoyed my visits.

Deb said...

I hope you don't close down your blog.

GW Mush said...

Baby come back to me
the future is ours to see

Anonymous said...

My guess is that you no longer monitor your messages.

So . . .

If that is the case, I wanted to tell you a fantasy about having you, Leesa. I would love to tie you to your own bed, completely nude, making sure you could not squirm out of the ropes. Then I would place a digital video camera to catch the action. Before turning it on, I would say that if it looked like you knew about the camera or it looked like you were not having fun, I would make a copy for your husband.

Yeah, I am sure you would take me anyway I wanted. And of course, I would play the tape over and over at home afterwards. I would make several DVDs of the tape, placing copies of them in bus terminals. Just to let others know what kind of scank you really are.

Anonymous said...

Hey Anonymous,

You have the rest of your life to be an ignorant moron.

Take a day off and stop visiting this blog site.

Did you seriously keep checking this site till you found out that Leesa has taken a break to come and place that moronic post for you are too weak as a human being to post it while others could easily respond?

I mean seriously, who's the whack job? A man with nothing better to do than visit a "Blog Site" that he apparently doesn't like and waits till the last day to express his most uselessness thoughts (Even that must have taken you time to think huh?).

And pardon me, but between you and the rest of the world? I honestly think the only way you could ever get some IS by tying someone up... You freak...

My father (Who you would not understand as his IQ is over 150) once told me. If you have nothing intelligent or useful to say, then STFU and go read a book and become useful to society. And he was right. You are the epidimy of what he was basing this comment on.

Wow, you're brilliant, it's folks like you that make me weep for the future!

And yes, I post as anonymous as well, but at least I leave my Blog Name. Freak!

Cheers!

Pyth0s

Knot said...

I like your blog for many reasons. You are open, and you answer when we comment.

I would be sad if you stopped, but maybe we could continue to keep up with each other in other ways.

Knot

BBC said...

I've owned homes most of my adult life, bought my first one after getting married in my 20's, paying rent to someone is just buying a home for them. Or paying for their investment.

My place is free and clear, I like that, no payments is cool.

Deb said...

I hope you do come back. I will miss your wit and sass.

GW Mush said...

Leesa,

Do come back. I miss your tit and ass tooo... I mean wit and sass, lol

Sorry, that was too easy of a set up and I couldnt resist saying that, hehe

~Deb said...

Geez they're certainly coming out of the woodwork on this post!

Hrmm.

*Looks up at anonymous*

Interesting.

ThroughOurEyes said...

I love your writing style. You will be missed but...Go out and enjoy life!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!

While I completely understand where you're coming from...especially when you said:" I have not been owning my life, just renting it. There are things I want to do, things I want to write."

But still, dammit. It sucks you quit blogging. I'll keep checking back though...just to see!

Knot said...

I missed you!

Knot

Joe said...

Glad to see that (based on the post above) you're still around and haven't changed a bit.

The blog world isn't the same without you and I keep checking here from time to time in the hopes that you've posted again. Good to see that you have. It makes me feel (slightly) less stalker-ish.