Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Blah Meter

I have been feeling a bit blah lately. You have probably seen it in my "just hit the damned submit button" posts. Yeah, there have been a few of them. I have been feeling blah, but I really was not aware of it. I would say, "I am tired" or "I have too much to do." I am a fairly positive person, so it is hard for me to say, "I feel blah."

And then I thought to myself, I should find other measures, that are not directly related to my blah-ness, that would be an indicator for me. Sure, I might not describe myself as blah, but if I always do something when blah, I could just look for that something. So then I thought, let’s see if I can look at my personal life for signs of the blahs:

Loss of interest in normal daily activities. I am so spastic, that I sometimes looks interest in daily activities, but it does not mean I am blah.
Crying spells for no apparent reason. I always have a reason for crying. Others may not be aware of it, but there is always a reason.
Problems sleeping. I sometimes sleep a lot or a little for no apparent reason. Not a good indicator.
Trouble focusing or concentrating. All the time. I think that has something to do with my brain chemistry.
Difficulty making decisions. I would be a terrible CEO. I can make any sort of decision with little data or understanding of the problem. Sort of like a politician.
Unintentional weight gain or loss. If you intentionally eat a quart of ice cream but don't intend on gaining weight, does that count?
Irritability. Just a part of my personality when I deal with incompetent people.
Being easily annoyed. See above. These signs are starting to piss me off.
Loss of interest in sex. Pass.
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches. I am talking about the blahs. I am not crazy.

Well, you know, none of those signs can tip me off to the blahs. So I looked and looked and looked. And you know what is an indicator of the blahs for me, "number of items purchased from Ebay." That is it, plain and simple. It may have been shopping in general years ago, but it has changed.

You know, men are the big hunters, with their guns being some giant penis they point at what they want. Don't say this doesn't make sense. Women, those of us without a chronic penis envy fixation, don't see what is so special about hunting. We may say it is cruelty to animals, but deep down, we don't want to point artificial penises at animals. Just too close to bestiality for my taste.

And shopping in a mall for me is akin to deer hunting. High powered penis-gun just blowing away an unarmed large mammal. Ebay is more like hunting flying animals – squirrels, ducks, quail and the like. It takes either skill or dumb luck to bring those animals down. Same thing with Ebay purchases.

So the next time my Paypal account is overused because of Ebay, I have got me the blahs. I heard alcoholism cures the blahs, though. Or maybe I am confused. You see, I have trouble focusing.


And listen, I was kidding about bestiality and hunting. I am from Georgia, for gosh sake, where you will see deer fastened to the top of wood-paneled station wagons outside of Wal-Mart when they are in season.

12 comments:

LarryLilly said...

So you dont mount animals then, is that it?

My blah meter is when i can find no reason to do something else and instead watch "How Do I Look" with my wife.

Give me a brain transplant LOL

Under the Influence said...

I know I have the blahs when my house is a disaster and I just lay on the couch looking at it all and not caring.

I know the blahs are gone when I look around the disastrous house and think "I can't take it anymore" and I go on a cleaning frenzy.

mrwriteon said...

Must be going around. I have the same thing. Thanks for the categorizations. Oh, and alcoholism doesn't help the blahs, it just makes them worse.

Xmichra said...

I have the blahs as well, being sick for two fippin weeks is blah inducing.

Deb said...

Welcome to my world.

Malach the Merciless said...

Wow you got problems

btsea said...

Self diagnosis is always cheapest, and the money one saves self diagnosing can be spent on ebay! ;)

Leesa said...

Larry: not sure I know what "How Do I Look" is about.

Under: My house is a mess now too.

Ian: Yeah, alcoholism kinda sucks.

Xmichra: I read your blog today, and I thought "what do you mean, coming back from the north." You are in Canada. That is freakin' north. But I didn't say anything.

Deb: I know. I think OCD is partly to blame.

Malach: Thanks, sweetie!

btsea: and Ebay is cheaper than a shrink.

kathi said...

I wish on my best day it compared to your 'blah' day. You still draw me in and make me feel better for having visited you. :)

Xmichra said...

to me, where I live is south..lol! I lived in Yellowknife, which is way high up in the arctic. I live in southern alberta now... south :)

Grant said...

I found this site while doing my daily search for hunting and bestiality, but I'm sorely disappointed by the lack of pictures or embedded videos.

kathi said...

"pass"...funny girl.