How to Drive Blogging Traffic

I got a comment from Quasar9 on Friday. Here is the gist of the comment (I don't read other people's comments either):

Hi Leesa, interesting what people like to talk about, what people put out there.
There are general interest blogs: sitcoms, tv, stat trekkies, film buffs, mtv, latest music vids, ...
There are personal interest blogs: cats, dogs, horses, boats, cars, women, men, women, more women, ...
There are personal blogs: me and my baby, me and my pussy, me and my friend, boyfriend, you know ...
There are more educational and information exchange blogs: climate sciences, biology, astronomy, art, cosmology, physics, history, literature, national geographic,...
There are self-help and healing blogs: how I beat cancer, how I was abused, how I discovered anal interests, how I found myself, how I dealt with mother's passing, how I survived break up and divorce...
There are bloggers who wonder why no one visits them, uhh really? and there are bloggers in their own little niche wonder how people find them, hello! you are in the blogosphere, click next blog
But most of all there are blogs for all sorts of interests, like cliques in the street or pub, but with anonymity which allows you a candidness and/or falseness until some bloggers themselves forget where the line between what is true or false is, and some who will rant about whatever attracts an audience. Like experimental stand up comics.
Then there are other blogs which I find personally interesting either because the blogger is interesting or the posts are ...
So, you say Debs skinny dipping in moonlight can have an effect on peple maybe even 'raise' tides. lol!

Okay, when I read that, the first thing I thought was "this guy takes no breathes when he talks." Then I thought, I will include this comment in today's blog entry because it is easier than writing stuff myself. Just kidding.

I have wanted to do "How to Improve your Blogging" for some time. In the past, I have introduced some blogging rules. More accurately, I wrote a couple of Blogger Etiquette Posts (1) (2), and I occasionally write about rules in other posts. I am not saying that these were good rules or accurate rules, but after I wrote them down, I had people spouting these as actual rules. Sort of funny.

I actually don't know how to improve blogging; but I do like writing stuff and have people disagree with me. It is sort of fun.

I have said before that sometimes key phrases drive traffic, mostly because there are so many people surfing for porn. And some bloggers have gotten wind of this. When you hear someone relying a story of how her kitty cat is such a photogenic animal, you sort of wonder if she is wanting to draw traffic. She says things like, "I have the prettiest pussy. I love playing with my pussy. I would never do anything to harm my cat; I would never shave my pussy." If you run into a blog that does this, they are looking for traffic.

If you really want to drive traffic, don't have my sort of blog. I am not very focused. At all. I looked at Quasar9's blog on Friday, and his blog is very focused. He writes intellectually, and he writes about the same subject. He sort of makes me feel dumb, but he has some sort of elite following. Smart guys and girls who want to score with smart guys. Me, I like my hubbie dumb and at work. He makes money for us, and he is easy to train.

Focus. Focus. See, off the mark again. Where was I? Blogging and driving traffic.

If you want a cheap way to drive traffic, I have some suggestions:

1. Focus on writing about and evaluating strippers. Nothing attracts eyeballs like strippers.

2. Don't let your audience guess when you will blog. Blog on a schedule. I blog each day, and when I was really popular, I would have my blog available by 7:30 am. You don't have to blog every day, but if you are on a schedule, announce it somewhere prominent on your blog. Can you imagine a department store that had varying hours? It would frustrate you, right? Same thing with blogging.

3. Answer comments individually. When I get a comment, I answer it. Once I did not answer each comment, and Grant busted me. Don't misunderstand me. I am not saying that Grant is right about anything; I am saying that people who make comments like to be acknowledged. And they come back to make sure of this.

4. Visit other blogs. Not to steal their ideas, but to enjoy their work and leave comments. If you want others to view your tripe, you should view theirs. Personally, I don't look at people who I find boring – but just because I find something boring, does not make it so. And my tastes change, just like anyones. Hardly anyone wears mood rings and tank tops anymore, and there is a reason for it. Or are tanks popular again?

5. Be brief. Most people can't read more than one page on a computer – so don't write more than one page. Besides, the commenting folks are just looking for one thing to disagree with, and simes most of us are ignorant anyway, that is pretty easy to do. I am usually brief, aside from this post. And I am not brief with erotic posts. A shame this is not an erotic post, huh?

6. Post naked pictures of ~Deb. Self explanatory.

7. I can't believe I am up to #7. I need to come back and write something down here. Note to self: say something profound and quote Ghandi.

8. Have a plan and stick to it. Don't follow my example. I am completely off-base, wondering how I will wind this up and compare something to random cum stains, but I am not sure how I will do this.

9. Be professional. Again, don't look to me for this. Don't call your readers "dicks and whores". I don't have a problem with the name-calling, but I do have a problem with being professional. Misquote famous dead Greeks. They aren't alive to defend themselves.

10. Don't talk about trading links in the comments. If you are good enough to link to, people will link to you without asking. Or if they do link to you, and, well, how to delicately put this, your content sucks, then they will unlink from you the next time they update their templates. Just don't look lame that way.

11. Post naked pictures of ~Deb. Did I mention this already?

12. Link to some really cool bloggers. I do, and sometimes they even stop by to ask me to unlink from them. Damn them, the cool kids.

I could go on forever, but how many readers made it this far. Darned few. Most have already started writing their comments or have figured out that there are no pictures of my privates. Or ~Deb's privates.