Editing Letter

Lara Zielin, who is a young adult author (Make Things Happen: The Key to Networking for Teens, and Donut Days, first published novel) and YouTuber. Think John Green but not as popular. Since I am lazy today, I thought I would just throw up a video she made and uploaded to YouTube.

Dirty Shoes

This is a new performer on YouTube. Her lyrics are disturbing, original and interesting. Oh, and she has a nice voice. Just thought I would give her a plug.

All the News That's Fit . . .

I have decided that I will get my news from the Internet. And by news, I mean, I will be watching Gnooze. It is pronounced "news", the G being a silent G. Sort of like gnome. Gnooze is hosted by Marta Costello. Looks like she started in news, then did stand up comedy, and then she decided that streaming video seemed like an easy thing to do. Well, that is a bit of a simplification, but there you have it.

I have thought about the news a lot lately, and I am thinking of not paying attention to stuff. On purpose. And not just because it is "work" and I have to read and retain and make sense of all of the different media bias. It really does not have anything to do with that.

I don't think I want to monitor the news because it is counter-productive with being a happy, resourceful and contributing member of society.

When you read or watch local news, you take in the facts. Problem is that your brain treats these facts as representative of the world. We are wired that way. So when you read "child fell down a well and has been trapped there for days", your brain files away something that indicates that there are a bunch of wells around, potentially trapping lots of children. And we don't think, "Hmmmm, if it is in the local news, it must be extra-ordinary or out-of-the-ordinary. You know, newsworthy.

We have the same brains, more or less, that people did ten thousand years ago, when - between mounting the slow chicks - you would see who died when eating which berries. Green berries, bad. Small red berries, really bad. Large red berries, good. Special mushrooms, really good.

So we can't really get that what is on the news is not really what is happening all around us. Even the Amber alerts, they scare the pee out of us when we see one in the local area, but really, children are not getting snatched every day in your community. But if feels that way because our brains are meant to group events because we need to know what kinds of berries to eat.

Not only are we bad at interpreting the frequencies of local news events, but a lot of the time, we get news fragments and cannot put together the big picture of things. I have already heard a few people saying that history may treat George W Bush very well, after we have had time to think about all of his accomplishments. Okay, I nearly spit out a mouthful of Diet Dr. Pepper when I heard that on the news, driving into work.

George W is a boob with some sort of father complex. How can history treat him well. Well, I don't think it will, but the point is that we lack proper perspective as we are digesting these news sound bites.

So if news does not give us proper perspective, what good is it? I mean, let's say I was in tune to the business news for years. Would I be better prepared for what happened in the markets in 2008? No, not a bit. And after the economic decline, meltdown or whatever you want to call it, lots of people said, "Well, we should have known this was coming."

I remember listening to people proudly say that they did not listen to the news . . . when I was in college. I always thought, "What an ignorant, lazy Frat Boy person." Now I wonder if I am the one who has it all wrong.

Maybe it is better to get news from Gnooze, where they at least crack a joke. The one thing I don't want you doing is relying on Marta's blog. I mean, if you want to read a blog, you ought to read this one. Nary a newsworthy item, and occasionally a naughty picture. At least with my blog, you can count on a happy ending or two. Not so with traditional media.

Random Friday #27

Selective Technophile
The other day, I was looking at my blog (to answer comments), and blogger sort of hiccupped and gave me my blog feed instead. I have not ever seen the feed, and I was a bit surprised. I had heard about feeds for websites that have data that is updated frequently. I am a selective technophile; I understand some technology and don't know much about other things. I can blog and write a few things in HTLM. But I don't do the feed thing. Don't really know about it.

Videos
I have been entertained recently by ~Deb's videos. I mean, she videos Sunday fun, talking about a good porn plot, and my favorite, them just goofing around tp make a music video. Deb is incredibly gifted (has quite an expressive mind). But I sometimes wonder if video editing software is allowing people with smaller budgets and less technology to enter the fray. I would imagine this takes hours and hours to do. I don't have the patience for this, but I am glad that some (~Deb) do. And there are probably a bunch on YouTube that I wish lacked the skill to upload vids, but that is something else.

Academy Awards
I missed the Academy Awards this year, and you know, my life did not change. I did watch omovies summary, and I think I got caught up. I have not been to see an award-nominated movie in quite some time (I did not see Batman because it looked too violent). Don't get me wrong, I like artsy films. But I guess I am more used to a film being in a foreign language to make it artsy.

Blue Juice
I listened to part of Blue Juice, a really bad 1995 movie starring Sean Pertwee as JC, a twenty-something surfer, who is more of a surfer kid than an adult. The best part of the movie is in the first scene, where you see JC with full frontal nudity. Well, there is a strategically placed sock that keeps the movie at an R rating. Catherine Zeta-Jones plays Chloe, his girlfriend. Chole's best line, "Are you telling a woman with a pan of burning fat in her hand that she doesn't know what she is doing?" The film is set in Australia, and I wonder if Catherine Zeta-Jones has a good Australian accent. I have no idea, actually, because I have not been down under.

Anyway, I think if a movie is free on the web (and there is no copyright infringement), I can almost guess that it is old or it is crappy. This one is sort of crappy. There are touching points (about the one hour point, where they talk into a "lie detector blow hole"), but it is normally a bit flat. Or does it go from charming to flat, a bit uneven for a film.

Oh, and is it just me, or could you even imagine Catherine Zeta-Jones being Sean Connery's love interest in Entrapment. He is so sexy, but I just don't see the two of them together.

RPI and Basketball
The RPI (Rating Percentage Index) is a measure of strength of schedule and how a team does against that schedule. Created in 1981, the RPI is a tool used in selecting and seeding the 65 teams for the NCAA Men's basketball Division I tournament. This sentence is taken directly from its definition. But when I looked at the numbers, Tennessee had a #1 strength of schedule. Tennessee plays in the SEC, and according to everyone, they suck this year. Okay, this is by someone who pulls for Georgia Tech. Anyway, how can Tennessee be #1 in SOS when they play in a conference that sucks? I don't know too much about men's basketball, but this makes no sense to me.

Carpe Diem
"If you had one shot, one opportunity to seize everything you wanted. Would you capture it, or just let it slip away?" I heard these lines, or similarities to them, recently on a television program. Okay, I admit it, the lines are a bit lame. I think they were written that way on purpose. But you know, for most of us, I think we let these moments slip away. Sort of sad, really.

Flixter
Flixster.com is a new-ish site. I wonder why they are not being sued by Flicker. Or Twitter. Or both.

Movies
Is it just around here, or do the movie theaters seem more crowded? I want to watch A Powerful Noise but there is some stink associated with the phrase "town hall meeting." Whenever I hear that, I think, "A meeting where we all bitch and agree with one another but nothing gets done." March 6 is when Watchmen premiers. Oh, and that is Malin Akerman on the movie poster. Not sure who she is, but I think people will go just to see her in spandex.


Tagged
I don't like doing memes, and tags are just sort of memes. But since I sort of poked at Ian earlier in the week, he tagged me. Instead of just forgetting, I am going to list 10 sites with attitude. Because I have a bit of 'tude myself, I am not going to follow through with the entire request, telling them that they have an award.

Anyway, here are the rules, some of which I will not be following:

Rules for the award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate at least 10 blogs, which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5. Nominate your favorites and link to this post.

Here are my nominations, in a particular order, the result of an algorithm that involves numerology, metaphysics and Ti Chi:

1. Let Me Go On and On. Okay, my very own lesbian crush.
2. Grantochrist. If you ignore the J-bunnies, a really funny read.
3. Cup 'o Joe. The only HR person you will ever like.
4. SSC. Joe's main squeeze.
5. Heart of a Family. A day in the life of a super Mom with a child with special needs.
6. Xmichra. 'Nuff said. Don't want to make Deb jealous.
7. Dr. Deb. Always engaging.
8. Mal's Mumblings. One smart cookie.
9. Saur. I don't read her often, but a good blog with good 'tude.
10. A Tail of Two Towns. If you get jealous easily, skip this one. He lives in paradise.

Oh, and if I didn't list you? Maybe that is because I like you more. Did I mention I don't like tags and memes?

Random Friday #25

Verizon Conversation
I saw this video on YouTube some time ago, and I knew I could write about it. Problem is, I did not want to develop the idea. Guess I should just start a Random Post. Better than developing a post.

Anyway, it is a tape recording of a conversation between two Verizon employees and a customer. And in this case, the customer is right, but neither employee (manager and someone working the phones) can tell the difference between dollars and cents. I think the basic problem is . . . that the employees are idiots. Sorry, it is just that neither employee understand that units of measure are important. Anyone who has ever baked knows units are important - think of adding one tablespoon instead of a teaspoon of salt.

The Watchmen
I just saw a trailer for the movie: The Watchmen. In the trailer, they make the claim, "the most celebrated graphic novel of all time." I have never heard of the graphic novel – just saw some movie posters in movie theaters before reading the above blog entry. I had not a clue what it was about.

I have never read a graphic novel, and I sort of write this with pride. I mean, when I first heard the term, I thought it was an erotic novel. I just did not connect that graphic was in "picture" not expressing the words on the page. I have seen graphic novels in bookstores, but I have not really opened the books. I guess I consider them "comic books" and I am not interested in comics. I am not a 12-year-old boy. Sometimes I think this makes me close-minded. Not giving graphic novels a chance.

Pop Culture: Invading HS Students Lives
I don't do pop culture. I think it is fappid. I found a site that was supposed to teach me about pop culture. Actually, I think it is a guy's top 50 hottest women in all sorts of categories. For instance, in sports, there is a girl by the name of Allison at #3 (her last name is on the site, but she is a GIRL - a high school girl. From the site: "Allison is a pole vaulter for the California high school. She doesn’t have any major sport achievements to date, but she became immensely popular on the Internet after a big website featured her pictures. Well, after I saw the images I became her biggest fan immediately."

She is a high school girl, for gosh sakes. What is wrong with these people?

Reading Comments
I try to read and to respond to comments. And occasionally, very occasionally, I re-read a comment. I have re-read this comment perhaps a dozen times:

Well that's what I mean by text being misconstrued, however I beg to differ re: my extreme creativity, because I certainly cannot transition so beautifully as this: "I believe the ability to create and express yourself in an artistic way is a product of the number of orgasms you can achieve on a given evening."

That my dear, is creative! ;) I love your transitions.

After reading this, I decided to write a few complementary comments of other bloggers. I am not sure my comments had the same effect – probably didn't – but I hope they did. I was on cloud nine.

New Blogs
I was going outside of my comfort zone recently, and I found a New Blog. By new, I don't mean new to me. Well, it is new to me, but it is also a brand new blog. Jasmine is the author, and it is called An Experiment in Poverty. It is always hard to give your heart to a new blog . . . because so many of them don't seem to get off the ground. There are a few good posts, and then nothing. Not sure about this one, though. Perhaps it is the start of a wonderful blog. She posts no pictures of scantily clad Japanese women, she is not a Washington DC insider, and she is not from the refined South (Georgia). But in reading her, I remember what was going on with me right after college. When I was just starting out as an adult.

Leesa's Mailbag: Issue 1

I was looking at some things I did on my blog last week, and here are a couple of things that did not stand the test of time (they ended up being sort of lame):

1. YouTube Reviews. I started writing YouTube videos in December 2006, initially because I discovered it for myself and I wanted to give people exposure to their videos. I try posting them on Saturday, and you can see previous reviews by clicking on my YouTube label. But then I got bored with it. Perhaps I will write a YouTube video review every once in a while. We will see.

2. Web 2.0 Commentary. I have start writing certain blog entries that deal with Web 2.0. Mostly blogging and vlogging stuff, but I hope to add value to this important topic.

I think the YouTube reviews were lame for two reasons: (1) writing about homemade videos is more boring that watching homemade videos, and (2) I had to watch a lot of YouTube videos. The reason Web 2.0 fell out of favor was that I really did not know a lot about it.

Well, I am trying a new weekly, monthly or semi-annual blog entry called "Leesa's Mailbag." It will depend on the interest. Over the last few years, people have emailed me with questions, and I have answered them on an individual basis. Now, I think I will answer them on a blog entry. Perhaps Friday. Not sure I will get enough questions to do this often, but I will try to answer questions. Sort of an Ann Landers with attitude. Just write to the following email address:

Here are some questions answered in recent comments:

Knot wrote: I used to have a friend who told some of the most convincing stories. Not sure how many of them were real, but I guess 60% were false.

Leesa's answer: It is simple math. If you know what percentage of them were false, you can calculate the percentage of them which were real. The calculation follows:

Real % = 100% - False %

If 60% were false, then 40% would be real. But don't worry, love, congress has the same problem when balancing the budget. Of course, their confusion costs us money.

Funny thing was that I looked at a bunch of other answers I gave, and they were all not funny and a bit boring. Now I am wondering if doing this will be sort of like my other endeavors (see YouTube Reviews and Web 2.0 Commentaries above).

Followers
A few weeks ago, I mentioned a new Blogger gadget (I think they call them widgets) called "follower." I actually found a blog using the widget who had no followers at the time. That made me sort of sad.

And I got a question on followers: Anonymous wrote: how does this follower thing work?

Leesa's answer: Looks like Google/Blogger has a new widget for this. They wrote about it in August, actually, but I am sure many of us don't read "The Official Blogger Buzz."I think it is a way to stalk people. It might not be as satisfying as going onto their page and refreshing every few minutes, while cackling maniacally, but it still does the job.

Remember Me: YouTube Video

Lizzie Palmer made a YouTube video called "Remember Me." It aired on Fox News Sunday.



I watched this video, and what is interesting, is that after I watched it, I noticed that the first video that was "related", was on Oral Sex. Not sure what that was about. Definitely a way to remember someone, but it was not the point of the video.

My regular Wednesday post will be tomorrow (I try to post M-W-F). I guess tomorrow being Wednesday, you might guess I would post tomorrow.

Random Friday #22

The Singing Patient
I got a comment this week from someone called "The Singing Patient". Well, her name is Carla Ulbrich – she is a mucician who is also a blogger. You can see her music here. She has lupus, she is a newlywed, and I love her sense of humor.

Public Television
I read in the paper that the government is thinking of cutting public television again. I remember fondly about public television when I was growing up. Personally, I think they are talking about cutting funding for the same reason that local governments talk about cutting libraries – they want to scare people into accepting higher taxes.

I was looking at public television the other day, and I know it is supposed to be commercial-free. But when the television tells you about a product and gives you a phone number, it sort of feels like a commercial.

Weird Saying
My mom, when talking about her early years of marriage, would say, "We were so poor that we did not have a pot to piss in." You know, I don't think Bill Gates has a pot that he pisses in, either, and, well, he is doing pretty well for himself. And if I were really poor but had a pot, I think I would be making stew and soup, not using it for a restroom. Doesn't seem to make much sense.

Vista
I don't use MS Vista; I still use the last OS: Windows XP Professional. Apparently Vista must suck, because my husband has not mentioned purchasing it. It is sad when I assume that's why we have not installed it on the home machine.

Geek Girl TV
I watch Geek Girl TV on YouTube. I am not much of a computer geek, but I like the intro music by The Daze. Plus, I really like listening to technical stuff, even if it doesn't really make sense.

Iron Man
I saw Iron Man recently, and although I did not really like Robert Downey, Jr., or I should say I haven't until now, I liked him in the movie. I did not know that there was an Iron Man superhero, but apparently he is pretty popular. I looked him up on Google, and Iron Man debuted in 1963. Who would have known? I am not a big comic book person. I think comic books serve a purpose: limiting the genetic success of their readers – but I don't understand the draw. I love to read, and to read sentences that are not surrounded by bubbles. Oh, I meant to say that I actually enjoyed Iron Man, surprising for me and my husband. Yeah, I agreed to see it so I get to pick next time. Perhaps we will see The Edge of Heaven, if we can find some local movie house that is playing it. I really want to see the new Indiana Jones movie, but I am downplaying it with hubbie. I want him to think this is a sacrifice for me. I am sneaky that way.

Bill O'Reily
I don't watch Bill O'Reily (because I don't watch much TV and I am more liberal than conservative). But he had on Marina, one of the YouTube people I watch.



Have a great weekend!

Random #21: Not So Random

Playboy on YouTube
Someone sent me a link to a YouTube video; apparently Playboy is using YouTube to help pick the playmate for their 55th anniversary. Here is the sad thing: the video has been up for a month and there are only a tad less than ten thousand views. Ten people have rated the video, and there was one comment when I saw it on Thursday. I have a feeling that Playboy is a bit past its prime.

The playboy channel on YouTube is getting lots of views. I mean, they talk about Theesomes, the Olive Garden, and . . . well, I sort of got bored. Sorry, Grant, I did not find any Asian women.

Masturbation Month
I got an eCard saying that the month of May is masturbation month. Should that be capitalized? I don't know. There was a link to Tara something-or-other (definitely not work safe), and instead of just the site, it was lined to an MP3 file. I actually clicked on the link, not knowing what it was, and a co-worker overheard, "I am going to sit here and play with myself, and . . ." before I killed Windows Media Player.

At the Gym
A friend emailed the following to me earlier this week: "As I was pulling into the gym parking lot at lunch, I noticed someone waiting from a parking space right out front, next to the disabled parking spaces. I often wonder why people try to get the closest space when going to the gym – I just find the first space I can pull through and park. The extra twenty steps don’t seem to be a big deal. Can’t people pretend their workout starts in the parking lot?"

Okay, I edited it a bit. But I think it is funny.

Leaving Early Today
I may leave work a bit early today, and I can't really think of too many other things to write about. Have a good weekend.

Random Friday #19

I keep vacillating from planning on posting five days per week (Monday through Friday) to three days (Monday-Wednesday-Friday). It all boils down to my simple rules concerning blogging. You need to post on a routine basis in order to hold people's attention. The thing is that posting every work day is easy for people to remember. Posting on one day per week also is easy to remember. Posting on Monday-Wednesday-Friday confuses the hell out of me. I wonder if it confuses other people.

Part of my change is that one third of my entries would be random posts. I started posting randomly to get rid of ideas that did not have enough substance to make a regular post.

Target
I have always liked Target. I pronounce it "Tar-shea" and have ever since I was a teenager. I am not sure it is any different than Wal-Mart (they can't squeeze their wholesalers like Wal-Mart), but I have always liked them. What I never understood is why they would want to use a hunting target as their image. Yes, we want our customers to think about shooting arrows into bails of hay decorated with our company logo. Just does not make sense to me. But I like their stores.

Authors
Wanting to publish a book seems to be a common fantasy, but I have thought about authors, and the one's you know about seem to have pretty messed up lives. I mean, if they are not snorting cocaine or being alcoholics, they get hit by cars or shoot themselves with shotguns. Who knows. Several of them have done three or four of those activities.

YouTube Partners
To drive content creation, YouTube has established partnerships with people to encourage them. You notice that Google (same parent company) has not done the same with Blogger? I mean, I don't want any of their money. But I find it interesting – and I guess they don't have to pay writers because so many people want to write. With YouTube, there are tons of other places to post videos and I guess they want to keep them on YouTube.

Captain and Tennille
I was thinking of a song the other day. I don't know the name of the song, but, embarrassingly, the version I have in my head is by Captain and Tennille. One of the lines goes, "once is never enough with a man like you." When I was younger, I really did not know what the song was about. Now that I am older, okay, I still don't know what the song is about. Partly, because I can't remember all of the words.

But the line got me to thinking: is she saying that for some men, once is plenty. I mean, she does not say that, but it is inferred. And I think that thought is hilarious. Captain and Tennille also sang Muscrat Love. I am not sure they could have gotten away with that song now-a-days. Animal love is verboten.

You know, I thought Toni Tennille died, but after Googling her, she has a fan website, a blog (she is also thinking of taking time off), et cetera. I really thought Toni Tennille died of an eating disorder. How could I have gotten her confused with Karen Carpenter? Both are/were a husband and wife team, where they featured the wife.

JargonFish
I got a message from Blog Catalog, touting a new widget called Jargon Fish. My first reaction is that it looks really crappy. I don't like junk on my site. But I like the idea of a tool that would link similar ideas from my site to other sites. For instance, if I was writing a story of cum stains that resembled certain personalities, you would probably want to read other similar articles? True?

New Source of Stem Cells
When I was in college, people made extra money by going to the blood bank. Now, I can imagine a menstrual fluid bank. I can see it now, "Wanted: Kind, courteous support staff to help with harvesting of menstrual stem cells. Must be willing to take abuse from some who have PMS into days one and two." Actually, I did not know any women who sold their blood (or more accurately, platelets). Now college co-eds will have something to sell for beer/pizza money.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Random Friday #18

Connections
I was watching a YouTube video the other day, and although I rarely click their suggested videos, there was one by David Sedaris that looked interesting. Well, that led to one by Amy Sedaris, and then I wanted to see if the two were married, so I went on Google with Amy's name, and came up with an IMDB page for Amy, and the first movie on her list, Puberty: The Movie, where she plays the voice of Paulie the penis. I eventually learned that Amy is the younger sister of David, which was a relief. I mean, can you imagine how David would have felt, being married to a woman who was cast as a penis? This could be the twenty-first century version of the Oedipus complex.

Nena and 99 Luftballons
I saw a comment on a blog I read the other day about "99 Red Balloons." The high schooler said something about blasting this song on their car one day. Anyway, she indicated the festive environment was aided by the song. Of course, the song is about ninety-nine balloons floating into the air, triggering an apocalyptic overreaction by military forces. Didn’t know that was party music. And they are red in the American version, not the German version.

Blog Roll Cheating
A week or so ago, I went to one of my favorite blogs (I will not link to him/her because I want everyone to think it is you) and he/she took down her blog roll. I mean who takes down their blog roll? Oh, and I sometimes use her blog roll, and I sort of feel like I am cheating. Weird, huh?

Done with Education
I heard a college senior say that they will graduate in May, and that they are done with their education. That they no longer "will be a slave to their professors." Note to self: don't hire this person. Someone who thinks they are done learning. Isn't that part of life? After college?

Bunny Boiler
I saw this on YouTube. It is a show called Bunny Boiler, I think, in reference to the Fatal Attraction scene. I wanted to write something about it. But I really couldn't think of a whole post for this one. I know women are competitive, but not like the clip. We are a bit more manipulative than that. Oh, and someone sent me the clip on September 9, 2007. Yeah, I deleted another "draft" blog entry by placing the embedded clip on the Friday post. Yea, me!



YouTube Recommendation
On Friday, a long time ago, I would post twice, one for my normal Friday post (it may or may not be a random post), and a second post that included a couple of YouTube recommendations. Generally speaking, people did not like the YouTube recommendations.

So, I decided to plant random recommendations inside of my Friday post. Michael Inouye, otherwise known as minouye, is a YouTube personality who is somewhat popular. I don't know if he is very popular because not a lot of people make fun of him. He has started doing a weekly vlog that is wonderful – it is about politics, but in a humorous way. He did a four or five part series on some sort of computer game (WOW, can't remember what it stands for and am too lazy to Google it; I just know it is all-consuming and there are lots of levels) once that was fascinating. I think he took down those videos, perhaps because the subject of the video may have received unwanted attention.

Anyway, I think he does vlogs that are entertaining an inciteful.



Tired
I am just tired, and I have three days of Church to attend. A freakin' marathon. Yeah, me cursing having to go to Church. Too bad I just visited the priest in Confession earlier this week. I would have liked to hear his reaction.

Random Friday #17

YouTube Christian
For some reason, I got to a new YouTube user named ZenithXLT. She starts out a video response to someone else. Apparently she has a dinosaur video which is much more interesting. After all, dinosaurs trump religion. Just think about Saturday morning: would you rather watch "The Flintstones" or "Davey and Goliath." I really don't watch a lot of videos any more, but I thought she was interesting. So if you like to hear other Christian viewpoints, subscribe to her (I am Subscriber #16). If I did a YouTube review, I would on her. But I got bored with that, and really, most of my readers could care less about YouTube. Plus I keep hearing about dogs on skateboards on YouTube, but I have not seen the video. I would love to see a squirrel on a skateboard.

She started her video with asking what you would rather have: (1) A human woman who may stray but come back to you, or (2) a robot girl. My response was easy: A robot man with multiple attachments. Well, that's how I started my response. I wanted to talk about determinism and Saint Augustine's views, but after talking about a robot's sexual attachments, I thought perhaps my credibility was shot.

Poor Wellesley
I saw a t-shirt the other week which read: "Glass ceilings were made to be broken: Wellesley Students for Hillary". Tuition for the 2006-2007 school year cost $32,384. Their alumni include Hillary Clinton (obviously) and Madame Chiang Kai-Shek (Wellesley ‘17). Sorry, but I don't believe Wellesley girls reach glass ceilings.

Behind Every Good Man . . .
I read the other day that Stephen King through away the first four pages of a novel that eventually became Carrie. His wife found it in the trash, said he had something good, and urged him to continue. Throughout history, you can find women who help make their husbands succeed. Dwight D. Eisenhower had Mamie, FDR had Eleanor Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton had . . . . Oh, yeah, we don't know if she is a woman. I want to start a new saying of first ladies. "She's no Dolley Madison." I don't think it will catch on.

Mercury Rising
From a news source: "Compact fluorescent lamps - those spiral, energy-efficient bulbs popular as a device to combat global warming - can pose a small risk of mercury poisoning to infants, young children, and pregnant women if they break, two reports concluded yesterday."

Moldy Bread
Many of you know I have OCD. While I hated when my peas touched my green beans (but I loved eating Chinese food), I used to eat moldy bread. Well, when I was growing up, we were very frugal. Being poor will do that to you. Not poor, but definitely below medium income. I picked mold off some bread today, but it was not because we are still poor. It is really good artesian bread, and I did not want to waste it.

Presents for Children
I have lots of nieces and nephews to purchase presents for throughout the year. I like to get them stuff that their parents would never buy them (they are semi-spoiled anyway), and I get bonus points for purchasing things which annoy the parents. This was easy when they were little: percussion toys did the trick nicely. Or a fluffy toy cat that meows annoyingly for that "dog family." As they get older, it is harder and harder to buy for them, with my somewhat unusual requirements. I got one nephew a farting book. That was not the name of the book, but it was all about toots. And not just human toots. He read it to his parents for weeks. Score one for Leesa. And I bought another book that is in the closet for when he gets a little older. A book on statology. I hope I am not remembered as the poopy aunt. That would sort of backfire on my master plan.

Bush – Clinton
I think the Bushs and the Clintons should intermarry and breed a whole new bunch of leaders of our nation. After all, after Hillary and Jeb, there aren't too many others we can elect and our nation is intent on keeping these two families in power.

Numbering
I have been numbering my random posts. I wonder if I mis-counted, would anybody notice.

Molokai, Hawaii
Father Damien lived in Molokai, where he cared for lepers throughout his life. He gave them Catholic sacraments when no one else would. He caught leprosy and died. How many of us would risk our lives for strangers? Oh, firemen, police, soldiers, sailors, airman and marines.

All Thumbs
I hurt my thumb the other day, and I really did not realize that I needed it to type. I mean, howoftendoyoupressthespacebar?

Banana Splits for My Baby

ysabellabrave is a YouTube star, and she recently sang "Banana Splits for My Baby", a song written by Louie Prima. Louie Prima was a New Orleans (jazz) musician who started out a classical pianist. When someone asked Elvis where he got the wiggle, Elvis responded, "From Louis Prima, of course." I am a bit younger than that, so I remember him as King Louis in Disney's Jungle Book.

Banana split for my baby, a glass of plain water for me
Banana split for my baby, a glass of plain water for me
Dispenser man, if you please, serve my chick a mess of calories
Banana split for my baby, a glass of plain water for me

Client Number 9

I wrote this before Ms. Spitzer resigned yesterday. I really thought he would hang on for a few weeks. And I saw something a few minutes ago by minouye that covers this with a lot more humor, though he uses video (I would rather read the news).

For those of you who live under a rock, don't read this. It contains information that has been seen on newspapers, network news, heck, even YouTube. Everything is on YouTube, though, from balloon fetishes to Ron Paul commercials.

Here is the first few paragraphs that the Seattle Times led with:

When he was his state's attorney general, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer once broke up a call-girl ring and locked up 18 people on corruption, money-laundering and prostitution charges. He ruthlessly investigated the pay packages of Wall Street executives and was so familiar with shady financial maneuvers that he rose to become the top racketeering prosecutor in Manhattan.

But in the end, it appears Spitzer may have been done in by the same behavior he built a career out of prosecuting. Investigators said he spent perhaps as much as $80,000 with a high-priced prostitution service over an extended period of time.

For those of you living under rocks, you can read the entire story. The Seattle Times story was the first one that came up on Google News; it may not be the most authoritative story out there.

Before the other day, I had not heard of Eliot Spitzer. New York is the third most populous state (I think: California, Texas, New York; maybe New York is two), and I had no idea he was governor. Of course, I am not an expensive call girl living in DC.

Here is what disturbs me about the story:

1. No formal charges have been made. It disturbs me for two reasons: (1) Normal citizens would have been charged by now, and (2) if no formal charges have been made, why even talk about this.
2. Buried somewhere is the fact that he is a money launderer. I know that sex sells, but this is the real big (time in jail) thing about what he did.
3. Silda Wall Spitzer, why the hell are you by your man's side. Skip the news conference and go on a binge. Stay in the room and drink to your heart's content. Now is the time, lady. Patti Page's hit (Stand By Your Man) does not apply here.
4. Most people don't get it. It is not that Eliot Spitzer was seeing a prostitute (across state lines, in violation of the federal Mann Act). It is that what he is doing is embarrassing, damaging to his career, and thus the perfect thing to blackmail the man with.

The last thing that bothers me (the potential blackmail thing) is the reason that people should resign. I don't know if he goes to jail if he can continue to serve as governor. Some would rather he be in jail; at least his wife knows who he is screwing.

I would love a job where I could say: I really don't want to deal with things at the office right now; things are getting too hot. I am going to chill with me and the family. Maybe Slida will wear the leather bodysuit I bought Kristen her ….

I really feel for Slida, though she probably knows who she married. Well, it is sometimes hard to feel bad for a Harvard-educated wife of a multi-millionaire. But there it is.

Most interesting factoid about the news: Spitzer is a super delegate who supports Hillary Clinton. Maybe that's why Slida was standing by her man after all.

Random Friday #15

Wonderblog
The other day, I found out that Mr. Whipple, of Charmin fame, died. Well, he died in November, and I found out here. The name of the blog is Wonderful Wonderblog, and when I looked at some of the entries – a lot of them have to do with people who have died recently. He has four February entries, two of which are about people who have died (Steve Gerber and Shell Kepler). Okay, I don't have a clue who these two people are, but I find it strange that someone with wonderful in his blog name has three RIPs that I noticed.

On Children
Every two or three months, I go to the Caring Bridge site and look at people's personal sites. My last link to them was Ethan Hoffman, and I have not been on the sits in a while. Ethan died in October 2007. I did not know the parents, but I followed some of their struggles. They have a slideshow on another site. Don't visit if you don't want to sob. One of the sites I used to visit was for someone who lost her dad. She wrote encouraging things to the parent's families, so I tripped over her URL a lot. Well, she has a lot of haters, because I think, most believe she turned her site into a personal blog. These sites are supposed to be about families going through life-threatening illnesses (mostly cancers). And most of the sites are for children.

I find it interesting that there are haters on a site dedicated to offering comfort. One of the first children I saw on Caring Bridge was Olivia, and I wrote about it a long time ago.

James Blunt
James Blunt has a song called "Your Beautiful", and every time I hear it, I bawl. A couple of years ago, several Caring Bridge sites (including Olivia's) had some video to the song or the song playing in the background.

The other day, someone was bashing James Blunt, and I piped up, saying, "Oh, I like him."

The guy's retort: "All that proves is that you have a uterus."

I felt insulted. I tried to think of a comeback, but I couldn't.

Mad Dog Mengden
Someone sent me a YouTube video, and it is pretty funny. Molly Ivins is a journalist (or humorist), and although the video is professionally edited, it is hard to believe this subject.

I am not from Texas, but I learned two things about Texas law:

1. Owning six dildos is makes one a felon, but owning five dildos makes one a hobbyist.
2. The State of Texas made sodomy a crime. Originally the senators just wanted to make homosexual sodomy a crime, but because it would probably be considered unconstitutional because it was discriminatory, so they made all sodomy illegal.

Oh, and after I watched the video, it suggested this video that is more audio than video (a gag phone call). Funny as heck.



Time Off Together
Grant and ~Deb have been taking time away from blogging at the same time. It is sort of like watching two co-workers leave for lunch at about the same time. First thought is that they are sleeping together. By "first thought" I meant my first thought, not yours.

TV with the Sound Down
The other day I was watching television, and my hubbie called (he was still at work). I turned the television to mute and then answered it. I was watching NCIS, and when talking on the phone to my hubbie, I realized that you could watch NCIS and still get the full impact. Mark Harmon is a hottie. I am not sure what the show is about, but Mark Harmon is a hottie. I have heard from reliable sources (reading the headlines from rags while waiting in line at the grocery store) that Mark Harmon is sort of a difficult guy in real life. Well, guess I should consider the source, because he is a hottie. Did I mention that?

Medical Questions
I posted a long time ago about something related to colon cleansing, and I thought about it the other day. I googled it at work, and I got a lot of hits. I mean, a lot of hits. And it seems like everybody is cleaning out their colons. Makes me wonder if I am alone in not cleaning myself out. Guess I need to work on this.

Word Verification
For Asian Porn, click here.

Okay, now that Grant is gone, I have an idea. I heard Grant say recently that he doesn't get spam and his word verification is turned off. Please, everyone, including lurkers, go to Grant's blog and place some spam. Say something very spammy. Oh, and if you can't think of something spammy, go here.

I wanted to do somethign for this very special day, "Leap Year Day," but I could not think of anything fun to do.

The Holy Land

I saw the following commercial on YouTube a while back (March 19, 2007, to be exact).



For those of you who don't click on videos (or those who have videos blocked at work), the video is an ad for Israel and they are using sex to sell the idea of going to Israel. Now, I am not posting this just so that the guys and girls can see sexy women in video format. No, that's not the point.

Hey, there is a replay button on the player. Neat.

Wait a minute, what was I attempting to write? Oh, yeah, someone made a commercial using sex to sell the Holy Land. Can you imagine the pitch? I mean, I don't know what the Israel Chamber of Commerce looks like, but I imagine a bunch of Hassidic Jews, Muslim Shaman and friendly Catholic Nuns sitting around a conference table, listening to advertising firms pitching ideas.

Ad Man: "We all know that Israel is the cradle of religion."

Hassidic Jew: "Actually, Egypt is known as the cradle of religion."

Ad Man: "Yeah, I knew that. I mean Israel has a crapload of religious stuff."

Catholic Nun: "I am not sure we would categorize this as crapload."

Ad Man: "The point is that when people think of Israel, they either think of people praying or people blowing other people up."

Muslim Shaman: "And you want us to market that vacationers can get blown up when they visit?"

Ad Man: "No, actually, people know about religion. And they know about the danger involved."

Pause while everyone looks at the ad man.

Ad Man: "I just think having a commercial with a little tits and ass would attract people to the Holy Land. Gets their minds off of the danger, and supplement the religion."

At least that's what I imagine when I view the commercial. That and thinking I did not know you could show your boobs off in the beaches in Israel. Makes one want to go. Damn ad man.

Random Friday #14

Strange Thought of the Dead
I always thought, well, when I was a little girl, at least, that when you die, you can sort of float around on the earth and observe others. Not an original thought, but a thought I have. Well, it just occurred to me that I have not masturbated since my grandparents have died. These events are not causally related. So, if you can view the living after you have died, my grandparents have never seen me masturbate. Of course, now, they have read about it on my frickin' blog. Crap.

Writer's Strike
The Writer's Strike ended on February 13, and I did not find out until the eighteenth. My guess is that this will not affect me too much. Plus I need to listen to the news more often. There are some news stories I just don't want to miss - like when Fidel Castro is going to step down. I have been paying attention since the 80s, and it would be a darned shame if I missed that story. I mean, I remember when he got sick . . . .

A History of Evil
I saw a YouTube video called "A History of Evil", partly because I thought there may have been a cameo by Grant. Not that Grant is really evil. I like the narrator's voice. The credits say the narrator is Brenna Callinan. Not that Brenna Callinan is evil. Not sure what the point of this is.

The Real News
There is a "news" program on YouTube: The Real News. Pretty soon we will all be writing news for others to read. Blogs, I guess, are sort of like this. "Oh, look, Janie got a new nose ring." And she posted a video, showing the experience. Neat. Sure glad Aunt Gladys can view this.

Cursing
Some people think that when people refrain from cursing, it shows weakness. I think those people are just sad. I know what you were thinking – that I would say that it fucking pisses me off. Sorry to disappoint.

Peeing
My hubbie has started a new habit with peeing. He starts to flush the toilet before he finishes peeing. At first, I thought, "What the hey, he pees standing up. Why does he need to save another five seconds with the flushing thing?" Well, sometimes he mis-judges, and has to flush the toilet twice. For pee. I just tell him he is killing fish. It doesn't seem to shame him into giving up this new habit.

Drawing
I have a niece and nephew and both can draw better than me. I can drive a car and they can't, so it is not like they have eclipsed me yet, but it is only a matter of time.

What is Real
There is so much we don't know. For instance, some people say vaccines are harmless. Some people disagree. Some people think cigarette smoking is harmless (okay, that cigarette smoke does not cause cancer), some do not. We get all kinds of information and I can't figure any of it out. I think it is better to just give up. Instead of looking for what is real, I guess we are starting to look for what is reasonable.

A Mortgage By Any Other Name
I hear all these stories about banks tightening up lending, and I don't believe it. I got an offer to refinance my home up to a certain amount. I think the bank bought my information from my mortgage company (yeah, I really think they sell this information), but instead of saying I could borrow up to a certain amount (the junk mail almost always uses the original loan amount), they have a typo, inserting a "1" before the amount. Er, that extra digit represents a million dollars. Darned fineprint probably says something about not borrowing more than the house is worth. I am tempted to contact the company. My husband just wants to frame the junk mail. How pathetic are we?

'Til Death Do Us Part (Maybe)

Part of me does not want to post today. I wrote a pretty decent¹ post yesterday, and knowing about blogging like I do, I know most people don't read more than one post deep. Well, unless the previous post is illustrated with full frontal nudity.

Plus, I have the crud. The crud that everyone seems to have now. I don't want to write.

I had a dream last night. I dreamt of my grandmother. I had a close relationship with my grandmother – she really was a special person. She lived a good, full life, dying in her mid-nineties. She was ready to die. All of my grandparents lived long lives, one of which even told me, nay, shocked me, when telling me once, "I am ready to die." I was young and idealistic, and did not really contemplate death until that day.

Well, my grandmother, after her death, started visiting me in my dreams.

The brain is a funny thing – made up of neurons soaking in organic liquid that gives us our thoughts – the "brain power" I am using to write this now is merely neurotransmitters – that's all science can prove. So I can't prove that my grandmother is visiting me from the grave. In fact, science can't help and my religion² can't either. Both are silent on the topic.

I chose to believe my grandmother visits me. She does so when I need answers. She talks in her own way, and sometimes she doesn't give me the answer I want to hear. Even if it is not really her, it gives me comfort. Perhaps the neurotransmitters in my brain are a little sweeter now that she has passed. And I don't even want to know what the Freudians would think of such a revelation.

Before a relative died, I was scared that all of this religion was wrong. That once you are laying in that pine box, you have made your last curtain call. You are no longer anything but food for whatever can penetrate that pine box. Personally, I hope they go after my neurotransmitters last.

I have a few more things to tell my grandmother.

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¹By pretty decent, I mean I made one decent point, referenced a couple of interesting YouTube people, and it only take twenty minutes to write.

²The Catholic Church used to believe in "speaking in tongues." You can see it in the second book of Acts (Acts 2:4-8). It can also be found in Mark, James and several other places in the Bible. The Catholic Church no longer acknowledges that people in this day in age can speak in tongues.

Discussing Religion

Prata brings up an interesting comment today, so instead of just responding in the comments section, I will devote a post to it. Okay, actually I have got nothing to write about again today, so this sort of acts as the filler.

I have discussed religion with lots of people, and you know, sometimes assumptions are made that are so full of crap. For instance, I assume that the person I am talking with knows about their own religion. And you know, that is not necessarily true.

I have heard others say, "Well, a neighbor of mine was Catholic, and he said . . . ." And it ends with a statement that is totally ridiculous. Like we don't really worship Jesus. I used to get mad at this, and then, after a while, I am just glad they did not torch the Catholic neighbors house.

But I do the same thing. There are a lot of Baptists in the area, and if I am talking to a Primitive Baptist, and they make a statement, I just take it on faith that they know what the hell they are talking about.¹ I don't go to their document of salvation and find out for myself. Partly because I am lazy, and it is easy for me just to poke holes in what they say, precisely because they sort of screwed something up. Generally, when you look at the doctrine up close, things seem a whole lot more plausible.

Catholics get razzed because priests can't marry and are supposed to be celibate. Did you know that Pope Silverius was the son of Pope Hormisdas? We are talking sixth century AD, so this was a long time ago. Well, I did not remember their names, but looked it up on Wikipedia. Still may not be right, but I have read and heard of a father-and-son pope. The Catholic Church did not always have this celibacy rule in effect.

Okay, there are some kooky rules for picking Pope, and I also sort of wonder why there have been so many Italian Popes. Pope Adrian VI, elected in 1522, was the only Dutch Pope, and last non-Italian to be elected pope until John Paul II in 1978. Now, it is hard for me to believe that the selection of a non-Italian Pope should only happen every 400 or so years.

The history of the Catholic Church – of many churches, really – can be really interesting.

I guess, my spastic point is to remember that just because someone belongs to a church, does not mean you should believe they know what that church really espouses. Oh, and you probably should not torch their house, even if they are wearing suits and giving out free Mormon Bibles.²

All of this religion got me to thinking about a recent – or not so recent – "Dictionary of Jack" video (song). JackDanyells, a really cute YouTuber, wrote and sang the original song, part of which is shown below:

The Ism Song
When it comes to religion
You can't go wrong
There's a million-billion isms
To help you find god
There's Taoism
Buddhism, Hinduism too,
And of course there's Judaism
For all the Jews.

omnism says religions are swell.
Atheism says there's no heaven or hell
Even Catholicism has its cross to bare
And there's always agnosticism
If you just don't care

Oh, and I have to imbed the video because he is so hot. I mean, because he is so insightful and clever.



Considering most of my audience is male, I guess I should imbed Hot for Words as well. If I was from another country and had implants and blond hair, I guess I would be her.



So much for me not having anything to say today.

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¹Yes, I purposefully placed the words "faith" and "hell" close to one another. Just because.

²I knew a friend who assumed the Mormon Bible was just another version of the King James Bible. Er, yeah, I have some really dumb friends.

Improvements

Holy crap.

I was answering my few comments this morning and found the following box below my name: "Email follow-up comments to" and my email address.

And I thought to myself, "holy crap." Did I say that? Did I?

When I was more active in blogging, this improvement would have been pretty cool.

You know, I sort of assumed that Google stopped supporting Blogger, focusing its efforts on YouTube. With the networks talking about YouTube "celebrities", it sort of makes sense. But just when you think Google is just keeping Blogger around without improvements, they go ahead and make tweaks.

Similarly, or perhaps not similarly, the US Government has "improved" Daylight Savings Time. Now, the United States has been doing the same thing concerning Daylight Savings Time for a heck of a long time. I did not want to look it up, so let's say that DST has not changed much since the invention of electricity.

Until last year. Then MS Outlook burped on the change, and people could not get to their meetings for a couple of weeks. Oh, and afterwards, the reason for making the change (saving electricity, energy) actually did not materialize. Turns out the change actually cost us money. And this year, we are doing it again. Wasting more electricity, heating oil and whatever, and we are getting ready to miss more meetings.

I sort of like having the time change in early October. And I am a bit afraid of that "Email follow-up comments to" box.

Random Friday #9

I have started and stopped Random Friday a couple of times, not really being focussed on the effort. Colleen, on the other hand, has just celebrated her 100th Thursday Thirteen. Now that is quite impressive. I have counted my random Friday posts, and I was surprised this was only number nine.

Drugs
If I were some drug-selling pusher, I would have my "office" behind a Walgreens. That way, when some dope head figures they will go to the drug store to score some more weed, I can get their business. Why hasn't anyone else figured this one out, yet? Oh, and kids, don't do drugs.

Lie Machines
You know, if we could tell when people are lying, less people would try to lie. And the world would be a better place – though the politicians would be more interesting to hear.

"Vote for me. I will try not to raise taxes, but in the end, bribes from special interest groups will force me to change my mind. Then, when they take me to task in the media, I will retreat with my mistress to Camp David."

Animal Print Undies
What is the deal with animal print undies? I mean, I know, a long time ago, we wore animal skins. Well, not me, but our ancestors. Still, why the fascination with animal skins. It just reminds me of the 70s, before killing endangered species for economics or sport was frowned upon.

Crackling Records
Earlier this week, I linked to a YouTube video for American Pie. And at the beginning of the recording, you could hear the crackling of the record. You know, in the twenty years or so since CDs were mass marketed, I have sort of forgotten about the sounds of a record. I listened to American Pie several times, and it made me feel good. The music sounded better – not clearer or anything. It sounded like music I grew up with.

Jumping on Beds
Growing up, I had a record player (not a turntable) in my room. And we listened to 45s every day. But we did not just listen to records, we experienced them. We would take our shoes off, put on a stack of 45s, and just jump to the music on the bed. I do not recommend doing this as an adult (a trip to the ER would dampen my spirits).

Google Definitions
The other day I saw a comment in mememolly's YouTube account that said, "I am a 'Molly' too." So what did I do? I used Google and typed in "define:Molly" to see what the definition of that type of Molly was. Well, the first definition came back with was "fourth grade student, in Ms. Malvin's class at Worley Elementary, who asked a question for the crew of the S.S. Enterprise about where waste goes." Well, I clicked on the link to the page to see exactly what this was - the definition looked a little too specific. Well, the definition was for "McCook, Molly", and it was part of a Star Trek Enterprise online dictionary. Well, I guess I have two take-away points from this experience: (1) The woman who said she was a molly too must be a female mule, and (2) there is a lot of strange stuff on the Internet.

Pat Benatar
Every time I hear "Love is a Battlefield", I wonder about Pat Benatar and her love life. And as I type this, I can hear Prata's voice in my head. He would be wondering why I am thinking about Pat Benatar, when Holly Knight wrote the song. Fair enough, but I still wonder about the song.

Numerology
I like numbers. If two bad things happen in the news, I always am looking for a third. Something to do with the old wives' tale, "Bad news comes in threes." I stay the heck away from seven dwarfs. Sevens, forties, sixes¹, forty-twos², many prime numbers. Lots of numbers are special. But you know what, numerology is a bunch of bunk.

Reunions
I have successfully ducked every high school reunion I have had thus far. It is not that I don't want to see these people. I guess I just don't want them to know what I have been up to. I have seen some of my classmates in the news. Not being led off in handcuffs, but actually doing great things. Well, things that bring attention to themselves.

Learning Flemish
Has anyone you know, love or respected said they wanted to learn Flemish? No, me neither. Sounds like the native speakers should live in a country called Flem, which Americans would spell Phelm, and would not know that it was located in northern and western Belgium.

Katherine Heigl's Emmy
Katherine Heigl's mother told her she "didn’t have a chance in hell" of winning the Emmy. But Katherine Heigl also said that her mother is very supportive. Not sure those words are necessarily supportive. Can you imagine going to your little girl's softball game and telling her, "Sweetie, I can't believe you actually hit the ball"? After saying, for good measure, "you didn't have a chance in hell of hitting the ball."

Maybe not. I feel so random today.

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¹A perfect number. The proper divisors (1, 2, and 3) both add and multiply to get 6.

²A primary pseudoperfect number.