Resolutions

Okay. First post of the year. And I was thinking of just saying, "I don't want to make a New Year's Resolution; I am pretty damn perfect already." But that is just not how I am. There is a t-shirt I have seen that said, "Change is good. You go first." And that's how we mostly see things. Most of us don't want to change. That's why New Years Resolutions are a bitch.

So here are my New Years Resolutions, and the reasoning for each:

1. Don't fuck strangers in club lavatories. Okay, there are two reasons for this New Year's Resolution; it is not a good idea to do this, and it is sort of an easy resolution to have come true.

2. Don't get pregnant. Okay, this is a tricky New Year's Resolution. If you have read some of my older blog entries, you know that hubbie and I are an "infertile couple." And since I rarely keep resolutions, I thought I would make this one and hopefully not keep it. Sort of tricking the resolutions gods, so to speak. It probably won't work, but what the heck. What do I have to loose with this resolution.

3. Write a book. I have had this resolution for the last few years. And I have not really done anything about it. Part of me thinks this blog is sort of keeping me from writing a book, actually. I get my "creative fix" or "lack-of-creativity fix" form this blog, and so I don't write other things. Plus I use energy on this blog that I could use on other things. But every time I think of not blogging, I wonder if the result would be to write something that is less than what I want it to be. You see, I use this blog to polish my writing, and so I should be able to get the results of that and write something important. Can you imagine writing a book that people will be placing on EBay 20 years from now? First edition of Leesa's book – rare (son-of-a-bitch, small press run), in good condition (son-of-a-bitch, they never read the damn book). But people are bidding on the book because they want it, they want to leaf through the pages, they want to experience the words while nestled in their beds, letting the stress of the day subside. Okay, another resolution that probably won't happen. But maybe.

4. Loose weight. This is a resolution I have started before the New Year, but you know, I have lost a little weight already. Half-way there, so I am actually sort of confident that I may be able to nail this resolution. How about reaching my ideal weight before bikini season this year? Not things of Nobel Prize stature, but what the heck, I don't want to accept the award in Sweden anyway. I can't talk that funny. Think of Kermit's Swedish Chef.

5. Promote world peace. This is one of those Miss America ideas, but you know, as long as I do this quietly, I won't be a finalist for the Nobel Prize (again, I don't want to go to Sweden). Not going to Sweden is really motivational for me. Anyway, instead of holding Middle East talks, or baking cookies for President Bush's cabinet, I think I will promote world peace in more quiet and subtle ways. I will not honk my horn at idiot drivers. I will not say "Thank you" for presents that I don't want or like. I will smile more often. Hopefully these little things will promote world peace. I figure if a butterfly's wing beating can cause a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, then smiling can inspire world peace.

Happy New Year!