There are certain phrases I just don't believe.
Please listen to the following options as our menu has recently changed.
For instance, if I call an 800 number and here the recording start, "Please listen to the following options as our menu has recently changed," I think one of two things: (1) your options have not changed in 9 months, liar, or (2) do you change options frequently to confuse the hell out of your customers? Either way, I am annoyed.
I hate phone trees. I mean, I know they are suppose to cost the company less to maintain, but I always either punch zero or say "representative." I want to talk to a real person when I call. If I want to know my account balance, I use the web. Easier, faster and I am done. I use the phone when I want to speak to humans. Funny thing, I know, but that's the way this lady is. When computers were more new, I called the bank for the automatic menus that would give my account balance, or recent deposits/withdrawals. Now I can get so much more online, and it is easier and faster than using a phone.
Airline Instructions
I hate listening to the beginning of airline instructions. I don't mind flight attendants drone on about using my seat as a flotation devise, but I hate when they tell us all to listen to the important safety message because in my heart of hearts, I know I don't want to listen that closely. The first time I flew, I listened as if they would give a test at the end of their announcement. The second time, same thing. Now I have heard this so much that I just want them to say it and me to half-listen to it. I have it – I know how to save children who don't have oxygen because we have lost cabin pressure. I know how to buckle my seat buckle, and I am tickled pink when I have to adjust my seat buckle to snugly fit me into my seat. I know that I should not smoke or disable smoke detectors in the lavatories.
How are you?
I used to love saying "How are you?" But I don't like people saying it who don't really give a darned. I mean, try saying, "They foreclosed on my house yesterday, my cat has feline leukemia virus, and I have an irritating vaginal itch." And see if they even skip a beat, or simply say, "Good. Me, too."
Various Medical Situations
People tell me about their medical situations, and I really don't care. I mean, I want people to be well, but if you mention something about your health, I find it that I start displaying the same symptoms. I mean, I have enough trouble touching doorknobs and breathing air during flu season. Don't make my life even harder.
Funny thing is that my family never says anything about their health. I will ask my husband, "You are leaving a trail of blood in the kitchen. When did you cut your hand?" His reply, "Oh." Not, "thanks for noticing," or "Oh, crap, I am bleading," or "I cut my hand on a knife in the kitchen". I love him and don't hear anything about his health. My sibs? Not a word. My brother had an operation, and I found out months later. He just did not want to worry me. Strangers want me to worry, family not so much.
Me, I just want some airline peanuts. I just don't want to hear the safety briefing first.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
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3. My Stories. Yeah, I have a few erotic stories here. I know, they are not all that good, but they were fun to write. Don't read them if this offends you (and they represent less than 1% of the content here). These stories have elements of truth and fantasy, some more true than others. Complain about something that is a bit more substantive if you must complain. I have lots of faults.
6 comments:
When I used to work for a phone company, the reason for the prompt telling you that the options have changed, is to make you LISTEN, instead of punching zero for the lazy receptionist. ;)
The worst is, when you say, "How are ya?" People will respond with, "Hi, how are ya?"
It's idiotic if you think about it!
I have actually _said_ this to someone, with regards to cutting my hand. I cut my hand in kenjutsu practice on a live blade.
Hirose: "OMG Alex chan you're bleeding!"
Me: "yeah."
Hirose: "I must fix you!"
Me: "I'm not broken."
Hirose: "Aiya! Give me your hand!"
Me: "I can still grip the katana..it's okay."
I never go to the doctor..did I ever tell you that? lol
Yeah, but you no longer get the damn peanuts thanks to the allergies of .0005% of the population. And, having just flown transatlantic I hear you about the safety messages. On British Airways they show a safety video with cartoon characters. Yet, when crisis strikes these characters still have their banal smiles. Sorry, but in such a crisis I think these people would be busy soiling their undies rather than smiling.
I so empathize with this blog, dear Leesa.
Ian
Ah for the days when sterwardesses wore make-up, heels and miniskirts (white cottons optional) ;)
Yea, I liked the old days when flight attendants would have sex with you on red eye flights. Now everything is so politically erect and stuff.
~deb: yeah, but still annoying to hear those words.
prata: that does not surprise me one bit.
ian: I wonder what real 5 minute teaching would help in a crisis.
kycm: I think some of the male flight attendents are rather tasty. Gay as a three-dollar bill, but I am only looking anyway.
tony: Some of the "stewardesses" are still attractive. 40-year-olds that must have been quite the rage 15 years ago.
gw: I never knew that occured. So "Coffee Tea or Me" was an accurate depiction?
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